Families of SOs Community Group

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Jesseandme 03/30/2016

Hi everyone,

I post here often and I find great comfort reading everyone's posts, and knowing we are all traveling this lonely road together. But some days are so dark I don't know what to do. Today is one of those days. Seems like everything is getting to be a lot. My son is incarcerated for 20 years and I travel 8 hours a weekend a month to see him. Now he is undergoing tests to see if he has lupus or an auto-immune disease. We all know the wonderful healthcare penitentiaries have :( Last year my brother died of an accidental oxi overdose, and 8 months later my mom stroked out and died. My job is highly stressful and no other job opportunities are in sight. I cannot afford to take time off. I feel my health sliding....I no longer sleep and my blood pressure is high. I pray and try to keep positive....but today I can't seem to get one foot in front of another. I could not even go to work.

Please tell me tomorrow will be a better day. Thank you for listening.

Love,
Mary

LegalGuardian 03/30/2016

Hello Mary,

Yes, tomorrow will be a better day because tomorrow you will be stronger for what you live today. Each day is a challenge that prepares us for the tomorrow's, so we can handle things better and find our inner strength that will ultimately guide us to victory.

I am sorry to hear you are having such tribulations. But know that those of us here are all your brothers and sisters and will not allow you to go this journey alone. We are only a stoke of the keyboard away from you.

God bless you!!

phoenixmummy 03/30/2016

Sending strength, I can't imagine losing a child to prison for such a long time. Tomorrow will be better x

honestwitness 03/30/2016

Cyber hugs to you, Mary. I'm hugging tightly and talking to God about you.

chucklechubbs 03/30/2016

Big hugs to you hun! We all have bad days, but I find the next day is always better.Being strong for your son will take its toll on you so as you schedule time into your diary for him, do the same for yourself, it super important to take care of yourself so make time for you, a little extra TLC for yourself goes a long way.

californianative 03/30/2016

Mary, I am so deeply sorry. I can certainly understand the pain and despair. But...you are strong and it will get better. I hope you can take away the knowledge that there are many of us who feel your pain and understand.
I also remember traveling 8 hours to visit my son, soon after I had lost my mother, father and sister. I also remember all the other people who were there, worse off than I. I will never ever forget.

As soon as my son entered prison, he broke his leg. The California prisons were way overcrowded, and he had to be housed in a gym with hundreds of others. He had to climb to the top bunk, three tiers. I couldn't get help for him.
I know that losing a child to prison can be worse than death. My hope is that if we all work together, we can bring some sanity to these horrible laws that ruin people.

Sending hugs and hope your way.

janetmackie 03/30/2016

All of us get to the point where sometimes we need to allow ourselves a 'mental health' day once in awhile. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and taking the day off. That is not to out down how bad you feel when nothing seems to be Things will get better I promise. And Like LegalGuardian says "we will not allow you to go this journey alone. We are only a stoke of the keyboard away from you. I wish hugs and all many better days ahead for you and yours...

sallyblue 03/30/2016

Janets right, we do need a "mental health" day. I don't work but every now and again I need time off from my children. Time to breathe.

Tomorrow will be a better day, everything is getting on top of you at the moment. Its good you have said you are struggling as support will follow. We can all do it together Mary, we are all scattered about the world but rest assured you are not alone

ThoughtAsWeak 03/30/2016

I agree with all that everyone has said so far. I also want to add to go see your doctor. Tell him/her what issues you are having, they can help you get you back on a good sleep schedule and help reduce your blood pressure.

This does get easier the longer you are in it, and having people to talk to who "get it" always helps.

Jesseandme 03/30/2016

Thank-you everyone....your kindness and support has made me feel better, and most importantly not alone. I know you all have your challenges and struggles, and I'm always here to listen, We are definitely united on this forum. God Bless.

Mary

KnowNot 03/30/2016

Mary,

I keep telling myself tomorrow will be a better day. Honestly right now that is all I have.

I have an auto-immune disorder. They thought I had lupus, but it turns out I have Sjogrens. I do not take medications for it, as I am able to control the symptoms through diet and physical activity for now. I know that is harder to do in your son's situation, but I want you to know it isn't a death sentence and once they find out what it is, it makes it easier to manage.

I need a mental health day every once in a while. I should probably take one soon as I am at my wits end.

I hope things become easier for you, and I will keep you in my thoughts.

-S

andyweston 03/31/2016

Dear Mary
There are days, many days I have felt so lost in the ocean of sadness missing my son incarcerated across an ocean looking at 30yrs and only seeing him a few days every year that is if I can afford to and am well enough to make the trips
This forum has almost been my only life line for which I am truly grateful as you all know and feel the stress of the daily struggle to support our loved ones yet we must care for our own precious selves first as we are so precious to them as they now realise so many have no one to care and support them so we must take time out to care for ourselves wether we call it a mental health day or as I now do a love myself day it is vital .

I send you love and strength Mary today as I do to all of you. Blessings on your day.

Ps they have taken my sons sons phone calls away for a month due to him leaving magazines and books in disarray in his cell whilst at lunch last week .....who does this punish??

Jesseandme 03/31/2016

Thank-you KnowNot....I hope things are good for you today. God Bless.

janetmackie 03/31/2016

"We are definitely united on this forum." Some times discoveringreal friendship during tough times turns out to be the hidden heart behind the pain.

peace2all 03/31/2016

Dear Jesse, We all have days like that when even getting out of bed is a workout. I can't even imagine what it feels like to have a son that far away for that many years. You are carrying quite a heavy cross but you are not carrying it alone. We all are right here every step of the way and feel your pain. Your first priority has to be your health and taking care of yourself. Your son will only feel worse if he sees your health being affected due to his situation. Take time to get to the doctor and get your BP under control. Take time to talk to a mental health person as needed. Between your son, the loss of your brother and your mom, that's too much for anyone to bear. So take care of yourself, do things you love, give yourself permission to enjoy your life so you can be there for your son when he comes home. In the meantime, keep the faith and know we are always here for you.

anotherbrokenheart 03/31/2016

I am with you in spirit. My son just started an 8 year sentence. Every day seems to be worse than the last. Some days are just too much to bare. I come to this forum for support. It seems this is the only place where people understand the weight of our pain and suffering. You and your son are in my prayers today. Prayers for health and healing and for comfort.

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