Families of SOs Community Group
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When a loved one has a problem in prison, many family members are reluctant to either talk to the prison officials or email them for fear of retaliation against their loved one. Some even fear that their loved one will get the reputation of being a snitch if his family calls about a problem.
If your loved one has a problem with medical or with a transfer, by all means call and attempt to get it rectified. Same goes if he is having a classification probglem. When you call, ask point blank questions. Be direct, but above all BE POLITE and civil. If you come off as an ass, they will slow play you and it will never get done.
Remember above all BE NICE AND BE TACTFUL. Prison officials do not respond well to crude language, loud outbursts, threats, or demands.
By being direct and point blank, they cannot evade your question or beat around the bush. If they don't know, ask them, "Who could I contact to fix this problem?" If they think you might be going over their head to find a solution, many times the problem will be fixed at the local level. Also threats rarely work against these people so threatening to go to the warden will probably cause more problems. Rather than threaten, just do it without saying anything.
If your loved one is having problems with a special medical diet in the kitchen, or as I said, with medical or a transfer, by all means contact them. The squeaky wheel gets the most grease and if you say nothing, nothing will ever be done---trust me on that.
Regarding a problem with the mail. Unless you think a letter has been lost, there is no reason to complain to the mail room. There are too many methods they can use to cover up any problem. Complaining about the mail being slow is counterproductive. Some mail room employees have been known to single out inmates and throw their mail in the trash. Remember that.
Regarding a problem with visitation. If you are having problems getting approved for visitation or have questions regarding visitation, yes, contact them. But if there are actual problems in the visiting room----food machines empty, COs being rude, etc.,----there is no point. If they take it out on your loved one or your family, they can make a visit an adventure instead of the enjoyable time it should be. They see visits as PRIVILEGES not rights, so there is no real push for visiting to be as nice as it should be.
These are institutional problems. No inmate will hold it against your loved one if you inquire about these types of problems. These are legitimate problems.
BUT STAY OUT OF PRISON POLITICS. If a CO is treating you son unfairly, let your son take care of it. And don't DARE call the prison to complain about another inmate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would also be careful in calling and complaining about a case manager. Instead, just ask your same question to someone higher up the ladder. If you get the reputation of being a chronic complainer, it will be like the little boy that cried wolf---the will quit responding to you.
Many of these people are petty and mean-spirited. Remember that. But most are lazy and incompetent. Just know who you are dealing with.
It is very effective to let them know in a subtle fashion that you are the WIFE or the MOTHER and that you are very concerned about this problem----and you are looking for a solution. No, don't DEMAND a solution, just say you are looking for a way to solve the problem. Many inmates have no family on the outside to fight for them, so when a staff member hears that you are the wife or mother, their ears perk up.
The generalized conditions such as a/c, heat, kitchen food, canteen privileges, etc. are also problems that you want to stay away from. There is little heat and no a/c usually and conditions such as the food will not change anyway.
I know most of you understand this, but I had a lady yesterday that called the Lieutenant to complain about another inmate AND a CO. She did not know better. This is what really prompted me to write this.
Unless there is an egregious civil rights violation, let your loved one take care of it. If there is a serious violation, it is time for an attorney anyway.
Phone calls are effective, followed by emails; snail mail is the least effective means of dealing with a prison problem.
This is just what I observed during my time in prison.
Just trying to help.
rewdiazepam
If your loved one has a problem with medical or with a transfer, by all means call and attempt to get it rectified. Same goes if he is having a classification probglem. When you call, ask point blank questions. Be direct, but above all BE POLITE and civil. If you come off as an ass, they will slow play you and it will never get done.
Remember above all BE NICE AND BE TACTFUL. Prison officials do not respond well to crude language, loud outbursts, threats, or demands.
By being direct and point blank, they cannot evade your question or beat around the bush. If they don't know, ask them, "Who could I contact to fix this problem?" If they think you might be going over their head to find a solution, many times the problem will be fixed at the local level. Also threats rarely work against these people so threatening to go to the warden will probably cause more problems. Rather than threaten, just do it without saying anything.
If your loved one is having problems with a special medical diet in the kitchen, or as I said, with medical or a transfer, by all means contact them. The squeaky wheel gets the most grease and if you say nothing, nothing will ever be done---trust me on that.
Regarding a problem with the mail. Unless you think a letter has been lost, there is no reason to complain to the mail room. There are too many methods they can use to cover up any problem. Complaining about the mail being slow is counterproductive. Some mail room employees have been known to single out inmates and throw their mail in the trash. Remember that.
Regarding a problem with visitation. If you are having problems getting approved for visitation or have questions regarding visitation, yes, contact them. But if there are actual problems in the visiting room----food machines empty, COs being rude, etc.,----there is no point. If they take it out on your loved one or your family, they can make a visit an adventure instead of the enjoyable time it should be. They see visits as PRIVILEGES not rights, so there is no real push for visiting to be as nice as it should be.
These are institutional problems. No inmate will hold it against your loved one if you inquire about these types of problems. These are legitimate problems.
BUT STAY OUT OF PRISON POLITICS. If a CO is treating you son unfairly, let your son take care of it. And don't DARE call the prison to complain about another inmate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would also be careful in calling and complaining about a case manager. Instead, just ask your same question to someone higher up the ladder. If you get the reputation of being a chronic complainer, it will be like the little boy that cried wolf---the will quit responding to you.
Many of these people are petty and mean-spirited. Remember that. But most are lazy and incompetent. Just know who you are dealing with.
It is very effective to let them know in a subtle fashion that you are the WIFE or the MOTHER and that you are very concerned about this problem----and you are looking for a solution. No, don't DEMAND a solution, just say you are looking for a way to solve the problem. Many inmates have no family on the outside to fight for them, so when a staff member hears that you are the wife or mother, their ears perk up.
The generalized conditions such as a/c, heat, kitchen food, canteen privileges, etc. are also problems that you want to stay away from. There is little heat and no a/c usually and conditions such as the food will not change anyway.
I know most of you understand this, but I had a lady yesterday that called the Lieutenant to complain about another inmate AND a CO. She did not know better. This is what really prompted me to write this.
Unless there is an egregious civil rights violation, let your loved one take care of it. If there is a serious violation, it is time for an attorney anyway.
Phone calls are effective, followed by emails; snail mail is the least effective means of dealing with a prison problem.
This is just what I observed during my time in prison.
Just trying to help.
rewdiazepam
I also got another CO at another prison placed on permanent garbage duty. Every Sunday when I would get to the prison (I always got there an hour to an hour and a half early) I would put my make up on in the car. This guy would be patroling the outer perimiter of the prison. When he saw my car in the parking lot he would pull over on the side of the road, take out his binoculars and watch me...One Sunday the LT was outside the door smoking a cigarette and talking to the visitors (He was a real nice guy). I told him that I was just curious why this guard was watching me put my make up on. Was he trying to learn how to apply mascara and lip stick? The next week the LT told me that I didn't have to worry about the guy stalking me at the prison any more, as he was put on garbage duty .
Another time when I came to visit, I was the first visitor to be let into the visitor park, 4 inmates were sent into the park with me to wait for their visitors (my husband was not one of them). 20 to 30 minutes later my husband was sent out...This could have been a very dangerous situation for me, so the next day I made a phone call ( I don't remember who I called as it was 27 years ago). I got an apology from the staff and it never happened again.
ibeenthere2, your a piece of work! (in a nice way) LOL love it!