I think that if you are no longer required to register it would be stupid not to move! As long as you move to a state that won't make you register anyway you get to live free of the restrictions. It's a choice between living how you want versus living in constant fear. That's not running away that's doing what's in the best interest of you and your family

Thank you! That is how I feel.

I want my son to play sports. It breaks my heart I told him no to the soccer team this year. Daddy can't take him and I'm not allowed.

I just want to be a regular mom to my kids!!

Had I known 18 years ago this would be the world I'd be living in I would have fired my lawyer and went to trial vs. plea bargaining.

I know I'm doing the right thing. I know we risk law changes in any state we go to but I can't see them doing what IL did 12 years ago and applying laws to 'those convicted' vs 'those required to register'.

I wish IL would just redefine SO to be registered now that some are on the list for life.

First, are you sure your conviction in IL is not registerable here in WI. If you have confirmation of that, then by all means MOVE!!!!

I can't say that I don't agree with your husband, but he also isn't living under the scrutiny nor the restrictions, it is hard to empathize if it isn't personally prohibiting you and causing you to think about it constantly which is torture all by itself.

WI has already passed a law about registrants working for schools and other things. And as long as it is cleared with the school district even registrants can go get their kids from school. Much of your trouble will depend on where you live, as the attitudes are different in different areas of the state. If I remember correctly as you have been looking into places to move you would rather stay closer to a metro area rather than a more rural area. That is where you will run in to the most issues, the closer one gets to a big city or large metro type area the local restrictions are more severe and people are in your business more. Which is why I always recommend smaller towns at least 30 mins away from those metro areas at least.

I don't see MN changing their tune all that much. Patty Wetterling is from there and has educated that government quite a bit over the years. They are questioning their method of civil commitment and that is going to become less of a burden for them too. MN has had some serious money troubles in the last few years, their government completely shut down for a while there, at least a couple of weeks if not more. Personally I would be more afraid of WI passing new laws than MN.

If you are a fighter by nature and you know the consequences, which is you will probably not see change until your children are grown and it is irrelevant to you. It sounds like this is going to boil down to whether or not you are willing to sacrifice seeing your kids in their activities all over the place to battle an extremely corrupt government (even more so than WI) or to move and pick your battles another day in another way. Maybe move back to IL when your kids are grown and continue the battle later. Get involved in the state you move to, to keep these laws from being passed. I would not look at it as running away, it is choosing the battle that you are best suited to SURVIVE, not even win, but just to survive and have some kind of quality of life. Because if you have no quality of life, then what exactly are you fighting for?

I agree 1000% with Aladdin and Wisconsin.

I went through much of the same thing with my situation after my release from prison.

Upon my release, I moved into one of my parents' rent houses until I could get acclimated to my new surroundings. I did not have a lot of problems, but I could anticipate that there were a couple of neighbors that might cause me some headaches. One was a redneck hillbilly that lived across the street and one lived down the block.

I decided to move to a rural area, not because I could not stay and fight them, but because I did not want any harassment and had better things to do than fuss with the neighbors. So I moved and I don't consider that "running." I did what I needed to do to make my life best for me.

If you move out of state, that is not "running." That is just getting out of the way of a bad situation. You are just tired of messing with that state, and you will have fewer problems and feel better by getting away from all the craziness that the state has to offer.

Don't allow them to put the "running" label on you and make you think you are weak for not staying. It is very wise to get away from a bad situation.

Yes, it is true that the new state may pass regulations much like the state where you are presently residing, but nobody knows that---it is just a guess---and if they do, they might not be applied retroactively.

But there is another, more subtle reason for moving, and it again involves giving yourself some piece of mind. Your current state most likely has too many bad memories for you to ever be satisfied there. That was my situation. I moved back to the town from which I was convicted and everywhere I looked, I saw things that reminded me of the trial.

Your situation may not be exactly like mine, but I think it is important for a registrant or any ex-offender to get a fresh start in a new location other than where he was convicted. The bad memories will just ruin too many days.

Do what you need to do to make you happy, regardless of what anyone else says. You are living this nightmare, not them.

No, you are not "running." You are using your intelligence to give yourself some more piece of mind.

My two cents.

rewdiazepam

Thank you, WIS and Rew!

I am about as positive as I can be without asking a state police officer that I am not required to register in WI, MI or MN.

WI and MI have rules governing schools but they apply to those required to register and are FAIR laws. In WI you can't be banned from any school event. You just tell them your status once a year and they can't deny access (if your child is a student).

So even if I had to register it's 100x better than IL!!

I'd love to live out in the boonies, WIS, but for work, family and health care needs we need to be somewhat urban.

I agree with what you said about MN, WIS, they need to figure out the civil commitment thing and I think that will keep them busy for a while plus they have their heads on straight (so far) about tiers and being public, etc.

Rew- funny you mention memories and wanting to escape. I often wonder if IL suddenly passed a redefinition of SO to be those required to register would I stay? Or would I feel the same scrutiny I feel now just lessened slightly?

In a way a new town offers new beginnings.

My husband is right that I will never fully escape. To be a 'den mother' to host a sleepover , to coach a t-ball team, to be a room mother, to chaperone field trips.... None of those are in my future because even if laws allow I wouldn't put myself in a position to be alone with a child not my own. Because if my background is found out I want no one to think back and worry I was up to no good.

But to attend school events and sports - I can't wait! I want to take my kids sledding and to the zoo and the beach!

I want to give them normal because none of this is their fault.

Well you can get great healthcare where I live near Marshfield WI, home to Marshfield Clinic and the main hospital for the Ministry now Acension (they were recently bought out the Ministry) I haven't been able to get better healthcare anywhere else I have lived... So rural does not mean poor healthcare.

So rural doesn't mean poor health services.

I've heard good things about Marshfield.

I rule nothing out fully.

First we need to sell our house here! :-)

oi... the housing market... I do not envy you and that task!!!

I agree with everything here except no metro areas. It may be because I live in the North East, PA to be exact. The metro area I live in is easy going. Also, PA will use your registration from your home state for registration purposes here. When they passed the AWA, they wrote into the law that they would not reach back to those already off the registry.
Just my thoughts.

Also, you are not running just moving on.

I agree that metro areas are not completely off limits, but it is more of a rule that they can be harsher than accepting and more chances of running into LE too in my opinion. Here in the midwest it seems that there are harsher conditions the closer you get to a large city...

The only thing I would add is to consult with an attorney in the state you are moving to, just to make sure there aren't any weird legal issues.

However, you are off the registry! You should feel like that matters and it's s big deal! You should not have to live in constant fear of breaking som rules that you shouldn't have to follow in the first place! Your husband doesn't understand and it seems like he just doesn't want to move. Is he worried about job situations if you moved?

I see it as a mix.

My experience is the bigger cities are sometimes too busy with other crime to scan license plates looking for SO out of compliance but I see reports of it here in the small towns.

And in IL small towns lean towards conservative which means (often) more harsh views and vigilante justice.

On the flip side sometimes small towns means less LE and less technology and less chance a neighborhood watch is poking into people's business.

Being that I'd be new in town who knows if a small town would ferret out info or not? I'd lean towards a mid-sized rural town if I go that route. I want to blend in.

But I must say that big cities in the Midwest lean towards liberal and that can be good. 'ban the box' laws and attention given to not discriminate even against SO. Madison has some municipal SO laws but when you read the debates around when they were out into affect you can see they were careful not to limit the rights of SO's. So a SO can enter parks or park district buildings and even schools (although new state laws say if you're registered you have to inform them of your status).

While I don't condone any of those laws at least the WI ones are written more fairly than anything in IL.

And part of me fears going to a place with no laws because who knows when someone will up and decide to pass some? At least a state / town with laws I can abide makes me feel a bit in control.

Fighting is always a good option, but why not fight when you have more freedom to actually be a mom?

I won't stop advocating for SO or donating money.

I'll be the first to champion change, etc, to the degree I can.

I might shift my money to my new state as that would benefit me. Although I will say IL is ripe ripe ripe for reform. These laws are so unconstitutional we just need someone with money and legal power to step in and fight.

When debating my husbands accusation that I was 'running' I told him to stay and fight would mean getting arrested and having the money to battle the punitive and retroactive nature of IL laws. And of course I'd lose my job and therefore our house in the process....and probably still not have enough money to take the fight all the way.