Compassion4all, They are definitely both addicted to porn and it has been a problem since I was little. My brother was exposed to it very early and my dad never hid it well. I found stuff on the computer all the time (though never anything I thought was questionable) and I totally understand the slippery slope that gets people into major trouble.

We definitely are focusing on trying to turn it into a more positive experience, at least as much as possible. I tell my dad that maybe this is the intervention that he needed to get on the right track with his life and start appreciating his wife and family. It really is so complicated. My relationship with the two of them was already sort of strained before all of this and now its just even harder.

amynmesa, the anxiety is the worst part, though I've had plenty of practice dealing with it. I actually didn't know about the arrests for awhile. I am prone to anxiety problems and relapsed in February/March after a health issue. I was pretty immobilized by it for awhile and my mom hid the news from me because she knew I couldn't handle it. She told me a week or two later when I was feeling better which of course brought the panic attacks on again. I'm glad I know though. I know that especially my dad needs me because I'm the only one in the family that understands the anxiety he is going through. My mom gets very frustrated because she doesn't understand when he is unable to function but I unfortunately know the feeling all too well. Luckily I do pretty well on prozac so I was able to wean myself off of the ativan after a few weeks. My dad hasn't had the same luck, though.

I wish I could just give everyone hugs. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and I know it can get a lot worse than what we are going through so far. My heart goes out to all of you. It makes me really upset that it took this happening to me to realize what it puts people through. I've certainly been guilty of thinking in black and white terms about sex offenders in the past. I remember when we were notified that a SO was moving into our neighborhood and the fear that was an automatic result. I have no idea what the guy did, but he kept to himself and there was no reason to notify everyone. Fear doesn't solve anything.

One day at a time it is.

I totally understand where you are coming from. When my husband was first sentenced I blamed him so much because in the house he was the soul breadwinner and once he was gone I had to get a job at minimum wage. I had to work extra hours just to make something to pay at least one bill a month. They piled up and piled up and because I had to work so much I rarely got to see my daughter so basically she grew up without me. I blamed him soo much but eventually I had to take control of my own life. Sometimes I still blame him when something breaks down and I cant afford to fix it but really if you think about it, it is just the pain talking and slowly you will get over it.

Thank you. I know that we will get through this. It helped a lot to vent. I have very supportive friends and family but I think most of the time they just have no idea what to say.

Part of what makes it so difficult is that its such a long drawn out ordeal. I have plenty of time to process what is happening but by the time I am feeling back to "normal" its time for another court date or we get another tidbit of information and there's just so much more to process again.

I was think that too Aladdin - who knows where those items have been in four years! I am surprised a judge granted an arrest warrant after all that time! I know it is expensive but I would try ot get a forensic computer guy to research WHEN that CP was downloaded and last accessed!

Yeah. They hired a forensics guy for my brother at least. I guess it was part of some statewide sweep. They probably just wanted to get as many people arrested at the same time as possible and I'm guessing that is why it took so long. Its so political. No one is being protected here.

It is political.

If your fathers, brothers and husbands were such a threat to society/kids that they need jail time and to be in the registry but for 2-4 years they weren't charged?

This alone shows that law enforcement doesn't really think them a threat. You don't let a threat wander around free for 4 years.

It is just another notch in their belt.