You have good reason to be scared... when my fiancee's ordeal came to light, his lawyer assured us that he could get him probation (no prison time)... fast forward not even a year ($15,000 for the lawyer alone, another $1,000 for counselling) and he was sentenced to 5 years in prison and another 10 on probation.

Its a good thing to be positive, but don't get your hopes too far up.

Two to six months for molesting two young ladies is an awfully light sentence, so I don't know.

But the wisest move your husband made was getting counseling immediately----and VOLUNTARILY----- after these charges surfaced. That shows that he realizes he has a problem and wants to address that problem.

Let us know how this turns out.

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Two to 6 months on work release sounds like a pretty light sentence. And you're very fortunate that he can get counseling now and doesn't have to wait many years behind bars to get help. It seems that sentencing is highly variable according to where you live. If you lived in my area, your husband would be looking at possibly 40 years prison. Also, people on the registry seem to be treated more harshly in some areas of the country than others.

Don't let the stories on here scare you. There are many ways to survive this. The most important thing is getting help with the emotional part. Are you getting some counseling? I haven't left counseling since all of this happened with my husband over 4 years ago.

Sounds like you could benefit from some counseling, too. I can't minimize the potential for the hardships you may have, but I emphasize that you MAY NOT have them. Either way, its best to keep your head on your shoulders. Sometimes you need someone else to help you do that.

My husband was falsely accused and naively talked to the police, answering questions like, "do you think it's pkssible you may have accidentally..." with answers like "I suppose so" Anyway, it went to trial and got a hung jury. He ended up taking a plea to a misdemeanor of Indecent Assault. And got 3 mos. in County. The worst thing was not knowing during the 18 month process. Once he was sentenced, sure it sucked but at least we knew.

Thank you all for responding. I really do appreciate it. Yes Peekachu, I have had some counseling from our Pastor at church but not much and it has been a couple of months. I feel things catching up to me. It was very hard to help my husband complete the pre-sentencing questionnaire especially the part where he had to describe in his words what happened. With all the meetings with the lawyer and the hearings and helping with paperwork, I am feeling like I am the guilty one also. Especially after having to sell almost everything that we own.

Oh, wow. Yeah, as the wife, you go through a tremendous amount yourself...the whole gamut of emotions. Its like you lose the boundaries of who you are...and sometimes other people will trounce on your boundaries as well. I couldn't believe how many people wanted ME to be to blame for what happened. Very few people had concern for my well-being and were, in fact, amazingly insensitive.

Some of you know I ended up hospitalized in the psychiatric unit for four days after my husband was arrested. One thing they did was have a number of people listen to my story. I really felt like at least one of these people was trying to get me to say something to incriminate myself---and there I am in the hospital because I can't cope. Even the psychiatrist made some remarks about child molesters that even I, in my fledgling study of the topic, knew were not true.

After something like this happens, its very important to look to your own needs. However, the sex offender mythology pervades even the professionals who are charged to look after us (and who we pay a lot of money to!) As the wife of a sex offender, you have to be very, very careful and always remind yourself that, while you love and support your husband, he is NOT you. You are NOT him.

He made his choices independent of you. People and situations will try to trick you into assuming guilt. The whole thing for us is a huge lesson in standing in our own power. You cannot give your power away (let other people or situations convince you that you did wrong). Once you do, you cannot help anyone else.

Jimnjanna, I assume you are Janna. You are not Jim. Its OK to help, but its also OK to stand on your own away from him. After all, he made his own choices without you, didn't he?

You are just at the beginning of all this. Eventually, things will work out better.

Thinking of you!

Thank you Peekachu, Your words hit home, I really needed them. When my husband met with the pre-sentencing investigator, we think it went really well. He was on time which she noticed and thanked him for. The meeting was supposed to last 1 1/2 hrs to 2 hrs, he was there only 1/2 hour. She looked over the 30 page questionnaire he filled out and told him that she was impressed because everything was filled out and it was legible. She asked him a few questions & then said that she had everything she needed & she ended the meeting.

My husband had started the counseling for sex offenders and then over the holidays for awhile it had stopped, partially our fault due to money and partially the counselors because they kept cancelling appointments, but he has started back up again this last week.

I understand this is a huge lesson in standing on my power and I am working on standing in God's power mostly. Without God to help me through this we would have been divorced when everything came to light.

You speak very wisely and I appreciate that. I am scared of the future, but I keep reminding myself that God is in control and I know he is working on me to make me a better person & closer to him. That's the main thing that is getting me through this.

Thank you!