Yeah I was afraid of that. So sorry

PO's are god until your son is off paper. That is what I was told flatly by the former PO that did our Pre-Sentence Investigation. He tried to prepare us for what was coming. Told us how they were going to behave, told us how they were going to look at us. He also tried to get through my head that the more you fight them the tighter the noose was going to be.

I tested this a very little when my husband came home. I had been in contact with his PO for 8 months prior to his release, to get the home approved, etc. Then just a few days before I talked to her (he has had two other POs since this lady) to confirm that I didn't need to have anything installed like a landline phone etc. She confirmed there was nothing left. Then I get a call at 8 am the day he was to be delivered to my house (you can't go pick up prisoners here their PO goes and gets them and takes them to where they are going) that I needed to have a landline phone or they weren't going to bring him home that day, so they could hook up an ankle bracelet, as it is their 'policy' to put all offenders on one of those when they are released.

Yes, I thought of arguing with her, since I had been talking to her up to that point regularily, but what good was that going to do me or my husband? Put us on her shit list. In 75 days the bracelet was off and a few months after that, that bitch was gone too. Then he got his next PO who was more reasonable, he got his internet finally and he passed his polygraph. Another 6 months pass and he gets yet another PO, who hopefully will be the last change for a while.

I could have argued with them about their way of doing business, but in reality they hold ALL THE CARDS, they have the power to put him back in prison, they have the power to tell him that he can't live with you and they will even feel they have more power than the orders of a judge no matter what jurisdiction that they come from.

The more you fight him the more he is going to make life more and more difficult for you both. I know it is frustrating and heartbreaking, but if the PO says treatment is going to happen, it will happen or your son could be in jail. In WI a PO can hold a person on a PO hold for up to 45 days without much of a reason or explanation, and when they are asked to justify it, it is your word against theirs... who do you think their management is going to believe.

I am sorry for such dismal news, but I can't express enough that you want to make sure you don't make things harder for him because you know what they are doing is so 'not right'.

so sorry for the harassment. Yes here in Green County MO the PO is God. I hate it also but we learned the hard way you HAVE TO PLAY THEIR GAME or your son will wind up where my son is..... in prison. It took us too long to learn this. We did not have any one to advise us when this all started. We thought we lived in the US and we had rights, right? Wrong. Do what the PO says and tell your son to do what ever he says so he can avoid going to prison. It has been almost 8 years now and I miss my son terribly.

There's no question a PO will think he or she is God but they aren't. I do agree with the others and he should do what the PO says or it will be more grief at least in the short term but on the plus side your son is under Federal supervision and there's a lot more procedural protection and options when compared to the average state PO so that might be something to look into.

The one thing that I had trouble remembering was that whatever I did affected me, but it DIRECTLY affected my husband. For he was the one that would pay the price for whatever I did, even if he didn't agree.

Federal supervision is different but even here in WI there is an administrative process to dispute things that the PO does that eventually can end up in the circuit court if it goes far enough. But in the mean time, while those procedural things are working their way through, the PO will still hold all the cards...

Yes, the PO is God. They are harder in the beginning so it might get better - maybe. There are so many rules it feels like you are in prison sometimes. I am a wife of a SO and they don't want me around on his every other month visit. My husband has been on probation for 10 years and it is not any easier. They don't like lawyers. We have had the problem when you hire a lawyer with good money they never call you back. My husband is on a mandatory sex offender treatment program and that is pretty bad too even though we are paying for it. They only take cash even we have great medical insurance. They can dismiss him but look at the money they would lose. I am beginning to wonder if he has to die first.

Yep they are god!! Usually there has to be a special program on the computer that you pay monthly for. We have to have out computers checked every month. $150 for program $50 for check. $400 for treatment, that wasn't ordered by judge but was ordered by PO. And because we are appealing and I won't state for the record that my so is guilty.. I am not allowed contact other than by phone, and we run a business together. they can and do violate you very easily and life is about what they want...

Now that my so has done the poly and written a safety plan for everything... They are thinking about allowing contact... The treatment is very intense.....

Well. I'm really disappointed. We thought my son wouldn't have to deal with 'treatment' . But the lawyer really pissed off the PO.
My son still wants to fight that fact but I now worry about the a lawyer making it worse.
How long do they make them take treatment?

Once a week I'm guessing. What a pain in the ass, taking time off to do this bs.

Probably once a week to start... I know the GPS guys were having to go to treatment once a week and another group session, so twice a week for some time... Although the second thing wasn't about sex offender treatment it was just a group counseling to help cope with, well everything.

I know you and your son are fighters like me... I can tell by your posts... This is going to be hard to endure, but I do promise you that things should get easier.

Yeah POs hate lawyers, first of all POs know nothing of law, nor do they care as they operate as the law in their world to be challenged by outside forces pisses them off... ;) Your son is still essentially a ward of the state and subject to their rules and regulations or they can take him back to prison to finish his time. (At least that is how it goes here in WI.) In their world they are the almighty and what they say goes and they have their supervisor's signature to prove it, as they do not put themselves in a position to be questioned for their decision, so every decision usually has two people that had to approve it. It is a racket, it is not about rehabilitation or reintegration but about more punishment and psychological battery. The whole thing gives a person PTSD in some way shape or form. Paranoia, etc...

I would be careful with the attorney, if fighting is what you choose to do, remember the ultimate price is your son going back to prison for however long his probation is for. To me one day is one too many, so we comply, as the best way to beat bastards is at their own game... document everything, know the rules, know their manual as you can request it, for it is a public record and subject to the FOIA. Play their 'game' by their rules and 'beat' them by coming out the other end with out a whole lot of scars...

Probation was never meant to be the way it is executed today. POs are abusing their powers and enjoying the punishment they can instill on "offenders". They love the subordinate person who crawls and begs.....how "cruel and unusual". Here is the link to "wikipedia" and under Theory, it explains that probation officers should be counselors, therapists, and advocates to help the "offender". They have the chance to make a difference for society, but they choose not to. Why does society not step in? Rather than feeling safe, they should worry that "offenders" are being mistreated and become angry, rightfully so. POs owe society to do their job the way it was intended to have the best outcome. Instilling fear has never worked.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probation

I've fired the attorney. He never called me back, or responded to my emails until this morning when I fired him and told him I want my $7500 back. How he pissed off my son's PO and never took my calls, but that's another story.
My son will start 'treatment' next Tuesday. I like this guy he'll be going to. I told him my son accidentally downloaded that 1 cp he was charged with. My son said he's going to tell the truth or say nothing.
I'm on the prowl for another lawyer. And I will make sure that he doesn't call the PO but goes thru the correct channels of the court to deal with it.

Manual? I'd like to see their manual. I'm sure it's available online somewhere.

Yes, mtbfan.. my son's PO seemed pretty proud that they put SOs back in prison this past month for violating probation. I think it was mostly for looking for more cp. But he mentioned it to my son when he went for his monthly. bastard.

My LO'S new friend just came back in for being violated after 3 of being years of being out. Seems his PO saw him playing a game on the computer, (not on line) at 1am, thru an open window. Really, this is America?

Unfortunately, there are people who are truly psychopaths who may be attracted to that kind of work because of the audacious amount of control that it gives them over other people. Psychopathy is actually quite common, between 1 and 4% of the general population depending on what study you read.

Of course, you would find more of these people in the prison population, as they are people who do not recognize the suffering of others. I wouldn't be surprised if some of these personality traits would be found in some probation officers, too. It would be interesting.

I know I've run into a couple of true psychopaths at work. There's nothing you can do about them except hope they are not smart enough to know that you are on to them.

I knew a police officer once who told me the thing he was most afraid of in his work was the other officers. Perhaps the real problem with probation is that the role set up for these people probably encourages their worst traits to come out because they have to be in control of people who are difficult to control.

Its not a good situation. Too much time in a role like that must really get people believing their own garbage. Or may be its like the Standford Prison Experiment -- www.prisonexp.org -- where they put college students into the roles of jailers and jailed. They had to stop the experiment because the students were really changed by the role they were in and became cruel.

Perhaps people who are put into these controlling roles become cruel because of their role, not who they are…unless they are hard-wired to be psychopaths, of course.

Peek... I agree. It's all about control and ego.
That's the only explanation. I would never want to be in that much control over someone's life. But then the cops , feds, judge and prosecutor.. they're all the same mindset. They live this SO crap their whole lives and that tells me they have issues.

My son says that his PO has no idea who he is.. but he thinks he knows .

I'm glad I'm not the one who is on parole because I have serious attitude and would tick off a PO in about 5 minutes. My husband is much better at playing the game. Both of his POs were all over him for about the first month or so, and after that pretty much left him alone.