Good morning,

I think you're very wise to be considering this and the impact it will have. In a similar situation, my wife needed to move from GA to PA for support. I'm struggling to get transferred up there to be with them. However, ultimately I still won't be able to live with them because of the stigma. As an aside, my wife lives with her sister and her partner. So Richard would be living with lesbians AND a registrant. LOL. Our society has become at least tolerant of LGBTs. But certainly not registrants regardless of the circumstances.

I personally think you should have the kid. I don't think you should hold off just because of this. But be sure to get clearance from your handlers as to what will happen. It would be awful to conceive and go through all of the pains of that and ultimately be told that you can't be with the kid - this coming from your hubbys perspective.

Best Regards,
Andy

My advice is to find a decent attorney and speak with him regarding your having children.

I think you should have your child. If not, you are allowing the registry to control your life.
You want a child and a child is such an important event in a couple's life. Find a way to have that child!!!

I understand your hesitancy, but once we refuse to have children or decide not to change our last name because of the registry, we have allowed the entire situation to take over our life to the extent that life begins to lose its meaning. This registry will be here to stay for a while, but there are things you can do to mitigate its effects.

Learn to live despite the registry. Enjoy that life, be a mother, and fulfill your dreams.

Don't give in to the registry now or you will begin to live a very miserable existence.

rewdiazepam

I have talked to both his therapist and lawyer and they think we should have a child and we would make great parents. I am not concerned with us but with the child. I don't want to bring a child into a world they will hate and struggle just because of what their father did. I also want my Hubs to be an active dad. I know he can't be as active as we would like (FL restrictions) but I still want him to have a relationship and a good one with his child. We would have to have the child while he is on parole (I am reaching the age that I will no longer be able to have children.) So the lawyer says when he gets out we should have him reevaluated by his therapist and have his therapist write a report to give to his judge and see if the judge will write a variance to let us have a child so he can be involved. His current restrictions for probation are no contact with anyone under 18. Again, the legal stuff doesn't concern me, it's the child's safely and mental health growing up. I do believe my hubs would be a wonderful father. It's everyone else in this world that concerns me.

You could also then say, don't name a boy Richard because he might be called names. Be careful if he is nerdy because he'll be picked on for that. (forgive the gender specifics - could be boy or girl)
Perhaps - he grows up to be the next Janice and is a great warrior for our cause?
Don't condemn the child for living under this umbrella for something that's 10-15 years away. This will likely be very different by then (for better or worse. I hope better)

Andy

I live in Hillsborough County Florida and I have a 14 month old son and just had our second a month ago and my husband is a RSO. We have been married for 6 years and I decided from the beginning that I refused to give up my dream of being a mom because of others. I thought a lot about it. Florida is harsh as hell and we don't plan on staying down here to much longer and want to move before our oldest starts school. None the less. I think back to when I was a kid and never remember ever hearing some kid being made fun of for having a RSO parent. I don't think its as stigmatized as we think for kids, more for the parent. Feel free to contact me if you need someone to talk too. Its hard making friends down here because I worry about getting to close and them having kids and finding out things. That is a struggle itself to worry about friends with kids and them not knowing. I am looking at relocating us to Hernando County though if I can because I am starting work up there soon and its to far of a commute from down here.