Families of SOs Community Group
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I came across one of her posts and decided to respond...
I could never quite grasp the concept of women actively searching out convicted sex offenders for relationships. But its not as rare as one would suppose it is. (Which is frightening). Many support groups (especially the daily strength) website have various forums for persons who look for affirmation from others and pour out their guts looking for the proverbial pat on the back from like minded persons in the same "sinking boat". What is common seems to be women who may have either had teenage relationships or had early aquaintance relationships with offenders. For some deranged reason many of these women re-connect with these offenders after 15-20 years. Seems after they have married, had children and then divorce do they actively re-engage with either someone in prison or have been released from prison and have sex offender status?? Of course the ever present "I always knew he was my soul mate" is the most prevalent "excuse" for resuming the relationship. What is very unsettling is these "women" have forfieted their relationships with Parents, friends and relatives when they expose their new "love interest" and even more disturbing is many times they give up their "children". If it were not so "pathetic" to read the predictable excuses and Promises these "convicts" make and these "women" fall for, it would be comical. "He swears" he would never "do it again"? He "cant wait to be in my arms"? "He has learned his lesson and All he can envision is a walk on the beach arm in arm"?? Oh and can you send extra "canteen" money for "tennis shoes"? "sorry about the $300 buck collect calls and that extra job you had to take to pay for my worthless ass while I sit in here". "It will be worth it, once I have you in my arms"? and these broads fall for it. Here is the clincher,the sheer number of excuses they make for their "soul mates" crimes. The pressure of their jobs, the unhappiness of their previous relationship, the meth, the coke, the alcohol, (and thats on the rare occation where the perp actually admits to the crime) seems to be a viable excuse for these women to look past the criminal histories and play martyr! One must ponder what will these "freaks" do when the pressure of parole, the registry, the hunt for employment, the GPS fees, the counseling fees and the residency restrictions hit them between the eyes. Wonder how long it takes for the "bloom to fall off the rose" then? I'll tell you how long, when these women realize they dont even KNOW this guy, but its too late because they dug their heels in with everyone who knew them, already spent thousands on the guy,are the predominant breadwinner and are too embarrassed to admit they "fucked up" by even attempting a life with this "stranger". But they will continue on these "forums" to get a high five from other women who chose an equally dismal road to travel so they can wallow in their stupidity together. Which takes us full circle, they seem to think the Post incarceration issues is the source of their woes, if society took all that away, abolished the registry, no fees, no restrictions, These convicts would actually have to "perform" being an equal partner in the relationship which they were never capable of being before they got arrested?? Chicken or the egg???
HERE IS HER RESPONSE:
FEBRUARY 16, 2015 AT 11:03 PM
Valigator said...
"anonymous" you left plenty out, but I wouldn't expect you to pour your guts out in detail here.
I think you do not grasp the big picture here. It does not do society any good for your husband to "fail". I don't know anyone who would take "glee" in watching your husband re-offend if one more "victim" had to take the brunt of his failure. That being said, any issues you have with the repercussions of the registry is NOT the registries Fault. Those issues go back to the crime itself, (which seems to be the huge disconnect between you and persons as myself). I do take issue with retro-active restrictions but it seems the retro active legislation in some states had their catalyst from Offenders themselves. Not because some lawmaker was sitting around and decided he or she wanted to tighten the screws. But I digress,
I have no tolerance for women who "give up their children" to pursue relationships with sex offenders "despite" that "one and only true love bullshit". Its every mother's obligation Prior to getting pregnant to determine their choices from here on out must be in favor of the children.
The fact you had an ex doing that voluminous amount of drugs indicates the family dynamics of all parties involved may not be as healthy as, or the choices of the personalities in the relationship were capable of making momentous decisions, especially when children are in the mix.
Then to add insult to injury, as a collective the members of DS re-enforce those choices disguised as "support".
I don't wish you any ill will but often in fact inevitably, "choices" made now don't show their true repercussions until many, many years later when children are involved.
ONCE AGAIN I RESPONDED WITH
what do you feel that I left out? I have no problems discussing this with you. As far as "repercussions" of the registry. I have no problem with the registry. My fiancee registers as required. It's just another part of life. Yes my ex has (some descriptive word) with drugs being that he took that amount but nonetheless I am much better off today than I ever was with him. "Choices" I don't see myself ever regretting the choice that I made, I have known and loved this man for 18 years. I have seen how he's turned his life around. He would never hurt a child. His charges would have been dropped had the romeo and juliet act been retroactive and he would have been released that day.
JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE.... WE'LL SEE IF SHE POSTS/RESPONDS TO THIS ONE
I could never quite grasp the concept of women actively searching out convicted sex offenders for relationships. But its not as rare as one would suppose it is. (Which is frightening). Many support groups (especially the daily strength) website have various forums for persons who look for affirmation from others and pour out their guts looking for the proverbial pat on the back from like minded persons in the same "sinking boat". What is common seems to be women who may have either had teenage relationships or had early aquaintance relationships with offenders. For some deranged reason many of these women re-connect with these offenders after 15-20 years. Seems after they have married, had children and then divorce do they actively re-engage with either someone in prison or have been released from prison and have sex offender status?? Of course the ever present "I always knew he was my soul mate" is the most prevalent "excuse" for resuming the relationship. What is very unsettling is these "women" have forfieted their relationships with Parents, friends and relatives when they expose their new "love interest" and even more disturbing is many times they give up their "children". If it were not so "pathetic" to read the predictable excuses and Promises these "convicts" make and these "women" fall for, it would be comical. "He swears" he would never "do it again"? He "cant wait to be in my arms"? "He has learned his lesson and All he can envision is a walk on the beach arm in arm"?? Oh and can you send extra "canteen" money for "tennis shoes"? "sorry about the $300 buck collect calls and that extra job you had to take to pay for my worthless ass while I sit in here". "It will be worth it, once I have you in my arms"? and these broads fall for it. Here is the clincher,the sheer number of excuses they make for their "soul mates" crimes. The pressure of their jobs, the unhappiness of their previous relationship, the meth, the coke, the alcohol, (and thats on the rare occation where the perp actually admits to the crime) seems to be a viable excuse for these women to look past the criminal histories and play martyr! One must ponder what will these "freaks" do when the pressure of parole, the registry, the hunt for employment, the GPS fees, the counseling fees and the residency restrictions hit them between the eyes. Wonder how long it takes for the "bloom to fall off the rose" then? I'll tell you how long, when these women realize they dont even KNOW this guy, but its too late because they dug their heels in with everyone who knew them, already spent thousands on the guy,are the predominant breadwinner and are too embarrassed to admit they "fucked up" by even attempting a life with this "stranger". But they will continue on these "forums" to get a high five from other women who chose an equally dismal road to travel so they can wallow in their stupidity together. Which takes us full circle, they seem to think the Post incarceration issues is the source of their woes, if society took all that away, abolished the registry, no fees, no restrictions, These convicts would actually have to "perform" being an equal partner in the relationship which they were never capable of being before they got arrested?? Chicken or the egg???
HERE IS HER RESPONSE:
FEBRUARY 16, 2015 AT 11:03 PM
Valigator said...
"anonymous" you left plenty out, but I wouldn't expect you to pour your guts out in detail here.
I think you do not grasp the big picture here. It does not do society any good for your husband to "fail". I don't know anyone who would take "glee" in watching your husband re-offend if one more "victim" had to take the brunt of his failure. That being said, any issues you have with the repercussions of the registry is NOT the registries Fault. Those issues go back to the crime itself, (which seems to be the huge disconnect between you and persons as myself). I do take issue with retro-active restrictions but it seems the retro active legislation in some states had their catalyst from Offenders themselves. Not because some lawmaker was sitting around and decided he or she wanted to tighten the screws. But I digress,
I have no tolerance for women who "give up their children" to pursue relationships with sex offenders "despite" that "one and only true love bullshit". Its every mother's obligation Prior to getting pregnant to determine their choices from here on out must be in favor of the children.
The fact you had an ex doing that voluminous amount of drugs indicates the family dynamics of all parties involved may not be as healthy as, or the choices of the personalities in the relationship were capable of making momentous decisions, especially when children are in the mix.
Then to add insult to injury, as a collective the members of DS re-enforce those choices disguised as "support".
I don't wish you any ill will but often in fact inevitably, "choices" made now don't show their true repercussions until many, many years later when children are involved.
ONCE AGAIN I RESPONDED WITH
what do you feel that I left out? I have no problems discussing this with you. As far as "repercussions" of the registry. I have no problem with the registry. My fiancee registers as required. It's just another part of life. Yes my ex has (some descriptive word) with drugs being that he took that amount but nonetheless I am much better off today than I ever was with him. "Choices" I don't see myself ever regretting the choice that I made, I have known and loved this man for 18 years. I have seen how he's turned his life around. He would never hurt a child. His charges would have been dropped had the romeo and juliet act been retroactive and he would have been released that day.
JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE.... WE'LL SEE IF SHE POSTS/RESPONDS TO THIS ONE
I'm pretty decent at uncovering identities based on info freely give, so here's my advice to those concerned about privacy/ safety online.
First, never give specific details. If you are discussing a case, don't name names or use pseudonyms, or give specific times/places. ("I am Derek Logue, I live in Cincinnati, Ohio and my arrest date was February 20, 2000" becomes, "I'm [alias], I live in Ohio and I was arrested around 2000." If I wasn't out on front street so much, no one would be able to use the broad info to narrow things down.) I can collect a fair amount of knowledge about you by what you post online that way and if the case in discussion is a case that got media attention, you gave me a big clue into determining your identity.
Second, I suggest that you make separate email and social networking accounts and create an alias or screen name unique to the separate accounts and be sure to never connect the two. Your new identity has a different hometown and birthday.
If you're REALLY paranoid about being traced by computer-savvy vigilantes (thankfully that is a very rare issue these days), there are a couple of internet related things you can do to make their jobs a bit tougher, like using anonymous web browsers as well as talking to your ISP about whether your IP address is static (never changes) or dynamic (always changes). Time Warner Cable's IP addresses are dynamic and can change weekly. If you unplug your modem frequently, and especially around Monday at noon when the server reassigns IP addresses, you're likely to get a new IP. So, unless this person has a way to figure out how Time Warner keeps tabs on IP address assignments, dynamic IP addresses won't benefit someone trying to track you down via IP these days.
However, you could just be like me and not give a damn. I have learned over the years no one is going to come over and beat you up because of stuff you say on the internet. All Drunkhurst ever does is drunk post on her dumb blog saying the same couple of catchphrases (freaks and the broads banging them, stick a needle in their arms, ain't no fixing that kind of broke, and a couple other silly comments) and occasionally slither onto a news message board and leave her droppings. I wouldn't worry about her because the old crone won't dare leave her nest in Davie and no one reads her blog besides me when I'm up for a laugh.