Families of SOs Community Group
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Very new to the whole situation. It hasn't been long since he was put in jail, although things are moving quickly as we are looking at an ECR hearing by next month, Our home has been our home for over 50 years. Our neighborhood, our town, our friends/family...it's all here. I am mentally, emotionally broken. I fear everyone, everything all the time. Some days are better than others, but honestly...I can't image lasting years like this.
Part of me feels as though once sentencing occurs, once he's placed somewhere permanent and can start the count down to release, then we as a family can start to heal and move on. But even then, overwhelming fear grips me. Vigilantes, local PD, his to be PO, and just people in general as he will try to make his way into society.
Where are we safe? Who can we trust? Where can we go? How can I show my face in church? Do we move?
I miss my friends. I fear their safety and won't allow them to be in my home. Although we seem to be safe for the time being...I don't trust it. This is just a horrific night mare. I used to enjoy crime dramas on TV. Although some are too graphic and can't/won't watch them. Now, I feel as though I'm living that life. It's insane!
Does it really get better? Do you feel safe in your own home again? Do you just move on? I don't know how this is supposed to work. Just lost.
Part of me feels as though once sentencing occurs, once he's placed somewhere permanent and can start the count down to release, then we as a family can start to heal and move on. But even then, overwhelming fear grips me. Vigilantes, local PD, his to be PO, and just people in general as he will try to make his way into society.
Where are we safe? Who can we trust? Where can we go? How can I show my face in church? Do we move?
I miss my friends. I fear their safety and won't allow them to be in my home. Although we seem to be safe for the time being...I don't trust it. This is just a horrific night mare. I used to enjoy crime dramas on TV. Although some are too graphic and can't/won't watch them. Now, I feel as though I'm living that life. It's insane!
Does it really get better? Do you feel safe in your own home again? Do you just move on? I don't know how this is supposed to work. Just lost.
Lots of prayers and hugs ur way
The chances of the neighborhood getting up a posse and coming over to your house to start problems are almost zero. I think you are getting worked up too much over something that will most likely never happen.
Being concerned is one thing, but you appear to be allowing your imagination to run wild.
I know this is emotionally taxing, but you are so worked up that you are getting hysterical. Yes, this is a stressful situation, but slow down.
Take this one day at a time. If you try to think of all the "ifs" "buts" and "ands" and what could or could not happen ALL AT ONCE, you will start to be consumed by the situation. Nobody's mind and mental health can hold up when they have so many worries on their mind all at once. Don't worry what will happen next week or next year; just take care of what needs to be done today or tomorrow..
You might want to think of compartmentalizing things and using that method to worry about only one problem at a time.
I highly doubt anyone will attack you. People may give you dirty looks and some may even say horrible things to you, but most people do not resort to physical violence.
You mentioned, ".... But even then, overwhelming fear grips me. Vigilantes, local PD, his to be PO, and just people in general as he will try to make his way into society."
As I said, I don't think you have to worry about vigilantes except the talk. He is not even in prison yet, so there is no reason to worry----or even think---about the local PD. He won't be on the streets so the PD will not be a factor. The same thing for his PO; your guy has not even been to prison yet, let alone get released, so there is no reason to worry about the PO at this time. Forget about the local PD or the PO. That problem will take care of itself in time, and even then, there is no reason to worry as you have no control over the PD or his PO.
You asked, " Where are we safe? Who can we trust? Where can we go? How can I show my face in church? Do we move?"
You are safe anywhere you need to go. Nobody will follow you around to attack you. The number of people you can trust is small, but you will learn who your true friends are. You and your family can go out to eat as normal, go shopping, go anywhere you want to go. The only thing holding you back are your fears.
How can you show your face in church?? You go to church just as you always have. Why would this stop you from attending church?? If the other people don't understand, they don't need to be in church themselves.
No, you don't move, certainly not now.
You CANNOT hide and fade into the woodwork for no other reason than your mental health. My God, this was just CP; he is not a serial rapist.
Breath. Try to relax and use common sense. Do NOT allow your fears to take over or they will consume you and your family.
Yes, it will get better, but you need to slow down.
Are you seeing a therapist? A professional to talk to? If not, you might want to see one to get your feet back on the ground. If this begins to consume you and you cannot function in life, you might need to see a physician. He can possibly prescribe you a mild antidepressant or anti-anxiety med to get you through this.
You WILL get through this. Ninety nine percent of the people who start this journey make it through; there is no reason you cannot do the same.
rewdiazepam
Rew I will PM you soon. BTW, your pretty amazing. God bless.
You're going through a difficult part of a horrible journey and your emotions will be every where but that's ok. I didn't leave the house in a long time I was so scared of people seeing me, walking to the post box was a marathon, I had my few friends I have left walk with me to do the school runs! Even after release we are far from "normal" but with 2 young children it will be a fight.
Deep breaths, you're not alone through this.