Ok Dan...hope you don't mind me picking your brain ....lol ...a couple of questions for ya...

Did you/do you have a significant other while in prison? If so, how did you two get by with limited communication?
What would be the best advice you could give someone who's loved one has a long prison sentence?

No I don't & didn't.....I had pen pals but none of them worked out but.....I can tell you from talking to other guys whil2i was in there & since being out.....its a hard thing but it can be done.....even with someone with a long sentence......how long have you know this person & how did y'all meet?

I met K a little over a year ago through pen pal letters. We were great friends at first then his phone calls brought us closer. It's wasn't intentional.
Neither of us like drama so we're always pleasant over the phone. K tells me that he has known many inmates that have had breakdowns over the phone because of their girlfriends on the outside. Loyalty means everything to both of us.
I know he's mentally strong...he has to be. Drama is the last thing I'd ever want for him.
He's serving an indefinite sentence. I'm speculating he's got another 10 yrs if he behaves before he's out.

We talk every couple of days for 20-30 min, have visits once a month and I'm looking forward to having our private family visits approved in the near future where I can spend 3 days with him every 2 months.

What got you by all those years inside? Did you have support from family? Friends?

I had a little support from my family they sent me some money from time to time but rarely any letters ......I survived all 10yrs because I wanted to!! My will to survive & to try & get back to a life of somewhat normalcy but when I got out my life was turned upside down.....I survived being in there because of my faith.....although that too was tested .....let tell ya y'all will be tested in ways that you want see coming

Word of wisdom & warning & not to say your guy is like this but alot of guys in there they 'know' how to say all the right thing in letters & on phone......they have master the art telling lies to get what they want in the end......even if they never ask you for anything outright they have ways of doing it.....once again not all are like that.....but jus we guarded & take things slow.....I know life happens & you get carried away with your feelings & stuff

If you don't mind me asking how old is he & how old are you? & What state are y'all from?

@Ms.901996C I know you never asked but the hubz to be and I are in year 6 and have 10 more to go. Yes it's rough and there are times I wanted to take out my can of whoop a$$, but I really couldn't because he did what he did when we were broken up.

For me the best thing about this is we've come to know each other better than we know ourselves! We've been best friends since 2011 and life happened to where we were apart like I said we always were still together because we always still wrote each other at least 4 times a year!

I have a sperm donor and been ,married twice yet the hubz to be is the truest man of all of them put together! He loves me and all my insecurities/mood swings/bitch fest letters and me being 3 fries short of a Happy Meal!

I feel when a man loves all of you 100% flaws/insecurities the sky's the limit, no matter what the naysayers tell you! Plus when you're passed 40 you can really see through that person to see if they're a total a$$hole.

As far as what Dan said about "....they have master the art telling lies to get what they want in the end..." I had that in my head for so long that I almost hurt the hubz so bad he was ready to walk away. He wrote me a letter and he told me to ask myself these questions, "What do I have to gain from you when I get out?" Why have I stayed in touch all these years even when you started a family?" "What do I need your letters because I could have tons of girls writing and sending me money?"

So in closing I'll say sit back and ask yourself what does he really have to gain from being with you? Is it he'll be homeless? He's broke? Etc., etc. Or could he just be like my hubz and just love you for you :)

@gregsbaby as I mentioned not all are like that there are those that are sincere about what they tell you & all, I jus know from being around those kind in there & listening to there wild stories & stuff....& granted even there stories you have to take with a grain of salt.....I'm not trying scare you from trying to find love in these places jus giving a perspective view from the other side

I don't know it all & in reality I don't have much experience in relationship........my experience is listening & being around & seeing things from a different perspective from your average person

I knew I was an escape for my fiancé the first time he got out - no rose-colored glasses on me. With his return for 10-30 years, our relationship has grown beyond anything I ever hoped for. I choose to trust in this process - I am exactly whereI am supposed to be.

I'm in Canada Dan. K and I have been writing for over a year now and we're still getting to know each other.
I have to agree with Gregsbaby when she says that women over 40 can usually see through the manipulation. Haha I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything but I'm probably the best thing that ever happened to him in or out of prison so he'd have a lot to lose to cross me in any way. Besides, he and his family and friends have told me that he's never had or wanted a relationship while in prison. He says prison destroys all relationships. I believe he's never had a relationship while incarcerated but I don't believe he's never wanted one.

Everyone wants love and support.

Not going to lie....There have been times where him manipulating me crossed my mind but like Gregsbaby he's proven to me by his actions that he's doing everything he can to better his situation for our relationship. It's not all talk.

K right prison does destroys relationship & alot of other things if you don't have a strong foundation I'm glad that you Ms. 901996C & Gregsbaby found someone to love inside I'm genuinely happy when people can find happiness in places like prison.......I'm the unfortunate one who will never find happiness or love again....& I'm not even in prison anymore

Oh don't say that Dan!
Anything can happen. God works in mysterious ways (and I'm not a religious woman) lol

Sometimes you find it in the oddest places. I mean, what were the chances of a "well to do", highly educated, professional woman finding love behind a prison wall?
It certainly wasn't my intention. Some might call me stupid. After all...what do I have to gain from having a relationship with an inmate? But...it has happened.
You're still young! Have you looking into the Law of Attraction? Everything you think about, you bring about?
I'm sending you good vibes Dan. :)

It is possible to keep a relationship going with someone doing time but the big but its bloody hard work and you need to be honest and open with each other. Hell some of the things I had to tell my man over the phone and go into details would probably spin most people out but thats part of having a good relationship and being honest.
Dan it is possible for you to find love but i can also understand if you don't want to go down that road.

I liked reading all of this. Dan, how does a man cope with 10 years? That’s how much my partner got. It’s so long!