Your son is on probation and sex offender probation is very intrusive and difficult. Right now, his PO will be God to him. He needs to follow every rule, every instruction given by the PO to the letter. It will be tough at first, but when the PO sees that he is not a troublemaker and only trying to follow the rules, the PO will ease up a bit. All POs are tough in the beginning as they know very little about the offender. A PO has a tremendous case load and after a while, he will ease up on your son.

He can still function in society, but he will have to have the POs permission to do most things. If you are not sure it is OK, call the PO to make sure.

He may or may not have a curfew in the beginning, but the PO will probably work around his job. At least he has a job, which is a Godsend.

Most all POs allow their probationers to shop and go to restaurants. After all, your son may have a curfew in the beginning, but is NOT on house arrest.

A person on probation or parole has not Fourth Amendment protection against searches or seizures, which means the PO can walk into your house at any time---day or night----and start looking around like they own the place. They don’t usually do that very often, but they can. The best thing is for your son to be such a squeaky clean probationer that the PO has not reason to started nosing around.

He will have to follow the rules of the registry as well as the rules laid out by the probation department. One thing I want to mention is that the PO is only an officer of the court to carry out the court orders. While a PO has a great amount of latitude to make and enforce the rules, he does NOT have the final say----the judge does. He does not make all the rules, he only enforces the court orders, which includes the rules of probation.

But your son would be very wise to do as the PO says unless it is something totally ridiculous. And then do it even if it is ridiculous. You can fight it later in court.

You asked, “Can he go to restaurants, grocery stores, WalMart?:

He can if the PO gives him permission, which he probably will as I stated earlier. POs realize that guys have to eat and buy groceries and they have to shop for things.

You said, “He has to stay away from children gather.... And I understand parks, pools, playgrounds etc but what about the beach?”

He has to stay away particularly where children are known to congregate. Of course, he cannot totally avoid children all the time, as kids are everywhere. Kids will be at Wal Mart, but he can most likely shop there. The PO will not have a problem with incidental contact with children, as it cannot be avoided.

Being around schools, daycare centers, parks, and playgrounds are a definite no-no. The PO would go ballistic if your son goes even closed to one of those places. The PO may or may not ban him from the library at first. I have even heard of POs not allowing a probationer to go to McDonalds since they have a playground section for kids. When in doubt, CALL THE PO and ask.

You asked, “What about the movie theater?”

He probably cannot go to a movie theater in the beginning, as there are too many children there. Maybe later, and he may only be able to go when the late feature plays.

You said, “He's not a drinker so no alcohol won't affect him but how can he keep from going to a dark place if he has to remain home?”

Also make sure all the guns---firearms---are out of the house. Ditto for any alcoholic beverages, even beer. I would also give him a living area within your house---if he lives with you---and make sure there are NO pictures of minors, even his family, within that area. I am sure he will not have computer access for a while. Maybe later with some software monitoring programs installed, but because of the nature of his crime, keep him off the internet.

Trust me, probation is much better than prison. As I said, he can do most of his day-to-day things that most of us do----get a haircut, go shopping, buy groceries, etc. He can have friends over or go over to their house, but he must have permission from most POs before he gets into a relationship or marries. I know that is stupid, but that is how it is. The PO will control his life for a while.

I have given you an idea of what he might not be able to do, but it will vary with each PO. Talk to your PO and make sure you understand all the rules.

But he can have decent food, a decent place to sleep, and a TV to watch; which is something you don’t have in prison. He can shower as much as he wants. He can do most of the little things that inmates take for granted until they go to prison.

Yes, this will be difficult at first, but at the halfway mark in about three or four years he can petition the court for a modification or termination of his probation.

I think you would be better served to concentrate on the fact that he was not sent to prison. Yes, the charges and conviction was uncalled for, but we cannot undo those things.

He will find his way, but I would advise to take everything very carefully and take it slow in the beginning. The PO is not there to revoke him, so he will be fine.

He WILL get through this, and so will you, mom. This is DOABLE. Notice I did not say pleasant or fun, but DOABLE.

Keep in touch,

rewdiazepam

Thank you for the info. He was arrested in 2013 and has had no electronics that connect to the internet since then. I pay all of his bills online and I maintained an email address just for those accounts and for job applications... He is an over the road truck driver so I'm fearing that restriction even though the DA actually called the probation officer to see how we can work around that. He's been doing it for a year now and honestly he's self tracked more than anyone else due to federal DOT regulations that make them log their every move and stop.... Soon it will actually be electronic ad they just passed a new law mandating electronic logs in semi trucks. My son is a good kid who got a bad wrap. Following instructions will not be difficult he's easy going and respects authority, we all just want to get on with our lives.

One thing I question is will they search our whole house or just his room? I have a computer room for our business but it is and has been locked when we are not in there for the last four years. Keys are nowhere in the house, they go with us when we leave....I never wanted him to be accused of accessing it when we weren't home if he was here alone. I'm hoping he will be the model probationer.

They will search any room he has access to as in kitchen, living room, bathroom etc. Your bedroom no and your computer room as long as the door is locked it should be fine. They can come anytime so it is a little unnerving.

Ok when the po came to our place (drove me nuts) she went in every room to check it out she didn't go through our stuff but she did look in every room just to make sure there was no kids or kids toys or anything to do with kids in the house.... she use to spend a stupid amount of time in the bathroom dont know why seeing that its tiny!