When my husband first went away I felt the need to protect his good name. His case was not in the news or anything like that but it still got around through "GOSSIP" and you know when people gossip more details are added on to the story to make it juicey. well I thought I had to run behind people to make sure everyone had the correct story. After a few years I wised up. I realized these people did not care they just want to be all up in your business. my so called family and my so called friends who I thought were there for me basically turned there backs on me when I stopped giving out info on my husband so therefor everyone just stays away and thats fine with me because my husband and I are married to each other and no one else. "TELL THEM TO MIND THERE OWN BUSINESS".

To this day,when people ask me where I was or am going, I tell them, "Nunya". When they ask me where that is, I tell them, "Nunya business"!

@NicoleDavis, My son was in the news papers and the on line news paper. They never gave the address, just his name, the date our home was raided, and the town we live in. So enough info for people to add things up. We live in farm country, so aside from the few neighbors across the road, most are at least a city block away, but they still saw all the police cars, state troopers, DHS, and unmarked cars at our house that morning. So far (knock on wood) no one has said anything to either my husband or me. I'm not real sure how I will react if anyone does.

Kitty, my SO is my husband, he was falsely accused by his daughter, due to a family feud. Her bio-mom died when she was 8 weeks old, and my in-laws offered to 'help" What they meant was keep. After my hubby and I married, my mom help him get her back (there were no papers signed by a judge) so we took her back...that pissed them off, and they've been working to turn her against us ever since. Then the issue with my sister in-law's nephew happened. We found that he'd molested my step-daughter on one of the rare occasions that we were sort of getting along. So, we pressed charges and that 'tore it" after that, they sneaked around calling and texting through her friends, and she would run off and go to their house. Then, right before my best-friend's wedding (who was also her Godmother) she made her accusation and asked to be sent to their house. There's SO much more to it...I could write a novel and I've thought about it. Long story short, she was eventually allowed to go live with them and when she turned 18, she got into a huge fight with her uncle and called us from her Grandmother's crying the next day, apologizing for lying and for all the trouble. My husband wants no contact with her and my sons and I have limited contact

@ faeryedark, My heart goes out to all of you. If you ever want to talk or vent privately, feel free to send me a private message. As for your husbands daughter, I'm sorry, I agree with him, I would not want any contact with her. Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like she only apologized because she had a fight with her uncle.

Thank you, and yes, I think her fight was a large part of it. he has since bounced back and forth between their house an her Grandmother's and now she's living with her boyfriend. It's sad really to see how much karma has come back to bite her

@ faeryedark, You know what they say about karma, she can be a real bitch.

We are pretty sure our neighbors saw the cops the day they came and often think that cops interviewed them. Some neighbor won't wave to us anymore but the two neigh or that are next door to us are friendly and nice so far.
The news was online so some of the friends found out. So far it was peaceful too on that end. We decided that this is a test to find out who is the real friend. And everyone really only need couple of really good ones in their life anyway.

@ Compassion4, We live in a farming community but I know the neighbors all saw the marked and unmarked cars (they were in our driveway and lined the road) the day we were raided. At first everyone thought it was because of NY States Safe Act (my husband owns quite a few guns). But I am sure they have seen the 2 times my son was taken out in handcuffs, they saw his PO's vehicle in our driveway numerous times, and the story was in the local papers in print as well as on line. It also made the "big city" newspapers. Neighbors still wave (except for the one across the road). We only have a few good friends, and you are right, really don't need more than that.

I moved about three weeks after he was taken and I don't care what they "neighbors" are saying. Where I live now if anyone asks if I am married, I say separated, since that is not a lie. I learned my lesson when I told my husband's family (out of state). He made me tell them, when I did his sister could not wait to tell everyone in the
state. She was always been jealous of him, even though he has the abandoned one and she grew up with parents. She is two hours away from where he is and has seen him once in almost two years.
Since his family knows and only one aunt writes and comes to see him from his side of the family, his mother died while he was in prison, I will not tell anyone because I don't trust them. Also for my child's sake, I just leave it alone.

It's been tough and we can certainly relate to everyone here. I've had my good days and some very dark days. So if anyone wants to vent I'm available as well.

yousodumb, I understand how you feel. My "family" lives out of state (both my parents have passed away). I would not dream of telling them about my son. I wish I had the ability to move, I would move closer to him so I could visit him.

@ frogpond1, same goes for you. If you ever need to vent, or just talk, I am here.