Some relationships can be repaired, but all parties have to want to repair it. My relationship with hubby couldn't be repaired if my daughter wasn't supportive of it. She has worked on repairing her relationship with her dad (as much as she can). As far as your relationship with your daughter goes, it will depend on how you all feel and if you feel it's healthy for you to do so...

Either she wants to open the door for a possible relationship (which is unlikely if she told your friend that she was going to go back the way it is now) or she's being manipulative. It sounds like she wants all the attention that goes along with having a baby and she figures she can get something out of you (money maybe?). If she really wanted a relationship with you she would regardless of you showing support for your son. I can understand her being upset to a point because they are her children and they are claiming he did something, but her anger should be towards your son, not you. Sometimes you just have to walk away from some relationships because they are never going to be repaired. I had to walk away from my brother and his wife because of the things that they said about my husband and I. They just want to see the bad decision he made and not the loving, caring man that he is. They went as far as to say very hurtful, nasty things about me because I decided to stay. He kept trying to put my mother in the middle of it all because my husband and I lived with her, but I told her I would leave if she wanted me too and she said he needs to grow up. She still has a relationship with my brother but she stays out of the issues between him and myself. If you want to continue to love and support your son you keep doing that. Right now he needs you more than your daughter needs you. I pray that eventually you can have a relationship with both of them, but now you have to do what's right for you.

I'm not sure I fully understand the situation but if it was your daughter's children who are accusing then her first instinct, like yours, will be to protect her children... that can be the point that you both build from. I've made it a point to not ask my family to forgive my bf but only to allow me my feelings and choices. don't ask your daughter to forgive your son, only to allow you your desire to be there for your son and respect your decisions.

So far I have three categories; ones that resorted to social media attacks and want nothing to do with me anymore, ones that still are friends but have kept their distance and letting time heal and those that actually understand and have been supportive. In fact some in the third category are like this because they know of someone on the registry and think it's a bunch of bs.

Frogpond,

Many of the people, your former friends, who have kept their distance---but are still friends----do so because it is an awkward situation and they just don't know WHAT to say.

In my situation, I have had people tell me they wanted to say something to me in the early stages of the investigation, but they were at a loss for words. They did not know how to approach me or the words to say.

A simple, "I am sorry that you are going through this," would have been nice, but I do understand, since sex crimes are such a touchy subject, that some people do not know how to express their sympathy.

rewdiazepam

i agree with Rew here! I am still new to all this but I think you have a right to support your son, just as your daughter has a right to support her daughters. Each of you would do the most and the best that you could do for your kids. I believe we all would try our best no matter what the circumstance to help our children, even if it isn't what we agree with. I know i have friends that i have tried to talk to and they just look at me sometimes with a deer in the headlight look! (blank stare) I know most everyone has probably put down those we have heard of committing a sex crime. Talked about how bad a person they most likely are. When it happens to you or a friend, you are so in shock and really are not sure how to react. This is one of those things that we think it will never happen to me.
Keep letting your daughter and grand daughters know you love them and still care for them also. It may take some time and it may be slow but i think you will get that relationship back. Right now everyone is hurting!

sitting here trying how to say what i'm thinking.

my daughter is doing 10yrs fed time for CP. while i don't support what she did? i do support her in every way that i can. my love for her has not changed in any way. i feel that there were some extenuating reasons for what she did.

my son at first was horrified, bitter and kinda not wanting to have anything to do with his sister. a big reason for his feelings is that he has a 4yro son. but he has since calmed down. at first he was nervous he and i have talked quite a bit about her situation and has come around and now also supports her. but he honestly doesn't believe that she would have ever hurt his son or that she would have done anything.

your daughter needs to learn and understand that you love "all" of them. that while you don't support what he has been accused of, that you still love and support him. and that you will continue to support and love him what ever the outcome.

your daughter may be protecting her children? but what she is doing is also hurtful and spiteful. she is so very, very wrong to take any of those feelings out on you. in the end, she will only succeed in hurting herself and her children. she nor does anyone have right to expect or demand that you cut him off and out of your life.

love, especially a mother's love, can not be simply turned off. while love no matter what kind, can turn to dislike and hatred. it can't be switched off at a whim or order. it's not a dang light bulb.

big {{{hugs}}} to you for what you are going thru...