Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
It has been becoming increasingly apparent that this board is beginning to go activist again. I would like to remind everyone that this a support board for family members and loved ones of offenders to come for support not some political/legal/activist site. There are more than enough of those.
I would like to ask everyone to please keep it civil. No snide remarks. No bashing, flaming, or belittling, we all get enough of it from our neighbors we don't need to get it from EACH OTHER.
We do not want to scare off those people that were just looking for a place of support to run across another political/activist site, this is for those that are scared, don't know how to feel, are angry but still care for the person that has betrayed them in some way. This is where they are able to come to not be judged or harrassed or told to suck it up and fight... Sometimes we just don't have the 'fight' in us at the moment and there should be a place for that too.
Keep the activist stuff on SoFAR and RSOL and SOSEN, that is what they are there for. Here is for understanding, support and hope. I would like to keep it that way.
I would like to ask everyone to please keep it civil. No snide remarks. No bashing, flaming, or belittling, we all get enough of it from our neighbors we don't need to get it from EACH OTHER.
We do not want to scare off those people that were just looking for a place of support to run across another political/activist site, this is for those that are scared, don't know how to feel, are angry but still care for the person that has betrayed them in some way. This is where they are able to come to not be judged or harrassed or told to suck it up and fight... Sometimes we just don't have the 'fight' in us at the moment and there should be a place for that too.
Keep the activist stuff on SoFAR and RSOL and SOSEN, that is what they are there for. Here is for understanding, support and hope. I would like to keep it that way.
I do not believe that this battle can be won on the constitutional front. I believe that people ARE being educated and that the tide is slowly changing in our direction. When I look at how far we have come since 2007 prior to the Human Rights Watch report I am amazed.
I do believe in peaceful activism. And I believe that if we organized our effort and made it truly consistent and truly concerted that it would be hugely impactful. I remember the article just last week that someone posted here that quoted the Missouri legislator (one of the most dramatically changing states by the way in terms of coming around our way) where he indicated that his new legislation was a direct result of the many letters he had received from RSO's and our families.
I've proven that I am a true activist unlike the many who throw darts from behind the anonymity of a computer screen.
I don't always agree with Oneof them, and that's ok...different styles.
I don't always agree with others here either, and that's ok too.
i do feel that we need to be able to be active in someway, in fighting this. I don't want to be a doormat. I am seeing positive changes, and I don't think they would have happened if people would have held their tongues.
As was said we do need to get along. We are here for a common purpose. We won't have to worry about the "enemy" if we come apart from within.
We are all here to support each other and are in this fight together. I myself haven't posted here as much lately just because I have been so busy. I also was going through some hard things that I just needed to "be alone" more. Normally I am a pretty talkative person, but lately I haven't been in such a talkative mood, I still come on here practically everyday and read though. Being busy too makes it so I don't post all the time.
Seeing this post was just so sad. Everyone really needs to see the whole picture that there are enough people against "us" that we need to stick together. Sometimes we just need to agree to disagree.
Speaking of support it is a good reminder to remember what this forum was made for. SUPPORT
With this being said support can come in a number of ways. The "hugs", the saying I understand etc. But I think a form of support is also knowing where to go for resources and some of the resources are where can one go if they are ready to fight the fight etc. I see no problem in people discussing this here, but people must be mindful that there are the newly "grieving" that need just support in knowing they are not alone.
Part of the fight is being an activist but also in my opinion some of the fight is just helping "our own" get through everything they have to get through. Just getting through a day can really be hard sometimes. Especially if you are feeling down and depressed and feel like the world is against you. We don't need that here.
Like others have said I read what I want to read, but I think a balance is necessary. I remember when I first came on here people were really supportive, but I also remember thinking is it ok to post about hard things that my bf and I are going through because of the SO issues? I almost felt like it was such a little thing that I shouldn't waste people's time in reading it. But I needed the support and who else could support me more than people going through this.
I got thinking....no that it is ok to post on here. That this is a support group for people that need to talk about the little things sometimes. Not just the big picture all the time.
I want to say that all of you that have posted on this have very valuable opinions, just some are very different then others. We need to embrace these differences and work together not apart.
Once last thing.....Thanks everyone for all the support and information I have gotten on here! I don't know how I could have dealt with all this SO issues "alone."
We need to be a place where everyone who is stuck in this situation, feels comfortable coming. the info here to me, is invaluable.
For instance, I didn't know that PA was considering a residency restriction, until it was brought to my attention here. I then was able to lend my voice and recruit some of my friends and community leaders to do so as well.
Like I said previously, fighting back IS part of my healing. I know that others don't want that or feel they have too much to lose or whatever, and that's fine too.
This should be a place for us all
----------------------------------------
Oneofthem, I agree that you can't talk about support without talking about the solutions to the reason you need support which is becoming active in your political arena in your area/state/nation (since we have people from all over the globe on this forum). You're right it is part of the support process depending on where you are in the 'grieving process', for lack of a better term. I know that while you don't mind if people are in your business about any activist plans, but that isn't everyone, and we have to try to respect EVERYONE's position here. You, even as 'in your face' as you can be sometimes brings a lot to the forum here and I am glad that you have never left even though a lot of times you don't always get agreed with, you have never resorted to petty pot shots at people and snide remarks. For that I thank you.
-----------------------------------------
Terry, the continual insulting, name calling and berating of the moderators here is uncalled for and is unnecessary. You came to this forum and were welcomed when you arrived. Since then you have stirred up more shit than you have supported it seems. If you are thinking that someone has been disrespectful or have violated the rules of this forum then you should have brought it to the owner. (yeah and that is me.) As I have proven on here time and again is that I am brutally fair and I will tell you 'like it is'. So I am telling you, you are dangerously close to banishment for your behavior not only on this thread but on this forum. If I have to be the "Heavy" here I will, because I have 800+ members to think about, not just you.
You claim to have only stood your ground, I have read your posts and you go above and beyond 'standing your ground' and for someone that has had your life experiences, your education and your self-proclaimed expertise, should also know that to succeed you must pick your battles. You are just picking fights with long time members here, in a manner that would make one believe that your only goal is to just stir the pot.
Now for your personal insult to me, or at least that is how I am going to take it... I lived in an abusive relationship for a decade. I know what abuse looks like, I know what it feels like and I know the red flags, and you just accusing me of being abusive is a CLASSIC sign of an abuser, they displace the blame back on the person they are attempting to control. You my friend just proved that again to me.
-----------------------------------------
Christad5, Broken53, Steph2011, & Faeryedark, I am glad to hear that your experiences here were postive, I agree that the more we bicker amongst each other the less that will get done. For the best way to defeat your enemy is to get them fighting from within. I don't believe and hope that is not what Terry is doing intentionally, but regardless the results are the same.
I am glad that you were able to find help and support here and that it did help you come to grips with the decisions that you had to make so far.
-----------------------------------------
I would like to make clear once again that while this forum is for Support mainly, that activism will come into play. This is a given, as one works through their process of shock, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptence (regardless of order) they will want to know about making change and ask about what they can do. That is the process, that is what this site is for. But when someone is trying to plan ralley efforts and other things that involve actual activist moves then it is best to be handled by organizations within the states. Each of the major groups in this country have affiliates, that is what they are there for. Taking that next step... I would never say that activist talk is outlawed here, it is just counterproductive to the purpose of this forum. But when it gets to a certain point the discussion needs to go elsewhere for there are people that come to this site because they need someone to talk to. They are looking for moral and emotional support and forcing them to 'filter' out the increasing amount of activist planning threads and posts is not what this site was intended for.