Families of SOs Community Group
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I am the new girlfriend of a sex offender here in Michigan that was wrongfully accused and sent to prison for 2 years. He is out and did another 2 years of probation after getting out. He still has to verify every 6 months. I have known this man for 28 years and I know he did not do the crime he was accused of. I have been part of this man's extended family, by means of family friend, for the entire 28 years and we just recently decided to explore the feelings we have had for several years for each other. He has had trouble the past 2 and a half years with finding any kind of employment. There is one place that has given him a chance for the past 3 summers. However, 2 months of work leaves him depressed and wanting more the other 10 months of the year. The stigma for SO's here is not that horrible publicly but in the job market it is really bad. Housing is another issue all together. We have been trying to find just a small 1 bedroom to move into and because he is on the registry he is not allowed to live in any of the apartment complexes around us. I am desperate to find us a suitible living arrangement and help him with getting some sort of job. Does anyone know of anywhere that is good to SO's in Michigan?? Do we need to move to another state to make life happen?? I am just not sure what to do. I have family in Florida that told me to move us down there but after coming across this site, I am thinking that Florida would be worse than here. Please someone with any information help me please. I feel all alone here.
Follow this link and read the entire thread. There is a wealth of knowledge their regarding the better states for registered sex offenders.
https://tinyurl.com/yaw2bsyj
Stay out of Florida at all costs. Florida has some really mean-spirited people and they hate sex offenders with a passion. Each legislative session brings more ridiculous and burdensome laws to restrict registrants and there is no end in sight. The worst part about the new laws in Florida is that they are applied retroactively to everyone regardless of the date of their offense.
The Bible Belt states are all off limits except maybe for Georgia.
You are not alone in your situation. There are many people who are dealing with the registry, but most just suffer in silence. There are so very wise and compassionate people on this board who can make you feel better about your plight.
We do NOT judge nor do we RIDICULE anyone. There is no judgment on this forum as we all have either gone through your ordeal or are just starting their journey as the loved on of a registrant.
I don’t know anything about the employment situation in Michigan, but I do know that Michigan will have to rewrite their sex offender registry and its restrictions due to a Sixth Circuit Federal Court ruling. They have no rewritten it yet, but at some point, they will have to comply with the court ruling. And when it is rewritten, it will not be so burdensome to registrants and their families.
https://tinyurl.com/ycn6kc55
You want a state where the cost-of-living is reasonable, but there is employment available. A bonus would be if there were no residency restrictions.
Nebraska is a fairly decent state. A mother told me that the cost of living there was very reasonable. Oregon may be the best state for sex offenders, but the cost of living is rather high.
Stay away from Wisconsin, Iowa, Indiana, and Illinois at all costs. Ohio is not bad, but Kentucky and Tennessee are terrible. And it goes without saying that states like Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama are bad places for registrants.
Ohio is not bad and neither is Pennsylvania. Stay away from North Carolina; it is a hellhole for registrants.
@itiswhatitis,
I called one of my contacts in Texas. She said in Texas that it depends on the county, as some counties are lenient and some are very strict.
Read the thread for which I provided a link. Within that thread are more links.
Message me if you are confused.
rewdiazepam
https://tinyurl.com/y73wmcw7
rewdiazepam
I am so damn happy for you and your BF. I am a guy but I do support work in prison reform and for those on the sex offender registry.
If there is one piece of advice I give to the mothers, the wives, the GFs, and the families of offenders, it is to “Take one day at a time.”
You have scored a huge victory with him finding employment, so for a couple of days try to celebrate. I don’t know what you do for celebrations, but get yourself some champagne, throw you and your BF a party, or do something that truly makes you happy. This is a time to rejoice.
Celebrate and take your mind off your situation for a few days. Why? The human body and mind is not equipped to worry and stress day in and day out on a 24/7 basis, so give your mind some rest. Some folks make the mistake of never giving their weary body a rest and the situation consumes them, which could cause a mental meltdown or a depressive state.
Now that you have slayed one dragon, after you relax for a few days, find the house or whatever so you and your BF can live and have a happy life together.
rewdiazepam
Thank you for the encouragement. We did celebrate for almost a week. Then he got his first pay check and we celebrated again! You are so very right about needing to take time away from the mundane of stress and worry. We try to spend at least one day a week without stress by getting away from everything including our phones to give us a day to recharge.
We have had a development on the home front. My daughter's landlord had a one bedroom apartment open up and he is going to rent it to us. So my boyfriend and I are going to be moving into "our" first place together this weekend. I must say that this process has not been easy but I have never given up! I have gotten down and have said that I want to give up but, I have yet to actually throw in the towel. A few things I have learned along the way are patience, humility, and perseverance.
The small things in life are what matter most. When two people love each other, and they are both willing to sacrifice for the other anything is possible.
Congrats to you both!
Unfortunately, housing is a different issue