I do feel that being a kind person puts you at an extremely high risk for being taken advantage of. It's frustrating. You have to be kind for the right reasons, and also smart to take care of yourself. DS- he has been out for 5 years, but it is only recently that he's really had to start dealing with the reality of being on the registry. He learned so many screwed up coping mechanisms that got him through prison and now it is coming to the point that those coping mechanisms are no longer useful in the 'real world'. Im really having a hard time dealing with it. It's like every day is a new struggle. I

Rew, I agree. After helping someone once I then wait to see what type of person they are. Most out themselves right away. It's those skilled at the long con who are dangerous.

Duppy, he's lucky if it's just getting to him now. My son has only been out a few weeks and each week we get thrown a new curve. Today we start looking for a third accommodation. Oh joy. But until he has a job and we know where he's going to be located, no point in buying something for him. Life is what it is.

"Im really having a hard time dealing with it. It's like every day is a new struggle". I hear you there. I'm not a patient person unless I'm on Zoloft and I've now weaned myself down to 25mgs so my normal personality is poking through. I'm one of those bossy "get off your darn butt" types. My sympathy is there but it only lasts so long.

Is there somewhere he can go to get taught new ways of coping? His options are limited - either he faces up to his new life and grows, or he doesn't and is guaranteed a crappy life full of stress he doesn't know how to deal with well, or he goes back to prison. I'll be a lot easier on both of you if he just bites the bullet and learns new skills now.

my feelings exactly DS. His new job supposedly will have insurance, after 90 days. I'm hoping that he will get a counselor... I'm the same way, "get off your darn butt" type. Although I have also struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, so I understand the other side of the spectrum. HOWEVER.. I have worked very long and hard at managing mine. So I have to temper my expectations for others who have not walked in my shoes.,. its a fine line. His number one routine is denial, denial, denial. I wish that he would start facing things, it would make things easier for him most importantly, but of course for us as well. You can lead a horse to water...

New job, insurance, a counselor - that all sounds wonderful! With all that his outlook on life should change. He'll be more confident. My son hasn't gotten to the job part yet but one has been promised.

Same here with the depression and anxiety - I've learned how to cope with it the best way I know how. I'm also a go getter, while he's doesn't like to deal with the problems of life. What happens is that he knows he's supposed to do something or there will be repercussions, and he doesn't for whatever reason (usually down to not wanting to ask anyone for help). Like the problem is going to go away? When he finally does get into a panic and tell us/someone the problem has been made a whole lot harder. For years I've been telling him that life doesn't have to be that hard. And here we are.

And while this all is terrible for anyone to go through, as I've mentioned somewhere before, many positives are coming from it. Family plus extended family have closed ranks around him, we've all had to learn about Aspies (previously we only knew that he looked at life differently and that there were some things that confused the heck out of him), and he's now being pushed out of his comfort zone because we can't/won't do everything for him. It's not possible and besides, we shouldn't. He either steps up to the plate or he goes to prison. His choice (mostly). It's not going to be easy but if he does succeed I'll know that he'll be ok when I'm no longer in this world.