Rew... I couldn't agree with you more. Our society has become so paranoid over sex offenders that all it takes is an accusation. Bad enough if you're not registered but hugely different if you are.

I had a neighbor who's children I loved. They were fairly poor so I insured the 2 children had Christmas presents for about 3 years. Not much, things like snow sleds, balls, outdoor toys. They weren't married and they had a violent breakup. The mother's daughter was convinced by her mother that her boyfriend molested her to get back at her boyfriend. He went through 30 days in jail and 2 hung jury trials before the state's attorney and public defender decided the costs expended were too much to try for a 3rd trial.

I knew this child during this period taking her and her brother swimming, to children's museum, movies, etc and never saw any signs at all..... I don't believe it ever happened. I know her boyfriend well and are still friends today. The children are now both almost 20. Their mother still tries to contact me but I won't respond. (she knows my status.)

I know that some children know enough to make false accusations to get their revenge and I'm sure it's happening today. Very sad state we live in....

It saddens me greatly that I can never show generosity like that again..... Because I love children.

Read these articles
http://m.christianpost.com/news/judge-n-c-law-barring-sex-offenders-from-church-unconstitutional--42330/
http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2010/january/nc-court-upholds-sex-offenders-right-to-worship.html?paging=off

I so agree with all three of you (Independant, Rew and Free). That as registrants, you should never put yourself in a situation where you can be falsely accused, but that is different than being allowed to be where children congregate. You should be able to go to a park with your family, you should be able to take your family to a McDinalds where there is a play yard, so your kids can play while you and your significant other is sitting with you.

Church's do have a lot of policies to help ensure that the children in their care is safe. And the churches that I have attended, have excellent procedures in place to help make sure they remain sage.

Rew - x3 on your perspective. It is the same way I have lived since everything started in my life, and I may have said the same here in earlier posts.

XSO's need to live as if their every personal contact could be recorded. It's sad that I feel that I have to live that way, but I cannot afford the consequences if something gets said. XSO's will be presumed guilty if an accusation is leveled against them. I have never been to a swimming pool in 10+ years. I avoid going to the beach for the same reason. I don't do amusement parks.

In regards of church, I worked that out 10+ years ago. In that situation, the rector of the church didn't feel that advising the entire congregation was the best course of action. He did advise other clergy and certain vestry members. I have told a few certain people over time. I do go to the 7:30AM service. I may stay for sharing coffee afterwards but I have stopped going to the adult forum at 9:45 because the church is very busy. No, I am not attracted to children. I just play it safe.

If I go to a park (and I do) - I never go alone. In other words, have someone that can provide an alibi with you. Shopping - I do that alone, but I try to go when stores open just because I dislike jammed parking lots and crazy customers. (I am also an early riser). Same thing goes with the movies - never alone and always sit next to the aisle. That's just the safe thing to do. (or sit between two other adults).

The downside of this entire process is that I have few close friends. I have a lot of associates. I have a core support group of people that are aware of my other issues. I also suspect that most of my AA friends know, not because I have told them, but because I have had them over at my house for parties (Super Bowl, etc)and they probably Googled the address. So far, none of my AA friends have said anything, but they do accept me for who I am today. My sponsor knows that I am registered.

I guess the takeaway is that my entire social life and personal activities are guided by the aspect of avoiding situations that could cause an accusation.

I know we shouldn't have to live like this, our debt is paid, but it is the only intelligent way to live if you are or have ever been on the registry.

Please do not think you are a special circumstance, that your crime is different. It very well maybe, but rhe politicians, courts, DA's, police, they don't care. You need to minimize your risk at all times of even being falsely accused.

Ruling from State

I hope my so can find a way to worship with others

I am afraid it is true, many main-stream churchs do exclude SO's/SP's from attending. We found a prison ministry that ran a half-way house that REQUIRED church attendance but some of their beliefs were not exactly main-stream and in the end we couldn't continue to worship there due to the basic philosophical difference.