I'm not a parent of someone in prison but I wanted to give you a hug and say that I am really sorry

I think acceptance will be important … His life hasn't ended but it has certainly changed

I would try and see if there's a support group in RL for Families of Prisoners... It may be good support for you

Another hug......xo

Thanks for your kindness and concern, I am praying that God will help me see this from His perspective, “the big picture” and how this will be for our good and His glory

So sorry to hear you will have to live with this. I'm sure your faith will be tested but I hope it will survive and you will end up stronger. Hope that others are around on this board that can be comrades in facing this. I joined when I was afraid my son would be charged but fortunately that didn't happen.

Your attitude so far seems like a really good start. Recently I was at a Bible study where we were talking about how some people see God as a sort-of divine chessmaster. Most people didn't like that idea because it makes it seem that God is cruel, and that we don't have autonomy, to think that way. But I thought about it a lot afterward and it actually helped me to accept something that I hated but couldn't change. If God is a super-master-chessmaster of the universe, he can see so many moves ahead of any of us, and so many possibilities to get to where He wants to be by the end of the game. If I have the faith to believe that He will accomplish his ultimate purpose, then I'm more willing to trust that even if myself or my children make an incredibly costly and stupid mistake (such as it sounds like your son did), God knows other ways to get us to where He wants us to be in the end. Hope that makes sense and gives you a bit of hope.

It is very hard. I feel your pain. Our son is 6 years into an 8.5 year sentence. Though not as long as what your son is facing, I'm very (unfortunately) familiar prison. Is he sentenced at 100%, 75% or 50%? Will he be eligible for "good time" by taking classes?

The best idea I've found is to just support him as he goes thru the intake process. Once he gets to his parent prison, life settles down more for both of your.

I'm sorry you are going thru this

Thanks friends for your encouragement, I was feeling so alone but reading your comments helps me to know that others face similar challenges and perhaps worse circumstances... I am thankful that my son is alive and in a safe place and on medication to help with his mental illness. It’s unfortunate that the jury felt he was sane at the time of the crime but as a parent I feel like something snapped inside of him. There are some questions that will never be answered until eternity...I’m just thankful to know that when this life is over, we will be together again, and we will be able to play ball together, and go fishing, and do all the fun things that dads and sons are supposed to do. Until then we persevere, because the best is yet to come!!!

Thanks brknhrt for the anology...it does give me something to think about! God Bless You!

Dear Cantbreathe1972, Love, you are in the right place. This life can be so hard and the feeling you have is something each of us parents can come close to understanding. You will be able to breathe again. Both you and your son can continue on one day at a time. You are right, you will be together again.

Dear Cantbreathe1972

I know how you feel. My son is in prison for life. It’s been 15 years since he was sentenced and yet it still feels like yesterday.

Right before Christmas I dreamed he was out and I felt so happy. Then I woke up. And life felt just as gray and cold as before.

But God helps us through. Some days I can find joy and laughter in the simplest of things. And other days I feel like I can’t breathe.

My prayers will include you and all of us who are suffering. At least we have each other, because people who are not in this situation cannot quite understand the raw pain and agony.

May God bless you and keep you. Keep up the good fight.

I just joined DS and when I saw this support group, I knew this was going to be my go to. Of course, several of the others are extremely relevant, but when you have a loved one incarcerated, it seems only those in the same situation (no matter the charge) can relate. I'd love to low an update on your son and ask how this pandemic has affected you as well as others on here. My husband is serving time and what an adjustment!!
Anyway, my prayers are for you, your son, and for everyone in this situation. At times I feel like we are their only advocates

Hi, I feel your pain. My 18 y/o brother was arrested in January for murder. He hasn't been sentenced yet, but I'm assuming it will be something similar. I'm sorry you are going through this pain it really sucks. I can relate to the feeling of just wanting to curl up and die like you said. I don't really have many words of encouragement, I'm really lost too. But seeing this board helped me feel a little better in that I am not alone in this. So, you aren't alone in these feelings and it's just one day at a time right? I hope that your son is doing okay.

I can relate my son is serving a life sentence and I find it hard to live knowing he is serving a life sentence. I feel hopeless. I have hired two lawyers cost me 40,000 but nothing. He is in Florida and I am in New Jersey which makes it twice as hard to see him. I miss him so much. He has done 17 years so far. All because of the three strike rule. I disagree with their ruling and find it unjust. So yes I know exactly what you are feeling. Pray

Hi,
I'm new to this group. My prayers are with you. As a parent i can feel your pain. God preforms miracles if we continue to believe and have faith. He's done 15 years so he may be eligible for parole. Let's pray on this . Stay faithful.

New here too but don’t know yet what my son is facing. So scared.