Families of SOs Community Group
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Hi everyone. My boyfriend of 10 years is a registered sex offender, level 1, and we live in Oklahoma City. His is a federal charge, and he was incarcerated for about 2.5 years, went through and graduated from the RDAP program, and has been out on parole Since fall of 2015. His family is amazing, and have been incredibly supportive through this entire ordeal.
...ordeal... that's the understatement of the century. I thought him being in prison was the worst thing in the world at the time, and it was definitely very difficult, but honestly its got nothing on the difficulties attached to being a felon and sex offender out in the world. He's having a lot of trouble still with the fact that he gets judged by his label instead of his abilities and just himself as a person.
After he got out of prison he spent 6 mo in a halfway house and found a job. His folks found a house in the green zone here in OKC (only like 9 or 16% of the city is acceptable for the residency restrictions on sex offenders), and bought it for us to rent. Like I said, they are amazing people and incredibly supportive of him and me.
Over the last 3 years, he has missed a couple ua's due to just forgetting call to check for his color and admittedly drank a few times- a no no for his parole. All in all though, he's been doing really well I think. He got a job within 6 weeks of getting out of prison and has held it for the past 3 years with no problems. He's also gone back to college and will be graduating with an associates degree in chemistry this winter. He's trying so hard to better his life.
Then this summer his PO came for a home visit on one of those few times he'd had a few drinks- wasn't drunk, but surely tipsy. He was already on his PO's *bleep* list for the afore mentioned infractions, so he has had to go back to the halfway house for another 6 months. A spot just opened for him a couple weeks ago, so he's only a short time into his stay there. Its already getting to him big time though. For the last several months, since his associate's degree became imminant(sp?) instead of eventual, he's been sending out his resume like mad to try and get a job in the field he has wanted for years. Just this past week he had to cancel an already rescheduled second interview with a company he was really excited about because they halfway house would not approve his pass to go.
He's feeling like they are going to ruin everything he's worked for the last couple years. I try to tell him that there will be other jobs and other interviews, but the bitter anger and dissapointment are still to fresh for him to really want to listen. He's not acting out/missing work/being disrespectful to the staff there/ breaking rules, but the defeated frustration is almost palpable when I talk to him.
In addition to all that, there is the chance that he might not be allowed to move back into our house when his 6 months is up. After we moved in here, a daycare opened close enough for the people at the registration place to say this address isn't okay anymore, even though my boyfriend is listed as one of the owners on the warranty deed. I'm thinking of hiring a surveyor to get an exact distance from our property line to the daycare's property line though, its that close to the 2000' mark. We're also looking into a lawyer, because from we've been able to muddle out of the legalese in the statutes on SO residency restrictions, if the SO has a vested interest in the property, he should be able to move back into it.
I'm just at my wits end. I'm in a constant state of anxiety and worry over his mental state and the possibility of having to find a new place to live. I absolutely love this house. Its just such a great layout for our situation. I've finally got a lot of the yard planted with flowers like I want, and grow hot peppers and herbs in my garden. There is a spare room that he has for his "lab", and another that I have for my office. There's even a door out to the backyard in the master bedroom so the dogs have a quick out for their morning potty break.
Sorry, got a little off topic there. I just feel so lost right now. I don't know how to console him, so just am trying to remain as supportive as possible. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about all this because while some friends and our families are aware of our situation, being aware and understanding what we're actually going through are two totally different beasts.
I'm so happy to have found this group. To have found a community of people who do understand what we're going through. I look forward to getting to know you all better.
If anyone has any advise on the whole residency issue, or any Oklahoma sex offender rights attorny recommendations, that would surely be much appreciated too!
Thanks all for being here
K
I usually post regularly at this forum, several other sex offender support forums, and some prison reform forums; I have worked in support of sex offenders and their families and inmates for almost 20 years, having served almost a decade in an Oklahoma prison on a false rape charge and 13 years on the sex offender registry in Oklahoma. But I am just trying to recover from double pneumonia which progressed into a septic condition----basically blood poisoning. But I see that you need some answers and I have a few spare minutes tonight, so let’s see what we can do.
I have lived in Oklahoma all my life.
You said that his was a federal charge and he was out on parole. I think you mean he is out on probation or some form of supervised release as there is no parole in the federal system. Parole in the federal system was abolished in the Reagan administrations so there is no parole for federal inmates.
You also have to understand that since he is on probation or supervised release for a federal offense, he is still under the custody of the BOP---Bureau of Prisons----and he has certain probation stipulations and restrictions mandated by his federal PO over and above those of the registry. So, in effect, he is still serving his sentence except he is serving it on the outside on probation instead of serving it in prison. He will not be entirely free from the BOP until he completes his probation term, at which time he will have completed his court mandated sentence.
Let’s address the residency restrictions first. The Oklahoma statute regarding residency restrictions for sex offenders is here----
https://tinyurl.com/y73hejeh
You can read the entire statute, but the part of the statute that applies to you and your BF is as follows--------------
“ESTABLISHMENT OF A DAY CARE CENTER OR PARK IN THE VICINITY OF THE RESIDENCE OF A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER WILL NOT REQUIRE THE RELOCATION OF THE SEX OFFENDER OR THE SALE OF THE PROPERTY.”
In other words, any daycare center or park established in the vicinity AFTER the offender has established residency cannot force an offender to move, since he was there first.
You also said, “if the SO has a vested interest in the property, he should be able to move back into it.”
Here is what the statute says about that situation-----
“NOTHING IN THIS PROVISION SHALL REQUIRE ANY PERSON TO SELL OR OTHERWISE DISPOSE OF ANY REAL ESTATE OR HOME ACQUIRED OR OWNED PRIOR TO THE CONVICTION OF THE PERSON AS A SEX OFFENDER.”
This would be fine, but he did not own the property prior to his conviction.
But the problem is this: He is still on probation and the federal PO can tell him where he can and cannot live regardless of Oklahoma law since he is under the custody of the BOP as long as he is on probation.
If he was not on probation, then no, nobody could prevent him from living there, but since he is on probation, then yes, the PO can---if he or she wants---to not allow him to move back into the house.
So right now it is pretty cut and dried regarding the residency requirement. If he can convince the PO to allow him to live there, then Oklahoma cannot prevent him from moving back in regardless of what the registration office may or may not have told you folks.
But, since he has had several problems with alcohol with the PO, I doubt the PO will allow him to live there. If he had a perfect record and a great relationship with the PO, the PO might allow him to live there, but under the circumstances, I doubt it.
Also, if he had a perfect clean record, once he has finished about half of his probation period, he could petition the court for a termination or modification of his probation and have it shortened. But with the infractions, I don’t think the PO will allow that.
How long is his probation period???
Since I am ALWAYS in support of the offender----and I hate the system----I usually try to help people solve their problems or at least give them options.
Right now he needs to somehow establish a decent relationship with this PO. At some point, his PO may allow him to move back into the house, but until the PO does, I don’t see any way he can live there while he is on probation. If at some point, he can get the POs blessing to have his probation terminated, then once terminated, he can live there for sure.
The only other possible avenue is that he could petition the court to allow him to live there, which would basically be going over the POs head. After all the PO does not make the rules of probation, but he or she is rather an officer of the court and his or her job is to see that the rules of probation as set out by the court and the government are followed. I don’t think petitioning the court will be successful b/c of his alcohol problems.
While I am always on the offender’s side and am never judgmental, you have to understand that this alcohol mess and the halfway house is his own doing. He keeps shooting himself in the foot. Maybe he should think about getting some help with his alcohol problem. Trust me, anyone who knows me knows that I am never judgmental or critical of any offender, but he does need to address his alcohol problem while he is on probation.
He is going to have to “gut it out” and get through the halfway house situation and then attempt to make amends with his PO.
I am happy to help you folks in any way possible. You can either reply to this thread or you can message me.
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