Families of SOs Community Group
WE HAVE MOVED!!! ............................. ............................... ......................... ............................ ............................. .......................... HERE: http://support-for-families.boards.net ............. ................ ............... ................ ............................... .................Please create a profile...
Well, after a week of having disappeared, I come home and he kid is here waiting for me.
I said hello and went to my room. I was wondering if he was going to take the initiative to come talk with me, for if he didn't I wasn't going to ask him to do so. Suffice to say, he came to my room and we talked.
We spoke and he informed me that his father once again kicked him out of the house and thus, he is once again homeless. He is 18 yrs old so his dad can legally kick him out, but the history of abuse from his dad is such that kicking him out is a regular occurrence.
During our conversation I asked him point blank if he is clean (free of meth) and he told me he is, moreover, he took the initiative and rolled up his sleeves to show me there are no track marks from needles. Man I was so freaking ecstatic that I just grabbed him and praised him. He reached around and gave me a hug and laughed and said he is proud of himself too. DAMN THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!
He also told me that after we visited a week ago and he got pissed with me for not giving him money that he was demanding, he ripped up the paper I gave him with my phone number. However, soon thereafter, he said, he needed me and as he sat staring at the phone trying desperately to remember my phone number but he couldn't. Instead, he told me, he remembered what I told him when I gave him my number -- "you never know when you'll need a friend" and he felt the loss of not having me there when he needed a friend.
I also discussed my conversation with the Douche Bag who has been sexually abusing him and I told him that I confronted the (you know what) about what he has been doing to this kid and told him to knock his crap off. Well, word got to me tonight that when the kid asked the Douche Bag to buy him some alcohol, the Douche Bag told him no and that because he (the kid) was hanging around me he (the Douche Bag) would not help him with such things any more. I WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!!
Of course the kid is far from out of the woods with this Douche Bag because he will use his addictions to lure him back into the clutches of his control, as it is his pattern of behavior. But at least this time victory was achieved here. And yes, the kid asked me to buy him some alcohol too, but he did not cop an attitude when I told him hell no I would not buy him alcohol. I told him life sucks so he might as well get use to it cause I am not buy him any alcohol. He smiled.
I told him there are two parts to him, i.e. on one hand he is a complete asshole in how he treats people and he does exactly what he knows he should not do, but then on the other hand he is a really cool kid who is well behaved and wants to improve his life. I told him that somehow we need to find a way for him to keep being the cool kid that he is inside -- the kid with enormous potential.
I drove him around a lot today and man the kid would not stop laughing and joking around with me. He was having a really good time. It was good to see. I bought him lunch and dinner, and he is fast asleep on the couch right now, as it is 3:50 in the morning. Tomorrow I will make him biscuits and gravy for breakfast.
I told him tonight that if he would meet me half way here I would likely pay his rent for a month to help him get his feet on the ground; get a job, and become self-sufficient, but I do not know where his head it at in what he wants to do. He told me point blank that he does not know either. He is sitting on the fence and while I hate it very much, I know that he has to make the choice in the direction he wants to go here.
However, for at least tonight I know he is safe, free of meth, and not being sexually abused so yeah, today was a very good day.
I said hello and went to my room. I was wondering if he was going to take the initiative to come talk with me, for if he didn't I wasn't going to ask him to do so. Suffice to say, he came to my room and we talked.
We spoke and he informed me that his father once again kicked him out of the house and thus, he is once again homeless. He is 18 yrs old so his dad can legally kick him out, but the history of abuse from his dad is such that kicking him out is a regular occurrence.
During our conversation I asked him point blank if he is clean (free of meth) and he told me he is, moreover, he took the initiative and rolled up his sleeves to show me there are no track marks from needles. Man I was so freaking ecstatic that I just grabbed him and praised him. He reached around and gave me a hug and laughed and said he is proud of himself too. DAMN THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!
He also told me that after we visited a week ago and he got pissed with me for not giving him money that he was demanding, he ripped up the paper I gave him with my phone number. However, soon thereafter, he said, he needed me and as he sat staring at the phone trying desperately to remember my phone number but he couldn't. Instead, he told me, he remembered what I told him when I gave him my number -- "you never know when you'll need a friend" and he felt the loss of not having me there when he needed a friend.
I also discussed my conversation with the Douche Bag who has been sexually abusing him and I told him that I confronted the (you know what) about what he has been doing to this kid and told him to knock his crap off. Well, word got to me tonight that when the kid asked the Douche Bag to buy him some alcohol, the Douche Bag told him no and that because he (the kid) was hanging around me he (the Douche Bag) would not help him with such things any more. I WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!!
Of course the kid is far from out of the woods with this Douche Bag because he will use his addictions to lure him back into the clutches of his control, as it is his pattern of behavior. But at least this time victory was achieved here. And yes, the kid asked me to buy him some alcohol too, but he did not cop an attitude when I told him hell no I would not buy him alcohol. I told him life sucks so he might as well get use to it cause I am not buy him any alcohol. He smiled.
I told him there are two parts to him, i.e. on one hand he is a complete asshole in how he treats people and he does exactly what he knows he should not do, but then on the other hand he is a really cool kid who is well behaved and wants to improve his life. I told him that somehow we need to find a way for him to keep being the cool kid that he is inside -- the kid with enormous potential.
I drove him around a lot today and man the kid would not stop laughing and joking around with me. He was having a really good time. It was good to see. I bought him lunch and dinner, and he is fast asleep on the couch right now, as it is 3:50 in the morning. Tomorrow I will make him biscuits and gravy for breakfast.
I told him tonight that if he would meet me half way here I would likely pay his rent for a month to help him get his feet on the ground; get a job, and become self-sufficient, but I do not know where his head it at in what he wants to do. He told me point blank that he does not know either. He is sitting on the fence and while I hate it very much, I know that he has to make the choice in the direction he wants to go here.
However, for at least tonight I know he is safe, free of meth, and not being sexually abused so yeah, today was a very good day.
I am very disappointed to say the least and feel extremely bad over what is happening, but I know I have tried to help this kid, but he has to want help, accept help, and put the help to good use. He is not doing so and continues to deliberately violate the terms of his probation. As the adult here, who was his sponsor, it puts me in a very difficult position that can cause me to loose the guardianship.
if the kid changes his mind later then I will consider helping him, maybe. I did give him his cross back and told him that I had hoped I could give it back when it meant something to do so. He did not even bother to say thank you for my buying his cross back from the pawnshop, for him.