Its hard. Like really hard. My fiance got caught up in a sting operation many years ago when he himself was a kid. And is a registered sex offender. Despite all of that, i still fell in love with him and i have kids with him. Hes not a bad person at all. But everyone judges. My family hates me cuz of it. All i have now is the little family i made. Finding places to rent is hard. Everything just becomes harder. But i refuse to give up cuz its the easiest way around it. Just hang in there. What he did doesnt define him or you. I just simply say fuck the world lol.

Thanks. I needed to hear that. At one point I told someone that leaving would have been easier. They told me staying was easier. I laughed. So. Thanks for validating that for me.

I’m in a more positive mindset right now. Never know when the negative thoughts will creep in.

Satan will tug at you and that darkness can creep in. Stay stron and pray, read Gods word. That helped me to a place where I rarely think about it anymore. Just if PO stops by, or something comes on the news. Best to avoid that trap. Lol

I have worked with sex offenders and their families for almost two decades, so please allow me to give you some insight. I have learned a lot from experience and not from a textbook.

The majority of sex offenders are not evil human beings. With the advent of the internet and the proliferation of digital media, many guys convicted of a sex offense have been convicted of non-contact, non-violent crimes such as downloading child porn or in one of these stings operated by law enforcement.

Most sex offenders are rather meek, non-violent, and appear to be normal functioning citizens. I care about these folks and their families b/c I understand the dynamics which made most of them offend.

The child porn defendants are vilified, but most would never touch a child. And no, child porn is NOT necessarily a gateway to child molestation. If people had an open mind and worked with these offenders they would not have these misguided conceptions. Yet, CP offenders are considered monsters.

Most child molesters have been involved in CP, but not all CP offenders are child molesters.

There are a class of evil sex offenders out there that prey on children or young women using violent methods, but the two classes of offenders I just mentioned are not in that category. The guys that are violent rapists or molest dozens of children need to be placed in prison for the rest of their lives, but most sex offenders are treatable with the right kind of therapy.

Many CP offenders offended as the result of an adult pornography addiction which spun out of control. They were looking for something on the internet that excited them and when normal, vanilla porn no longer did that, they found CP. Often they have escalated from legal adult porn to more risqué forms of porn such as incest or BDSM. CP is the last resort for them.

Many of the offenders who were caught in an internet sting much like the “To Catch a Predator” sting are sad, lonely guys looking for companionship or trying to find something in life that makes them happy.

These two types of offenders are not the violent rapists or serial child molesters that we often see. They can be treated and get on with their life.

I do not condone sex offenses and do not make excuses for most offenders, but there is a huge difference between the rapists and the guy trying to make a date with a 14 year old teen in a chat room. Until we, as a society, can understand this, our sex offender problem will never go away.

But we have a certain class of folks in this country who get enjoyment from kicking a guy when he is down. Seeing someone at the bottom of the societal totem pole makes them feel good inside b/c it makes up for all their own failures in life. These people love misery and misery loves company. Seeing these offenders down and out gives them great enjoyment, as they see someone lower in society as they are.

In many of these cases, sadly, these charges polarize a family and the family members choose to take sides. The mother of the offender is ostracized for showing the unconditional love for her son that a mother is supposed to have. I have seen this time and time again. At a time when the mother or wife is suffering with the offender---the son or the husband----instead of taking them in to help with their suffering, we compound that suffering by forcing them to choose sides and ostracizing them.

It is just all very complicated and complex.

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