Families of SOs Community Group
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brand new to the site, but looking for advice with coping. To say this has been tough is an understatement, this has ravaged my life and I'm just trying to cope and be strong for my family and for myself. My father is facing his 2nd charge for cp. The first was 13 years ago when I was 23. He was an upstanding business man in our community, and was charged and spent 5 years in prison, losing his business, friends, everything. This was devastating for me, and didn't respond in the most positive way ( lots of drug and alcohol abuse) which I have since overcome. He had been living a good life since release, being a part of my and my family's life, living on his own, seeing his grandchildren, etc. But was recently charged again for the same crimes, once again downloaded cp. I'm at a loss to comprehend how he could throw everything away yet again, even after serving a prison term. I have 2 daughters and hate the fact that they will never know their grandpa. I also have such a hard time reconciling the fact that this man that I thought was a great father, was also capable of such things. Just need some help, someone who can relate, because I feel all alone in coping with this. And the burden is more than I can bear alone. Please help.
A lot of CP defendants would never touch a child. Not all CP offenders would ever go on to offend against a child, but many child molesters have viewed CP. It is similar to what you see in drug abuse----not all people who use marijuana go on to use harder drugs such as heroin or cocaine, but many addicts at one time used marijuana.
In other words, CP is not a gateway to child molestation or rape just as marijuana is not necessarily a gateway to harder drugs.
When the cause of offending is a vanilla porn addiction which is out of control, the offender usually starts out with normal male/female porn, graduates to BDSM, maybe on to bestiality---sex with animals---and then finds himself downloading and viewing CP. It seems as if sometimes a porn addict needs something stronger and more taboo to give him the thrill of watching porn.
With the advent of the internet, it becomes very easy for someone to become addicted to porn, and some go on to CP. Some CP offenders downloaded CP out of curiosity or just because it was taboo.
I think it is probably true that a porn addict has something missing in his life which causes him to become addicted to porn. Many, many people watch legal porn, but not all become addicted.
The CP offenders who are actually interested in sex with children treat CP like crack cocaine. They build collections, become a member of a group which also collects CP, and they trade CP like baseball cards.
I don’t know anyone who has all the answers as to why someone graduates to CP, but in my experience helping and supporting CP offenders, I found my above statements to be true.
Apparently, you father has some sort of fixation on CP and is unable to resist its allure. He definitely needs some professional help.
I do want to stress one thing. Your father is not necessarily a bad person, but a person with an addiction, just as some people have drug and gambling addictions. Society frowns on CP offenders, as they have been led to believe that those who view CP are potential child molesters, which is not necessarily true.
Here is a link to an article written by a professional which touches on some of the things I have mentioned----
http://tinyurl.com/zusbben
I am not a mental health professional, but I have talked to dozens and dozens of mothers and family members of CP defendants to gain a perspective on these charges.
BTW, I sent you a message.
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