Just remember no matter what anyone says, he is your son....and everyone makes mistakes. He needs you right now, as this is probably hard for him to. Talking to him in jail is like talking to him anywhere else...it's just less private, but hopefully this visit, will let him know you are still there for him...and it will let you know that he is okay.

I did that several days ago for the first time. It isn't easy seeing your child with "inmate" stamped across their back but it was so good to see him! He was in a phone booth looking thing with heavy bars behind him and a thick pane of glass between us. I could barely hear him on the phone we had to talk through and the prisoners walking behind him with guards was very terrifying but his spirits were good. We took him clean underclothes and paperback books but he wasn't allowed to see the books. Is he in jail on his way to prison? Mine got 3 yrs and was just transferred yesterday. Let me know how the visit goes. Stay strong! I am with you all the way!

The 1st couple times are hard, esp w/ the glass. I've always left feeling better having been able to look at his face. Now we have contact visits, I hardly even notice anyone else is in the room!

Lilymom is right. I cried so much those first few months. The thick glass, the bars, the doors, the rude staff, the ugly jumpsuit. It does not seem real. One time when I went, I didn't even say anything, I cried the whole time. I couldn't stop.

Now we have contact visits, too. Its much better. He wears denim now. The staff are nice. We can even get food out of vending machines.

There is hope that it will be over someday. But, no matter how much better it gets, when someone you love is in jail, it is still painful.

Sorry you have to go through this. Focus on your breath. Then imagine a waterfall washing the anxiety out of your body and down into a raging river to be taken away. Breath, breath, breath. You will get through this and you will be OK.

Hope you had a good visit with your son.

My son is still in county jail waiting. I try to visit him twice a week. I still feel panic driving onto the jail grounds.
But when I see him and we start talking the 30 min. go way too quick. Some of the guards are rude, I remain polite and try to kill them with kindness. I hope you have a good visit.

Ha! I like the killing w/ kindness thing. I used to get that meanness from a couple of the CO's too. I just remained polite and curtious. They're given up and return my attitude now.

Way to go, LillyMom!

You might not feel lucky, but just being able to see your son and a regular basis must be wonderful. I live far away. The last time I saw my son was when he was chained up. Tears were streaming down my face the entire time. I can now talk to him on the phone but until he's allowed his computer back so we can Skype, the long distance charges are awful.

they are allowed computers in prison?

Thank you all. It went pretty well. He is still in jail. He has a court date Thursday and I got the name of his lawyer, a public defender (?), today and will call him tomorrow to see what his thoughts are. Luckily, my husband was able to go in the room with me. We were separated by a glass and had to talk through a phone, which was kind of hard to hear through at times. He was in a room about the size of a closet, and ours wasn't much bigger. My son has never been a very big talker, so our 30 minute time slot was actually only about 20 minutes or so because we ran out of things to say. But it was good to see him. Saw my daughter-in-law and the grandkids a little later and that was good too. She has her parents visiting right now, so she was in good spirits. All in all, a pretty good day. I may even be able to sleep well tonight. Thanks, everyone!

I think that first visit is a tough one, but it sounds like you got through it with no panic attack. Good for you Reggie1961. I hope the court date goes well on Thursday. Sending good vibes to you and your family--keep us posted.

He never went to prison, just jail. He's out now, following any rule they throw at him.

Wow! when I went for visits in IL jail WE went to room where everyone had 1ft and 1/2 cubical in a row of 15 all talking on the phones to our prisoners who are in the same building just a different floor. Its had to hear and when you looked at the monitor the other person sees the top of your head. when you put up your head to the camera you cant see them! so you have to take turns looking and talking.so both of you can see each other and no computers and yes for soft cover books.

any way Reggie welcome and focus on breathing. maybe mark on paper things you are wanting to talk about in case you get nervous and get forgetful always help me.