I don't have the answers to how to deal with your difficult PO, but I do know you are normal to feel so much pain. The "system" is making a "victim" out of YOU, just as much as they believe your partner victimized that woman.

Not being able to concentrate is one of the symptoms of depression and it the main reason I got on prescription anti-depresants over three years ago. I had to be able to focus on my job. Those meds really helped me cope with having first one son and then another convicted of sex offenses and put in prison.

But, for me, it has gotten better. My sons are still in prison, but I've been able to visit them, receive calls from them, and communicate with them by email on a regular basis, so they and I are coping well.

I retired about five months ago, which reduced my stress level a lot. I also have been off the meds for almost two months and I'm able to function just fine.

There will always be the nightmare to deal with, but I'm coping one day at a time.

I would recommend you visit your doctor and ask for some help in the form of anti-depressants. Also, if you can afford it or get it paid for by your job, a few counselling sessions might help.

And, even though your user name is goalone, you are not alone. Thank you for trusting us to carry your burden with you. (((HUGS)))

We are strong only because we have been going through this a little longer than you. Each of us have a different point as to when we to become stronger. Honest is correct, the system makes a victim out of all of us. If you don't believe the "victim" then your a bad person is their thought process, but they don't know the true victim when it comes to these false allegations.

A lot of us have had to go on anti-depressants in order to help us cope. I couldn't function until I recieved meds. This is a long journey, but you will go through this. I know the holidays will be hard not being able to spend them with him; I too am in that same boat. Can't visit him on the holidays because he's so far away and I would sacrifice time with our kids.

Just take it one day at a time, and you will wake up one morning feeling stronger again.

Honest and Thoughtas are so right. You are not alone. We are all here to support each other. Please do contact your Dr. to get help for your depression. It is a medical condition. There is no shame in taking medication for depression. I just started counseling, my second appt is today. My situation is involving my 2 sons. One is the SO and in prison for the second time. The other was one of his victims as a child. The other victims are his own children. We are all struggling and this group is a huge help.

All the responses have been spot on. Antidepressants do help in many instances. There is no reason to endure all this pain if there is medical help available out there.

Depression is a medical condtion just like diabetes or heart disease. There is actually a chemical imbalance in the brain area, so nobody should feel ashamed getting help. Many people think "mental illness" or a person is a little crazy when they hear of someone taking antidepressants. That kind of thinking is very ignorant and they do not understand the process of depression. And it is not a weakness that a person can just "snap out of" if they could only be stronger. These myths are just that---myths.

I hope you get to feeling better and you are in a good place. The people here are good people.

rewdiazepam

thanks so much. I made an appointment today. I also decided the couple counseling for his therapy is not the right fit for me. They want me in there before he can have contact so I have to go alone. I called the therapist and told him that couples counseling should be done together.. I am the only on that is alone in this counseling they even let the jail guys in. He stated it might be a breach of probation... But I am not the one on the probation and I attended and took all the stupid tests... Can out as truthful and not enabling. So why keep going through this if there is not a pay off? So doctor and therapist for myself until he is allow to go to couple counseling with me.
Thanks for the support......

I remarried my husband and his counseling team did not agree. We wanted to move in together first and we ended up having to get a lawyer who just made a very expensive phone call and we found out they couldn't stop us. My husband has been on probation now for ten years and there are good times and bad times - it's never easy. The best advice is stay positive and keep busy with special friends and work. Take care of yourself first. That helps or I would go crazy. Don't trust anyone on probation even the counselors. I hope things get better for you.

Hi, Goalone,

It DOES get better. It takes time and some effort. You will need to make new choices. It is a confusing and lonely time, but it is also a time to take care of YOU. Ask yourself what you need to do to make yourself feel better. Trust your own wisdom and do what feels right. The first few months are the worst! But one day you realize you are doing better and things start looking up from there.

Best wishes!