Families of SOs Community Group
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Hi! Suffice it to say, I never thought I would be here. Yesterday, I found out my son has been involved with a 17 yr old. Police are involved and we are waiting to see what happens. Our world has been turned upside down! If the roles were reversed, I would want the guy strung up! So now I'm trying to reconcile this whole thing.
I think this was a situation where he thought he was 'rescuing' this girl from a terrible home life. He had been friends with the family since he was a teenager (the oldest son was his friend). He hadn't really been in touch that often over the years, but recently, the family had some issues, so he started going there more often this past year to help out/support them. Over the past few months, he connected with the younger sister and one thing led to another. Unfortunately, the age of consent is 18. They also live in different states.
There's a whole list of things they can charge him with, including transporting a minor across state lines. But there's also a lot of craziness with the whole thing. My son has even talked to the cops on the phone. As far as I know, the girl was questioned for at least 5 hours last night, as she was alleging an abusive household/mother, and she even wants to try to get custody of her younger siblings when she turns 18.
I don't know where this will all go. I'm just afraid the girl will call my son, crying; and he will try to rescue her again and get in even more trouble.
All I can do is support my son the best I can; but I'm so angry that he did this! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!
As for the mother who initiated this whole thing, by stating an unknown man lured her daughter away via the internet - which has been proven to be a complete lie; she just lost her 4 hour weekly supervised visits with the other two kids by CPS - yesterday! We also believe it can be shown that she gave consent for the relationship. Seems like the only people that didn't know about this relationship were me, my husband and the father.
Thanks for the link. We just have to give it time (that hopefully we have) before approaching the father about marriage. He's overwhelmed right now, and we don't want to lose his support.
Maybe this whole marriage thing is a pie in the sky tactic—but you know the DA is going to try to use everything they can to convict your son. That is their game, they are very good at it and they hate to lose. Your son is nothing but a number for them to look tougher on crime. The DA won’t even take the time to think about the morality of convicting and putting your son on the registry for a crime that isn’t a crime in a lot of states and most of Europe. They will put your son on the registry, puff out their chest, and be proud they “protected” the public from another sex offender.
I don’t condone 30 year old men sleeping with high school seniors but I also don’t think they are a scourge on society that need to be in prison and then put on the registry.
I pray for patience for your son. This period he is in right now was the toughest time for me, the being in limbo. Not knowing when or if the police were going to give me the opportunity to turn myself in or if they were going to arrest me. The not knowing drove me insane. I had to constantly stay busy to keep from going crazy.
-Independent
Right now, he's working fulltime at one job, took on a part time job, and just started 3 college courses. So yes, he's keeping himself as busy as possible! It sounds like you know EXACTLY what he is going through, which I appreciate greatly. We are doing every thing we can to help him keep a positive attitude and give him support.
And I agree with you that he shouldn't have slept with her; but we can't change what happened. We can only move forward.