He needs to know how this is effecting you! I can't hid nothing from my love so I don't he gets the good the bad and the icky stuff that happens with life. Keep writing to him, stay busy, take his calls when you can, see him when or if you can. Also set a bit of a budget so you can tell him how much you can and can't put on his booksor phone for him....this is iimportant so you don't get into det wich can happen pretty fast.

First off, he has federal charges and I assume they are charges for some kind of sex crime. Maybe child pornography?

Is he sure going to trial is the best thing to do here? The number of people who have been acquitted in federal court on child porn charges can probably be counted on one hand. His chances of acquittal are almost non-existent unless his attorney can get some of the evidence thrown out because of an illegal search or some other constitutional violation.

What are his charges?

rewdiazepam

Harpssong, I have two sons in prison, so I can offer a little bit of wisdom. The time in jail was the absolute worst part of the entire process. Their emotions will run really high during that time and so will yours. It's partly because jails are usually worse than prisons, as far as how all the inmates are treated by staff. Also, there aren't as many activities for inmates to do as there are in prison. Not only that, but the difficulty of communicating with his lawyer can be very infuriating.

Encourage him to sign a letter and send it to his lawyer giving the lawyer permission to discuss the case with you. I don't know if that will suffice, since you're not his wife, but it's worth a try. Because I am the mother, it worked for my sons and it was a real comfort to them that they could call me and ask me to get a message to their lawyers on their behalf.

I would say that your continued and regular attempts to visit with him, receive his phone calls, send him letters, and just be there as a shoulder to lean on will be the very best thing you can do for him. Just stay calm, even if and when he gets emotional, if you possibly can. Reassure him that you believe in him and support him. Reassure him that many other men have gone through this process, which proves it can be done. Let him know you have every confidence that he will do just fine, every step of the way.

I would say to keep any of your own negative emotions to yourself. There will be plenty of time for that in the future, but while he awaits trial, it's better for you to be the Rock of Gibraltar for him.

all I know for sure right now is sexual assault on a minor. I'm assuming the federal charges have something to do with production of child pornography.
I don't think they will go to trial but right now he's just sitting waiting to find out what exactly they'll charge him with. his lawyer won't talk to me and my bf is a little out of it at the moment and I guess he really shouldn't tell me exactly what's happening anyway...
we just found out about the federal charges last week and its really hit us both hard, I'm pregnant with his first. I'm worried he'll just give up on everything.

All you can really do right now is what you have been doing, be there for him, be his rock.

Harpssong, I can't imagine going through this while being pregnant!!! My heart goes out to you! I would encourage you to make sure you keep your doctor informed as to your stress level, so he/she can give you all the help you need to stay healthy while you go through this.