Families of SOs Community Group
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Today has been an up and down day. It's been 5 weeks and two days since my husband got arrested. Our kids were on spring break this week, and I couldn't do anything with them, since I had to work more hours. I'm grateful to have gotten more hours at work, but feel horrible not being able to spend as much time with the kids like they are used to. It's probably harder on me than on them.
i feel like my husband left us all alone. I am not even from this country, and dealing with all this official stuff is scary and confusing. He was able to call today to try and walk me through finish doing our income taxes. I got so frustrate at something that I cried and told him that he left us all alone. I try not to cry when he calls, as I know that he faces challenges just like I face challenges; they are just different.
trying to find a full time job that would afford us to stay in our house is taking longer than I thought as well. In the beginning i put my hope on the fact that four eels from then things should look better. But the only thing that has really changed is that the feeling of numbness and panic are just irregular visitors now, instead of a constant state of being, I know we don't qualify for any government assistance, and I don't have a full time job yet.
I am still trying to focus on the positive things, and I am trying to stay in the moment.
If you ever need to talk or ask questions, please feel free to contact me. I try to be a resource to show that people...offenders AND families...do get through this kind of thing!
At first we were sure he would go to prison, because the evidence against him was irrefutable and plentiful. But with the help of a good lawyer, who got lots of character witnesses to write letters and show up at the sentencing, he only got probation. It was four years after his arrest that he was convicted, and due to appeals, his probation still hasn't started. So all this time he's been in limbo, unable to work, and being supported by my parents. (And the legal fees keep coming.) Even after all this time, new people in his life still keep finding out. He just got kicked out of a gym the other day, when the owner emailed him and said that a member had tipped them off about his case.
Recently, however, there was a bright spot: he found a support group that works to change registration laws. He's going to attend his first meeting soon. He had a very encouraging phone conversation with the lady who runs it, whose son was in prison for years. The group seems like it will be a great resource, both for moral support and for tips on surviving in the world, while branded an outcast. Up until he found this group, my brother was the only one he knew who'd been through this.
This experience is so isolating for everyone involved, that reaching out to others in the same boat, as you have done, is key. At this point I'm convinced that the only way for us to escape this toxic cloud over our families is to band together to change laws and public perception. I hope through sites like this and in-person support groups, there can be enough strength in numbers to accomplish that.
Good luck and please keep us posted.