I also have stayed with my husband he sexually abused my daughters (his stepdaughters). It has not been easy. It's been a little over 2-1/2 years now. I still love him and people can not understand how i can. As i tried to explain to my youngest daughter the other night. If you did something horrible and you got sent to jail would you want me to be there for you? If you were married would you want your husband to be there for you? Her answer was yes to both. So i told her that i am still there for my husband because i still love him and i want to be there for him to help him get help. Just because you do something terrible whether it be CP, rape, murder, etc. you still are a human being and deserve to be loved. Do not let people tell you how you should feel or what you should do as they have no idea what you are going through and dealing with. They have no idea how they would actually handle the situation as i always said if anyone ever sexually abused my kids i would hurt them real bad and leave their sorry ass, well that is not what i did when the situation hit me up close and personal. People can talk all they want about things and until they have been in the situation they have no real clue how they will handle it. As other have said you will find out who your true family and friends are during this time. I have 2 close friends that i can talk to about what is going on in my life when it comes to my husband as no one else will listen or cares. This board is a great place to learn alot.

thanks everyone for your kind words and willingness to share your stories so that we at least have a place to come and not be judged. All of you here are strong and amazing folks!

Thank Rew and Rew is exactly correct! You have to shed all that crap that others believe about this situation and arm yourself with the truth! When you have the truth you will realize that one reason you feel shame is because you are buying the crap that the media and politicians are selling about sex offenses and the registry. You best defense is to learn the truth and tell others when you think it is appropriate (tell them the truth i mean) Some will listen and learn - others will not - you will find out who loves you and who really does not. I have seen friends recoil from me when I tell them as if I had some kind of weird sickness they would catch - others reached out and hugged me

I'm so sorry for what you are about to go through and hope it can be minimized as much as possible early. Definitely listen to your attorney. One of the best pieces of advice i got was from my priest - don't let other people's opinions affect my decisions; it's my life and i can deal with things on my timeline. Once he 'gave me permission', I felt much freer and I think i've made the best decisions for me and my children. Best wishes.