My brother was transported yesterday to the "reception" facility for state prisons in his state. It's a maximum security prison--pretty sure the word reception doesn't really describe what he's facing. He's a bald, skinny dude in his 50's -very bitter, angry and depressed. He's bisexual and now an SO. Had a consensual relationship with a 17 year old and took some pics. Then he thought he could talk his way out of it. He talked and talked and talked. You know how that went.
I am his person outside. He really has no one but another sister and me plus a few friends/family members who are supportive but don't want to get too involved. I don't blame them. This is really, really hard. I love him dearly, but I haven't liked him in many years. And now I'm his person. (I know you understand what that involves). And I hate being his person. I am pissed and deeply sad/ashamed and so incredibly worried about his future and now I'm terrified for his safety & mental health while he's in "reception" and beyond. I sometimes feel selfish complaining about this, because it's so much harder for him. But dealing with this is really taking a personal toll. I know you get it. Thanks for letting me vent--