Hire the best criminal defense attorney you can afford ASAP. Only an experienced criminal defense attorney can protect your son from having some of his civil rights violated by law enforcement at this time.

The attorney can be your voice, so do NOT discuss the case with anyone except the attorney.

GOOD GOD, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE ALLOW YOUR SON TO TALK TO THE POLICE. The police are NOT your friend or your son’s friend. They are not humanitarians that will help if your son needs some help; no, they will bury your son if they can.

Law enforcement makes arrests, which ultimately results in a conviction. THIS IS ALL THEY CARE ABOUT.

Law enforcement will take a young man who is naïve toward the system and twist everything he tells them to make him look guilty. Yes, they lie, and they lie often. He will be the crippled and vulnerable young man and they will try to tear him apart.

When the police calls, invoke your Fifth Amendment protection agains self-incrimination. Tell them, “He is making no statements without his attorney present,” then don’t say another word to them. Oh, they will play their little mind games with such hollow promises such as, “We just want to hear his side of the story,” or “If you have not done anything wrong, there is no harm in talking to us, “ or “If you cooperate and help clear up this situation, we will recommend that the DA go easy on you.”

Don’t fall for any of their nonsense. They may ask your son to come down to the station to “clear some things up.” Tell them not without your attorney present.

Many a naïve young man has talked his way into prison.


DO…NOT…SAY…ONE…DAMN…WORD TO THE POLICE OR ANYONE AFFILIATED WITH THE PROSECUTOR. REMEMBER, HE WILL NOT TALK TO ANYONE WITHOUT HIS ATTORNEY PRESENT.

Here are some links to explain and re-enforce what I am saying----

http://tinyurl.com/qfoo849

http://tinyurl.com/y3x5dkcs

You said, I am completely lost. We have been to a therapist, reported it all to the authorities, and are waiting for the policy to call him in for questioning. What now? Should I get him a lawyer or let him just talk to the police? I want to comply, he has to face the consequences, but I am also scared for my child and want him to get help and get better.

He does not need to talk to the police. NOTHING he can say to them will help him. If he talks to the police and is convicted, he may go to prison. I can guarantee you that he will not get any help there. Prisons are no place for young men. Trust me, I served eight years on a bogus rape charge.

If you have ANY questions or comments, send me a message and we can talk.

rewdiazepam

I made some horrible choices as a young teenager that weren’t discovered until after I was no longer a juvenile. I was sentenced as an adult and given probation and still a registered sex offender today. This most likely is going to follow your son until his dying breath. You do not have to worry about him not facing the consequences of his actions—he most certainly will.

Please, please, please, listen to Rew and get the best attorney you can afford. Put a 2nd mortgage on the house if necessary. What happens at this point has long lasting ramifications for your life and especially your son’s.

Your family and friends, the world, police, the DA all will say your son is a monster. Your son is not a monster! In fact there is an extremely good chance (97-98%) with therapy that he will not reoffend again. Please look at this research from Elizabeth Letourneau, she is the director of the Moore Center for the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse within the Bloomberg School of Public Health, at John Hopkins University.

https://hub.jhu.edu/magazine/2018/spring/children-who-are-child-sexual-abusers/

She also did a great TED talk that was enlightening as well:

https://youtu.be/h2iV3Gf0lVA

Society is so badly informed about sex offenses. We spend nearly all our money punishing known offenders and no money trying to prevent future offenses and offenders not on the registry.

I would be remiss if I did not tell you after sentencing how many times I wanted to give up in life but my parents wouldn’t let me. They stood by me, kicked my butt, and wouldn’t let me quit. I’m now married, have a great job and a house. Unless you googled me you’d never know I was on the registry.

There is a fulfilling life for your son to live but he needs you more than he will ever know. But right now he needs the best attorney you can buy.

Feel free to reach to me as well.

-Independent

*HUGS* keep reaching out, and remember you're not alone.

Thank you!
The problem I will have is affording a lawyer, any lawyer. I am on a fixed, low income. I don't own a house to mortgage. My son's father has never met him and barely pays child support. In all honesty, paying for a lawyer, and the boys fines (he hasn't been to court so I don't know how much) will most likely leave me without a home and no family to turn to.
I am so angry at that boy. I love him, and will stand behind him, but I am a tornado of sad, angry, hurt, worried, scared... He is just a boy. He did wrong, but he is a kid. He has been homeschooled and sheltered, never been allowed to watch anything more than a pg-13 movie...he is very active in 4H, has done a lot of community service and fundraisers. He square dances and plays fiddle. . And now I find out that he has a porn addiction and has been messing with his cousins.

If you can’t afford an attorney you will get a public defender. It is imperative that you and your son do not talk to the police. They will use every trick in the book to get you to talk.

I understand you want your son to face consequences, he will. But trust me, the police are not your friends. Under no circumstances should you allow him to talk to the police. You should also not talk to the police and when they ask you what happened tell them that you are waiting to talk to your son’s lawyer before saying anything to them.

Your son won’t be appointed a public defender for some time so it is vitally important you do not say anything to the cops.

Cops lie, they are legally allowed to lie. If you lie to the cops you get in trouble legally, but if cops lie to you it’s not a problem. That’s why it is always better to say nothing.

Please tell us you will help your son by not allowing him or yourself to be tricked into talking to them!

You also need to make it known to the police by spoken word and in writing that they cannot talk to him without you and his lawyer present and that you do not consent to them talking to him. Keep a copy of it, maybe even make a recording on your phone of you talking to the police and telling them they cannot talk to him.

One thing I have learned in the past 8 months of he'll is that THE POLICE, the PROSECUTORS, the so called "people who want to help or are just looking out for your child, are the exact ones that will do and say ANYTHING to lock them away. Do NOT trust the police, therapists, DA, NO ONE but your attorney. Please please please listen to rew. He knows his way around this crazy confusing,nonsense of a judicial system.

Please listen to these guys. My son talked to the police and did not have an attorney present. HE got a big sentence his first time ever getting into trouble. Rew knows what he is doing. He helped me alot when my son first went into the system. Prayers for you and your family!

@confused_momma any update on the case?

As the mother of a deferred sentencing sex offender who will turn 19 in August, I cam assure you it wouldn't have mattered if he had access to cable or not. Addiction is addiction... they will find a way to satisfy that craving, even at the expense of hurting others.
#mysonrapedhissister
All I can offer is do what is necessary to protect and take care of yourself. And PLEASE dont do this alone. Im grateful for your story, because its helps folks like me to know Im not alone.

LAWYER FOR SURE!
HE HAS A VERY LONG ROAD AHEAD POSSIBLY LIFE LONG. HE NEEDS AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE ON HIS SIDE.

I hope she got this worked out. I hope he got a decent lawyer even if a public defender. All your posts helped validate that we made the right decision in a similar situation--except that we learned too late that he shouldn't have talked to police. I think we lucked out with getting a good lawyer (we didn't have much time to look around, pretty much picked the first one that called us back) and assigned to a DA that is willing to have an open mind that someone who offended as a middle schooler does not deserve a lifelong adult record just because it was disclosed when he had just turned 18.

I really felt the same when we first found out--angry at him, wanting him to face consequences, but scared shitless when I learned what the consequences could be. I see him not only as a perpetrator who hurt someone else I love very much, but also as a victim of the system and of whoever tricks and snares young kids into porn online.