I wish I had advice for you on this but I honestly don't know if the letters that were written for my son did any good, or if they were more harm. He didn't score prison, here it is 44 to score mandatory time and he was a 22. I handed in letters from two pastors, though we are atheists... well, I am, he is more agnostic... and the pastor at the food pantry where we volunteer sent a letter directly to the judge (he knows him from the community) and there were letters from the Head Coach of an American Karate Federation who has known me since I was 11 so has known my son since he was born, and from a woman who WAS the head of PAL where he used to volunteer and is now the Director of a community center where we still volunteer anytime we are back home, and from his old 4H leader. But those didn't seem to matter. Not to mention, I wrote a letter talking about how during the time of my son's arrest, we had just undergone a series of unfortunate and very stressful life events, the loss of his grandmother whom he was very close to, getting kicked out of the house we had moved all the way to Fl, from Oh to because the woman there who was a childhood friend of mine wanted to be able to control HIS paychecks and we gave in, but I told her that I wanted him to at least have his first paycheck for himself... Anyway, it didn't seem to matter. Also, bad timing since it is an election year. Good luck to you really.

ndmarie - here is the list that my husband's attorney gave us to give to friends and family. The judge commented on 5 of our letters in sentencing. We had both my children (17 and 23), friends with kids, in-law that had been sexually abused (unknownst to any of us before this), and even my husband's ex-wife. We had 17 years knocked off of what the prosecutor wanted. 10 years off what her best term was (13 years). Of course we had to go back to the mandatory minimum. This all depends on the judge if they are hardcore on the guidelines or if they believe in making their own decisions based on what they have in front of them for each case.

I can send you the letter my husband wrote to the judge if you would like.

1. Address as:
Dear Judge _________;
2. Make these letters all individual, not as a group or couple
3. Do NOT address a specific sentence. Ask the judge for leniency. In other words; dont ask for probation or any prison sentence
4. Dont talk about how bad it would be for me to be away. Talk about how valuable I am to be around for you or anyone else.
5. Also address the support group that I have. Even though I had these disgusting images on my computer you guys still supported me, and that support will not change after the punishment.
6. If you can explain one thing I have done for any of you that was of help. Or anything I have done that is above what is expected of people.
7. Keep the letters 1-3 pages long. Preferably 1.5 pages. Keep it short and to the point.
8. Sign it "Respectfully Yours"


Hope this helps with sentencing.

Thank you Idilling, my husband is also being sentenced shortly on CP possession 1 count federal. We are doing the letter writing campaign also. I appreciate all your help and really hate that we are all going through this. Praying that letter can help.

Idilling- Thanks so much for the information. It's very helpful and I appreciate you taking the time to post that.

My husband's attorney said that the letters are what got us to get the judge to fight the crazy sentences and dare to sentence below the mandatory minimum. I hope that by using these guidelines you can get a lenient sentence as well. I, personally, don't believe that a first time offender should go to prison for these charges, unless there is money trading hands because then someone is being supported for abusing kids. I know in our case just the arrest was enough to scare the crap out of my husband. It would have been enough to make sure he knew what he was downloading!! Good Luck! My thoughts are with you!

I so agree Idilling on first time offenders should not be going to prison. Just the fact of having to live as a SO and the stigma that comes along with it, plus having to face friends/family and the rest of the community with them all knowing what he did, like I've told many people, that is more punishment to my husband over any amount of incarceration. All incarcerating him is going to do is punish our children by not allowing their father to stay and be a father to them.

well said ndmarie- exactly how I feel, so sad there are so many of us in this situation!

I'm in same boat, and agree completely, EXCEPT, I'd rather see some punishment that has a start and finish time - prison if need be to satisfy justice, but omit any time on a registry. The stigma, restrictions, job prospects - it is very emasculating and totally unnecessary. Fantasy does not make someone dangerous. If it did, every subscriber to Playboy should be put away.

Anyway, here's my take on the letters. I am not sure the judge read them or they specifically changed the judge's mind about anything. Most were from friends and relatives with children, which I thought was good. What I am very sure of is NOT having support letters looks VERY bad. It makes it look like something is wrong with the guy if no one will step up to the plate and support him. So follow the advice above, get as many as you can. We turned in 14. Plus, it makes the family and friends feel good they could do a little something, cuz trust me, NOTHING will EVER make you feel as powerless as watching a loved one go to prison. I strongly, strongly suggest you get as much information as possible from your attorney about how the first couple weeks play out, the rules, when you can expect to hear from him, etc. It was like my husband evaporated into a black hole and I could do utterly nothing. I was never so crazed in my whole life, and I did not know about this group at the time. It would have been so much better for me if I had. Be sure you have lots of support around you, get your finances in order, learn about buying phone calls for him, and so forth. I wish you all the best, truly truly.

I would also see how many people u can get in the courtroom. We had everyone who wrote letters. About 15 people, including my children because we didnt know if they would keep him or let him come back home after sentencing. He got 60 days before self surrendering. He sure must be a danger to society!

I agree that a guven time, but nit 5-20 years, and no bs after would better than no time and a lifetime or even 10 years of registration.

Idilling - was your husband's case state or federal, I'm gathering federal since you have referred to the mandatory minimums. The reason I ask is I had asked my husband's lawyer about what we would need to do about having the option of my husband self surrender when the time came. He told me that wasn't an option that in a federal crime like this that my husband will be taken into custody immediately after sentencing. Yet, I recall reading about a guy from NY who got 12 years and was allowed 30 days to self surrender for CP and it was federal. So, now I'm really curious since you are mentioning self surrendering also.

As for having people in the courtroom, we are hoping to get as many people into the courtroom on the day of sentencing as possible. I'm glad to know that worked for your husband, I'm hopeful the letters and having people there in the courtroom will have a positive outcome for my husband as well.

Claire- I agree, I would gladly see my husband take prison time(within a decent reason of time) to eliminate the registry and all that goes with it.

I've been doing a ton of research on prior cases in our area who were sentenced by the same judge my husband has. In every case I have researched, the judge took into account all the letters he received, even referencing some of the letters. So, I'm hopeful that the letters submitted for my husband will be read. We plan to have a variety of letters from family/friends, those who served with my husband in the military(which there are ALOT of the guys standing behind my husband who are willing to write a letter and show up in court, including top ranking personal even), my husband also has an uncle who is a senator and has been for over 30 years, I'm hoping he will write a letter(figure it can't hurt having a letter from a senator). My husband has also been seeing several therapists, and we have received letters from 2 of them so far, which I feel are very well written and I'm hopeful they will be helpful. We have been very fortunate to have so many people having our back and willing to write and do whatever they can to help.

We were a military family, have gone through a lengthy deployment, my husband was actually gone when our first child was born(left when I was 3 months pregnant) and didn't come home until he was 8 months old. He was one of the first units over in Iraq when the war started and so we had no contact or had any idea where he was for 4 months. I know this is a totally different situation, yet I feel I'm about as prepared as I possibly can be. The hard part at this point is the fear I feel on the financial level, because even though over the course of our marriage we have been separated many times before because of work or military obligations, I always had financial help still coming in even if he wasn't here. However, I'm surrounded by family and friends who have really been stepping up, even more so then they did when he deployed before, so I'm hopeful that no matter what happens we will somehow get through. I actually look at it that through all the hardships in the past, all the time we have had to spend apart, that it was God's way of preparing me for this upcoming time.

Idilling-do you think those same guidelines would work for any charge or just CP? My husband deserves punishment for what he did, but not what the prosecutor is wanting.

My husband's was federal. Western Missouri district. The prosecutor wanted to take him, but the judge gave him 60 days, which is almost unheard of. He was trying to prove a point, I think!! He spent 22 hours in county total time until he surrendered.

Idilling- when did your husband get sentenced? Thinking maybe I would point our lawyer to his case for sentencing with my husband......

My husband was sentenced March 2011.