Families of SOs Community Group
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November 6, 2015
Today my husband appeared in court and plead guilty to 1 count of possession, distribution, and viewing matter of a sexual nature depicting a child. Some images were of 13-15 year olds. The court sentenced my husband to ten years imprisonment. Shortly before noon, his parents, aunt and uncle, and I were able to hug and kiss him and say see you later. Now, I'm home alone, and it's breaking my heart that I won't be able to see my husband every day, kiss him goodnight, hold him, argue with him, or get that text message telling me he loves me and be able to reply with the same. In AR on a first time offense of this nature, the presumptive sentence is community corrections and alternative sanctions. The prosecution recommended the max because of the age of the individuals in the images. I do hope that God will protect my husband during his incarceration and that his spirit isn't destroyed. I do NOT regret standing by my husband during the last two years-for better or for worse. Well, this is definitely the worst. I need the strength to carry on and maintain this home. We have been told that he'll be detained in the local county jail for several months because all of the AR dept. of corrections prisons are full and overflowing. That'll make visits much easier.
Today my husband appeared in court and plead guilty to 1 count of possession, distribution, and viewing matter of a sexual nature depicting a child. Some images were of 13-15 year olds. The court sentenced my husband to ten years imprisonment. Shortly before noon, his parents, aunt and uncle, and I were able to hug and kiss him and say see you later. Now, I'm home alone, and it's breaking my heart that I won't be able to see my husband every day, kiss him goodnight, hold him, argue with him, or get that text message telling me he loves me and be able to reply with the same. In AR on a first time offense of this nature, the presumptive sentence is community corrections and alternative sanctions. The prosecution recommended the max because of the age of the individuals in the images. I do hope that God will protect my husband during his incarceration and that his spirit isn't destroyed. I do NOT regret standing by my husband during the last two years-for better or for worse. Well, this is definitely the worst. I need the strength to carry on and maintain this home. We have been told that he'll be detained in the local county jail for several months because all of the AR dept. of corrections prisons are full and overflowing. That'll make visits much easier.
I am so very sorry from the depths of my heart that you, your family, and husband are going through this.
You would think that as long as I have been supporting inmates and their families that I would be accustomed----and perhaps immune----to a 10 year sentence for a CP offender who was not a major dealer, as I am sure your husband was not.
But every time I read stories like this, I have to catch my breath at the injustice of such a lengthy sentence.
My advice is to take this one day at a time and try not to worry about something in the future than may or man not ever come to pass.
Treasure your friends that understand your situation and divorce those that are critical of your husband or your decision to stick by him. Those that want to gossip about your husband are absolute poison to your situation; get rid of them.
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Do not be afraid to reach out to others---and especially to the great folks who post on this board--- who understand your situation Each and every one of us has felt the sting of the criminal justice system at one time or the other. There is a lot of compassion on this board. The ladies---the mamas, wives, and GF of offenders------ along with the registrants here are some of the most courageous people I have ever met and I frankly admire them. These people here are truly "my people"
There will be peaks and valleys during this long, dark road. If you feel as if these events are beginning to consume you, go to your family physician for some help. There are several modern antidepressants called SSRIs that are effective and with few adverse reactions.
I don't know the condition of your faith, but you will need some faith in something-----God, a Higher Power, or just in youself----to fight this battle. Look to a power greater than yourself.
People get a special pleasure of ridiculing those families who stick with their guy, when all they have done is love their man who is in prison. Some will try to jab away at you to make you feel inferior or they will even go so far as to try to take your dignity. Nobody can rob you of your dignity unless you allow them to; do not allow that to happen.
And lastly, throughout the history of this nation, hundreds of thousands of men and women have been convicted of a crime and sent to prison. In 99% of these cases, they go to prison, do their time, are released and do fine after leaving prison. There is not one reason on God's green earth that your husband cannot do the same.
Take care of yourself. I certainly believe in you and your husband.
God bless you, as you will always be in my thoughts, just as everyone here is.
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This is a travesty of justice, but, the nature of the beast when there's a hired gun involved and even die hard republicans in our family think ten years is excessive on a first offense. However, it will not do any good to try to parse or wallow in this reality. If I do that, then I will stay angry and will not move forward day by day. God has given me a special kind of Grace-the opportunity to learn to stand on my own two feet and gain some inner strength. This way, I'm better prepared to face the challenges that my husband will face when he is released: finding a new job, reinstating his disability benefits and registering as a sex offender.
He'll be eligible for parole in 20 months-up to 90 days earlier if the emergency powers act due to overcrowding is invoked. We've made it through the last 24 months of uncertainty and extreme stress and possible federal involvement-which is null and void now-and our marriage wasn't weakened-it was strengthened. Plus, the time flew by. With my studio, home health work, violin practice, and taking care of our dog, I'll be plenty busy. Plus, my parents have told me that they'll help me pay to come home periodically if I want to.
I'm finding that I have to constantly remind myself that my husband will be home again-that this is temporary-and that he'll have a wife, home, and a family to come back to.
His boss has even alluded that he'll have a job waiting when he's released. So, I'll be gathering written commitments to submit to the parole board of his opportunities waiting when released.
It is through pain that we are strengthened and comforted by God's angels to carry us through to the other side. screw the world.
So sorry to hear of this but there is a bright side. MOST of the uncertainty is now gone! You have a known cause unfolding in front of you now. Now it's a waiting game.
It sounds like you have some family support. Lean on them. Don't take this alone. If you every need to talk please PM me or any of the other good folks on this board. We are all here to help!
Free
We are not here by choice. We are here because of our circumstances. And we still love. And we forgive. And we deal with the hand that is dealt to us.
We have to move on. It is hard. To know that i will not see him as a free man for 9 years is hard to take.
All i can say is support him and love him. Write him letters. Visit when you can.
Just remember you are human and give yourself time to grieve. It is almost like a death. We go through the same stages as if they died. This is temporary although long and very emotional.
I wish you the best