Some of the replies are just painfully awful. I'd bet that there are a hundred that boil down to "how dare you sickos try to treat this like an illness."

Fortunately there are some notable exceptions.

Those comments are a show of ignorance. Most people don't even know what pedophilia really is. That was a major point of the article. The only think most people seem to know is that it is something they are supposed to hate.

Peek - it is a good article. I read it back when it came out. Part of the problem is that the "P" word is so negatively charged that even mentioning it makes people's skin crawl (particularly parents). I think that is part of the hype of the registry in general and the media generated frenzy in particular.

There is a huge difference between recognizing what/who you are and acting out upon your feelings. Too many do not want to see the difference.

Yeah, its really a very tangled up mess. Some pedophiles call themselves "Minor Attracted Persons" or MAPs. You're so right, Brain, that the word pedophile has become so grossly distorted. Frankly, I put the responsibility for that squarely in the hands of the behavioral science professions that rejected studying and learning to treat this phenomenon 40 or so years ago. Even now, psychiatrists actually define pedophilia as an illness only when it causes distress. It is actually the distress that is the illness. Otherwise, pedophilia, according to DSM-V, is completely normal--ie, a naturally occurring form of sexual attraction. This is confusing to most people. It is certainly unimaginable for those of us who do not have this attraction to think that it could even be possible for this to be part of human nature, but it is.

Europeans are doing much better at prevention, meaning helping those who have the attraction to get the support they need not to offend. We have to start thinking that way in this country, too. It is really the only effective way to reduce the incidence of child molestation (i.e., save children) besides the awareness types of campaigns from organizations like STOPITNOW!.

i, frankly, don't think that we can afford to keep playing these hate games with the safety of our kids. Those kinds of comments are the result of people being unable to think through the consequences of failing to deal effectively with this issue. Pedophilia doesn't go away because you lock up some guy and punish him for life because he was unable to control his impulses. Pedophilia doesn't go away...period. You lock up one guy, there will always be the next guy who has had no opportunity to learn to cope and makes the mistake that changes so many lives. Its just a vicious cycle. Undealt with, this issue just keeps playing itself out.

However, in places like Germany and the Netherlands, people with impulses toward sexual attraction to children are openly invited to get help. I would think that it is a very difficult thing to prove statistically that child abuse was prevented through these programs. But it would be easy to prove that those individuals who sought help were assisted to control their impulses and desires and NOT harm children. I think this would be quite valuable, actually.

So, hateful comments are always going to be there. The only way to disarm that level of ignorance is to move positively ahead with ideas and actions to change the situation for the REAL work of protecting children. Eventually, the lack of value in those hateful attitudes will be demonstrated somehow. Yeah, it might not be in our lifetimes, but I think its important not to give in to negativity of the masses. After all, it may not save "just one child", but many, many children.

In prison I celled with a clinically diagnosed pedophile for about six months.

He was a very nice guy, never gave me any problems, was respectful and one of the best cellmates I ever had.

My impression of him was that he was definitely different. He was not attracted to women and he certainly was not gay and attracted to men. His preference was for girls around the age of 10 years old. Now before any of you get nauseous and disgusted, please read further.

A pedophile loves the child he is attracted to. He actually LOVES them just as much as a guy loves his girlfriend or a woman loves her husband---and vice versa.

Pedophiles are not child molesters nor do they physically abuse children. They love them and will not do anything to hurt them. He told me once that "I have an illness; I know that, but I would never do anything to hurt a child."

Pedophiles hate child molesters.

Of course, he never got into any arguments with other inmates, never went to the gym or watched NFL football like many of the guys. Most of the straight inmates liked to watch reruns of Baywatch with Pamela Anderson and all her friends. My cellmate was never interested in things that normal guys liked.

I would come in from work and he would be watching TV, but it would be Nikelodean or something like a Sesame Street type program.

But other than enjoying kids programs, he was fairly normal.

He once explained to me that "his problem"----I never heard him use the word "pedophile"----led him to wanting to be around children and preferring their company to adults. He told me he tried marriage once, but it just did not work.

Some of you might be wondering what he was in prison for. He had a gambling problem, namely bingo and the slots at Las Vegas; in fact, he had been to Vegas many times. He stole a power drill out of a store and got caught to support his gambling habit. He had done this many times before, so they sent him to prison for a five year sentence.

I respected him and he respected me. He was a cool guy.

rewdiazepam

PS One thing funny about him is that he had an obsession with Meyer Lansky, one of the old time mafia guys in the mob. He would read all he could about that guy. He liked---really almost worshipped him----because Mr. Lansky had ties to underworld gambling in Las Vegas.

Good points, REW. You have described what pedophiles actually are very well.

Child molesting tends to occur because of some sort of distress...and child molesters do not have to be pedophiles. To keep those who are at risk of offending from getting help is the real crime. Things have to change.

I haven't heard the name Meyer Lansky in years. I has an older half brother (33 years older than me and passed away 1999...my dad was born in 1919 and 19 years older than my mom and I wasn't born till she was 35
Anyway my brother spent most of his life in Vegas working as a shill in high stakes poker rooms. He practically lived and breathed Vegas history and would talk about what it was like when he first moved there inthe late 50's after the mob went "underground". He would often tell stories he'd heard from some of the old timers. It was quite...colorful.

Where is thoughtasweak, I thought she'd be all over this post!

Meyer Lansky?

I think child molesting is a crime of power much like rape, yes?

Or a crime of opportunity - a socially awkward person or father/uncle frustrated with life and acting on base desires with the easiest target available.

So I agree that most child molesters are not really the 'p' word. And that is also the reason they usually don't reoffend. They aren't lusting after kids. It was either power or some other emotion they were acting on.

Peek,

Just go to Google and type in Meyer Lansky.

He was an old time gangster and Mafia member that stayed out in Las Vegas; Meyer was a REAL criminal and a REAL gangster. He made John Gotti look like an amateur.

Anyway my friend worshipped him to the point that our cell had Meyer Lansky pictures everywhere. Most of the young inmates never even heard of him.

One time during a shakedown, a young CO saw one of those pictures and asked my cellie who the guy in the picture was. My cellie told him he was his brother. I just cringed, but he was a funny guy.

rewdiazepam

IvyDog, You've made some good points. It will be interesting when academia in this county actually takes pedophilia seriously and the myths are shattered by real research. Its amazing to me how deep the ignorance goes. I've had to be under mental health care ever since this mess happened in my family. The first psychiatrist I had told me that all child molesters had multiple victims and that I should be aware that there were probably at least 50 other victims! The one I go to now just told me at my last visit that all pedophiles were destined to molest children. These are ignorant myths coming from highly educated men who have a strong influence over others, too.

To the credit of the guy I go to now, he admits that nobody really knows the truth about pedophiles because nobody will pay for the research. This is true, at least in this country. Europeans are far ahead of us. Project Dunkelfeld has been around for about 10 years. It'd be nice if some English speaking person had the guts to request to study and write about it. But, I guess, so far nobody has paid for it.

Here are some other things my cell mate confided to me-----

One does not choose to be a pedophile; pedophiles have an inherent attraction to children.

Pedophiles continually struggle with their sexual preference. The great majority do not want to be pedophiles.

Not all pedophiles will molest children and very few child molesters are pedophiles.

Child molesters are criminals; being diagnosed with pedophilia is not criminal in nature.

The general public and the media have no idea of the definition of pedophilia----and they don't want to learn. The "ick" factor they feel when they think of sex and children is too much for them to handle, so they continue to be "willfully ignorant."

This state of "willful ignorance" is a phenomenon you see a lot dealing with sex crimes.

When I was in prison I always watched the inmates and learned a lot about human behavior and nobody was as interesting as the couple of pedophiles I met.

rewdiazepam

Ditto on the idea of "willful ignorance." That was one of the things that shocked me the most when I first got involved in this mess. While claiming they were protecting children, so many people I met were just projecting their hatred. No one was willing to look at the truth. Even people doing the very good work of teaching people to watch for the signs of abuse and teaching children about good touch-bad touch were still projecting hatred. Blind hatred, i.e.. willful ignorance.

The "ick" factor is certainly a part of that, but beyond that, since this blind hatred is so pervasive, I think there must be an evolutionary reason for it. There is a lot of new literature about the connections between social behavior and brain function. Banishment from the social group is one of the worst things that can happen to somebody. If thought of in terms of tribalism, to be banished from the tribe was almost certain death for all but the very small portion of human history that we live in now.

A lot of people think that evolution is ended. Far from it. But its not the kind of evolution you think of with hairy apes and all that stuff. Its really more of an evolution to go beyond the innate programming that is physiologically imprinted in our bodies and brains. The only way to do this is through increased awareness, i.e., frontal lobe activity where we NOTICE what is going on and make a conscious decision to change.

So, I think the "ick" factor is very real. I experience it myself, but I made a conscious decision to move beyond it because I had a really good reason to do it. Had this not touched me personally, I probably wouldn't have put in the effort to change my mind, although I never would have been someone to write horrible, brainless, spineless, stomach-churning comments at the end of a thoughtful blog or article anyway.

If people could only stop long enough to look at what they are doing by choosing ignorance! If people could see the damage done to families, society and CHILDREN, perhaps some of this could be worked through. But the truth is, to make a change that big, people would have to have a reason to care. Right now the choice to be ignorant (evolutionally driven by the need to have someone to hate) is much stronger than the willingness to see the damage that it causes.

And guess who is hurt the most--the very people the haters claim that they are protecting.

But, you know what? I am a Pollyanna. I believe that eventually this will turn around and people will understand. After all, 10 years ago I predicted to a gay friend of mine that gay marriage would be accepted in society in 10 years...look at where we are now!

My prediction on pedophiles? It will take longer because the laws are so entrenched, but i predict that in 10 years we will be seeing (not acceptance--I don't think that will ever happen) a reasonable understanding of what pedophilia actually is and appropriate ways to integrate people born with this preference into society. This movement will be led by Europeans. Actually, they ARE already leading the way. Americans just haven't caught on yet.

Yes I have read a little about pedophilia as well. I do know that true pedophiles feel the way you describe Peek. A huge problem is that the media (again) has for a long time has used the word to describe any child molester. I scream at the TV when I hear them do that - it truly drives me crazy! People just do not understand that many many true pedophiles never act on their desires becasue they know it is wrong. Others, I hear, seek out partners that are small and have features of children but are adults. Here is a question you may know the answer to - are there any female diagnosed pedophiles? I have never heard of it but it would be odd if there isn't I would find it interesting to see some actually numbers of molestation cases that were perpetrated by actual clinically diagnosed pedophiles - that is a statistic I would like to keep. I think some of the comments to the article is becasue in peoples minds that are associating the illness with molestation - and there you have it.