Families of SOs Community Group
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We've known for a month that hubby was going to take a plea deal. Possible 10 to 25 years down to 3 to 5 (except that the judge doesnt really have to honor that). He just arrived at a county facility where he will hold until sentencing end of September. But instead of counting down to one more hearing or when he takes the plea and living on probation that counts for nothing....at least everyday now puts him closer to coming home and moving on. He's usually very tough and stoic...and he was right up until they led him out..then he broke. Then they gave him a 3 minute freebie call to say he'd arrived and he broke down again. I'm having a really hard time with such a strong confident man being like this! Don't get me wrong...I fully understand. But its breaking my heart. So wouldv everyone who has been through this please tell me he will adjust and that the time will fly by please?
Trust me, he will adjust. There at the county and whenever he goes to his destination prison, he will make some friends, get into a routine, and be fine.
Regardless of his personality----loud, quiet, animated, laid back, over confident or a little scared----he will find others in there just like himself. They are not throwing him in with a bunch of hardened convicts. So many people are being convicted today and sentenced to a lock up facility, that it has "watered down" the system. Prison is not like it was when I was there.
He will find other first time offenders who are scared also.
Prison is also nothing like you see on TV or in the movies. If you watch those shows it will scare you half to death as it makes it seem like all inmates do all day is run around stabbing and raping each other. In reality, prison is boring most of the time. Instead of all the drama, you have guys just sitting around working crossword puzzles, watching TV, or playing cards just biding their time until they can go home.
He will get a job and get into a routine. This is very important. The time will pass by quickly if he stays busy.
Everyone who first enters prison is a little scared or apprehensive. If they tell you differently, they are lying. This is particularly true for first time offenders. They don't know what to expect or how they are supposed to act, so the fear of the unknown and doing something wrong is magnified.
But everyone gets through it. I don't know of one inmate who did not finally get through their prison term and go home. He will observe and watch everyone else to see what is and is not appropriate in prison.
And some guys in prison are really good guys. They are not all Jack the Rippers or Ted Bundys. There will be some that will understand and help him. When I went to prison, a guy who had a life sentence for stabbing his wife to death helped me a lot, and maybe your guy will get some help also.
I will tell you what I tell everyone going to prison------In the history of this country, thousands upon thousands of men and women have gone to prison and 99% of them served their sentence and came out fine. There is not one reason on God's green earth that your husband cannot do the same.
God bless you and try to relax. He will be fine, trust me.
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I hope you realize Few what you do for so many people's peace of mind! I hope he can find purpose like you have!
State prison is full of riff raff-----wife abusers, real rapists, kidnappers, etc. He will not have to put up with this kind of trash in federal prison. Most of those in state prisons have less than an ninth grade education and violence is the only way they know to solve problems.
Prison is not THAT bad. It is certainly a waste of time, but they don't torture you or physically abuse you. All you have to do is mind your own business and do your own time. Keep cool and don't allow the COs to make you too angry. Find some decent guys to pal around with and stay away from the inmates that are always getting into trouble.
He will be OK, and so will you.
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