In the early 2000 I spent 3Years in federal prison at a low in fl. Things may have cha
nge but I did not have any problems there. I only spent about 30 days at county lockup. With out any problems. I aleays kept my charges to my self But someone will alway find out. There are a lots of so at federal prison I met alot of them and they were left alone. I was the same age your husband is. Just keep your hope up and both of you will get through this

When my son went in at 20, for accidentally downloading cp, federal prison for 30 months. . I was worried. But there are people who were there for him, other inmates who watched out for my son. He made some lifelong friends.
And I can tell you, after his time served, if I was in a situation in a prison and I had to choose a side , I'd be with the inmates. As long as your husband treats everyone with respect, and make up a fake story, he'll be fine. My son eventually told a friend in there what he really went to prison for and it didn't bother him.
Respect is #1.
Johnson.. my son went to coleman low, is that where you went?

There are a few cases where an SO is killed. CA has the highest number of SO'd killed in prison, and I believe it's because they are in Gen Population, and not a Special Needs Yard (SNY). If your husband makes up a charge, keeps to himself and doesn't act like a predator, then he should be fine.

Rew could attest to that, as well as others who have served time. It's a scary world when you have never been through this, and the horror stories just make you more fearful. I don't read or watch any show that has to do with people in prison. I can't do it. Rew said many of the shows sensationalize what happens in prison to get higher ratings.
You both will do OK. You both just need to take it one day at a time.

I have never had anyone in prison with an SO charge, but my fiance was in the County Jail and had no problems whatsoever as they kept SOs in their own areas. What I do know is that people mostly talk about the bad things, and that goes from everything to restaurant reviews to experiences in prison. Seldomly do you hear about someone mentioning positive things unless asked. So, with that, true, horrible things can happen, but my guess is that the majority of time it doesn't. I feel your pain. My fiance was in jail for just a short time compared to many others, but I felt guilty to even eat a good meal or go for a bike ride, always wondering what he was doing at that very moment. I still cry thinking about it. However, others who have been in this for much longer have much greater advice here, and they know that things will get better over time. Everything does. It always helped me to look at it as a military deployment. The fear of the wives left behind, not knowing if their husbands would come back alive. They have support groups, and maybe your area has a support group for families of prisoners you can attend in person? You don't have to mention his charge, but just being around others in similar situations has helped me. We have a church that put meetings on once a month. Try to find one in your area. This online group is great, but sometimes it helps to put faces to situations. Come here often.

One thing that should help provide comfort...

Be thankful he is in the Federal System and not the State System. The federal system seems to do a little better job at things than the state.

Most likely he will be sent to a Low security facility unless his points that he received for his crime are up really high.

Unless your points are high the reason the feds send you to a low security facility is because of the exact thing you wrote about. When I spent time transferring one time I was at a medium security facility and I asked why I was going to the Special Housing Unit because I have been a model prisoner so far. They said it was because i cannot be out on the yard. And I know what that meant. SO's are not allowed on the yard because other inmates don't realize that they are a security threat to society too and they wear the same tan khakis that I did. It's not fair... but just the way it is.

Believe it or not if you look like you are "square as a brick" (if you remember what the term "square" meant back in the day... square meaning a nerd) you don't have to tell anyone anything, inmates will figure things out on their own because they have nothing better to do than to get into other peoples business.

I swear... prisons are worse than a soap opera with all of the gossip. And I am not kidding. This is the straight up truth.

You can tell someone something...anything and it will circulate through the prison usually within about 2 or 3 hours depending on what it is.

But listen. I piggy back what others have said, except with this caveat:

1. He MUST give everyone respect EVEN IF THEY DON"T DESERVE IT! This helped me survive many possible run-ins of trouble.

2. Yes you can keep to yourself, but it would be good to find a friend that you can at least talk to. If you shut yourself off.. that's usually a key indicator that you are trying to hide something.

3. Tell him NOT to get into debt of any kind with another prisoner. People get hurt when you mess with the "Store Man" (you can buy food with postage stamps) I have seen MANY guys have to purposely ask the CO's to goto the SHU because they owe too big of debt. Some men are known for running a debt and goes from prison to prison that way.

4. DO NOT MINGLE WITH KNUCKLEHEADS. That's stands to reason... you don't want to get caught up with them and their troublemaking.

Hope that helps... if you have any questions... just ask.

-In His Steps

We were blessed my hubby went to county. There were 2 guys who gave him a bit of trouble at first but one of our old family friends landed himself in the same unit on a child support thing. When he found out they were causing trouble and why he spoke up. Turns out that once those 2 guys heard the whole story and my BIL's name mentioned, they quickly changed their tune.
One of the benefits of living in a small rural area I guess. MY BIL has burned so many people

IntheStepsofjesus,

You are spot on with your description of prison and the way to handle yourself there. DO NOT underestimated the respect aspect. In prison, everyone is broke, eating slop, and not living very well; so the only thing they have left is respect. I have seen guys get stabbed for having a radio too loud.

The guys in prison that do well---even with sex charges----are not the rough, touch guys like Mike Tyson, but rather guys that carry themselves well and know how to handle and communicate with others.

And yes, the state prisons are the worst. Really scummy inmates and a whole lot of knuckleheads. He will learn who to stay away from as they are always getting into trouble and are a "heat wave."

One thing to remember is this----in this country over the years, thousands upon thousands of men and women have gone to prison and 99% of them came out fine. There is no reason in the world that your husband cannot do the same.

He will do fine.

rewdiazepam

My son was in general population and he was fine.

I know you are really afraid. I can remember times when this first started when I would lie on the couch, unable to move...paralyzed with fear. You get past that. There are possibilities that bad things will happen, but that's also true about walking down the street. Just like walking down the street, you take certain precautions, follow the rules, respect others and your chances of getting hit by a truck are reduced dramatically. My husband has followed those rules and he's really done alright for himself.

The other thing your husband has going for him is his age. They don't like old guys in the prisons. Too much medical care. In my state, older guys tend to get lighter sentences, or at least longer probations on the outside in exchange for prison time.

Hang in there. Nobody isn't saying that what you are going through isn't totally awful. it is! But, its also doable and more likely than not, he will not be in prison at 75.

nakohichi....yes Coleman Low unit A...got out in 2003