Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
So, I went to my doctor visit yesterday afternoon. I spilled my guts about everything that has been going on to the doctor. I asked her if there was something that would make this easier for me. After telling her everything she decided it was not necessary to have me on medication. She said this is all normal and that I would lose my symptoms in a couple of weeks. She gave me an appointment to see her then. What in the world? I told her I'm not eating much, I'm getting dizzy because of that. I am also anemic so I am deficient. I told her I cry at all times of the day and night. I wake up crying. I told her I have three kids with a monster of an ex boyfriend, thankfully I never married! I told her that my love is now incarcerated and I can hardly get out of bed to go to work. I am at work and most of the time I cannot focus. I can't do my school work because I can't focus. I am in terrible need of some help... She didn't think I met the criteria... WOW! Should I even attempt a second opinion? I hope I hear from him soon. It is agonizing not hearing from him.... I've written to him to call me more but no word. What is going on there... This is torture. The unknown is terrifying! I check my mail every day waiting for him to write... waiting... I feel so alone and forgotten... He wrote and told me he loves me but now not a word. No application to visit. no phone call... I'm so scared for him... I love him and my heart is breaking each day... my tears keep coming just to start all over again minutes after...
Just be aware that the phones do go down a lot and they don't have that many phones to a unit the other thing is he might only be able to call at set times.....that's something you can aske him in a letter to him.
Yes I still check the mail everyday....and I've been doing this for almost 3 years!
Hang in there and get that second opinion!
Maybe she sees that you are in the early phases of this and really doesn't want to medicate you if not necessary. Yes, you think it is. But nowadays there are so many people wanting those kinds of drugs for other reasons, they are being doubly careful who they give them to. Addiction levels are high, especially in younger people like yourself. They are careful not to give them out if they think what you are going through is a normal process of grief. And yes, this is grief, like grieving a death. It is similar because your life has suddenly been ripped apart. Nothing is the same as it was just a short while ago. You haven't seen him, can't call him, and this is like grief. When a person dies, sure many end up on meds, but some just go through the natural grieving process. Maybe that's how the dr is looking at it.
I am not saying that you are not desperately in need of something. I just think that one or two months from now, if we can get you through this, you will be better. I was just like you. Sat and stared at that phone, wishing it to ring, praying that it would ring, screaming at it. I would race to that mail box every single day. I would cry for hours a day, at home, in the car, at work, everywhere.
Then it gradually gets better. Especially after they get out of assesment and evaluation and have more free time to get to a phone, or write.
The dizzy part is probably from the stress and the not eating. You have to force yourself even if you stay mainly on liquids and possibly toast or something. Get some sort of nourishment in you. Try even buying those nutritional drinks like breakfast canned drinks. Something. That's another part of our baby steps regime. Remember?
I want to hug you and scold you. But I do applaude you for going to the doctor, making that step.
Gosh, if I knew your guy's name, I would write to him and scold him for not being more attentive to your needs, if he is just being self absorbed and feeling sorry for himself now. I would explain to him what is going on with you. But I don't. Lucky him.
You did your part'; you did the right thing explaining everything to the doctor. She failed you.
I have worked with physicians and known them personally for over 20 years, and this women is not a good doctor. How did she expect you to get better without some help? All my doctor friends that I know would have at least tried something, even if it was very mild. When a patient comes to you and is asking for help, it is almost malpractice to do nothing.
If you have made an appointment with her, cancel. Do not ever see this woman again.
It is normal to be sad and a little depressed in your situation, but when that depression and anxiety causes a person to be paralyzed and almost incapacitated, it is time for a doctor to be a real doctor and try some prescription meds to attempt to alleviate your problem. He or she does not have to pull out the RX pad and overdo it by writing for a potent med or a bunch of meds, but he or she should be compelled to try something. This "doctor" did nothing.
Trust me, cmorton, your situation has evolved past the minor depression stage. I have dealt with hundreds of depressed patients and the doctor either just does not care or is incompetent. She really did nothing for you except take your money, and that disappoints me greatly. If she said you do not meet the criteria, I would like to know who does. This is nonsense.
At one time you mentioned your regular doctor was busy. Make an appointment with him/her. He knows your history and he will help. Keep searching for a physician that will help. THEY ARE OUT THERE.
Find another doctor, but do something. Finding a doctor and seeking help is one of those baby steps we talked about. It is at least progress and a step in the right direction.
This doctor you saw yesterday did not even give you something for the anemia? Some type of iron medication to get your hematocrit up? Wow, what a doctor.
When you told her you can hardly get out of bed and that you are having problems focusing and doing your school work, that should have been the telltale signs that you need something.
Let me tell you something about physicians---there are a lot of uncaring and just plain bad ones out there. I am so sorry that you found one of those.
Sit down, take a deep breath, and try to relax. You are working yourself into a frenzy about this. You HAVE to get through this---for not only your man's sake but for the kids also.
Print out and read and re-read IhateWisconsin's excellent post. It had a lot of good points in it.
Keep in touch.
rewdiazepam
Shortness of breath is another cardinal sypmtom of anemia. Your blood does not have enough hemoglobin to carry the proper amount of oxygen your body needs, hence the shortness of breath.
If you know you are anemic, you most likely have iron deficiency anemia. Go to Wal Mart and get some iron supplement. They are cheap---Feosol is one.
It is also important to keep eating a good diet. You may not be eating the way you should.
rewdiazepam
Your guy for whatever reason, ignoring your needs of simple things such as a letter is not being very concerned about you. Obviously he is going through his own hell, or there are other reasons for his not writing. BUT then again, men have a hard time finding things to write about, especially when they feel they have nothing to write because they are sitting doing nothing. Mine said that. I just wanted loving words, or even a short hello. He didn't like to write. He has a terrible time spelling words right and was embarassed. But he did write more at first than later. Then he got busy. Treatment classes were so demanding of his time. He had alot to read and write. Pages and pages to write. One report was 40 pages. His mind was so busy with getting these done and doing it right, that writing to me, especially since we talked on the phone was not on his list of things to do.
I don't know but I would call and see if you can go online and get the visiting application. A few prisons do it that way, or if THEY can send it to you, but many prisons the inmates have to send them.
At our prisons the inmate mail is sealed by them, and it isn't read by the guards before sending to us, but some prisons do read their outgoing mail before allowing it to leave. They could be just messing with you. Oh believe it, some of those unethical guards love messing with us.
If you want, send me a private message with his name and address and I will send a nice letter to him, trying to explain what you need and why this is important to you. I have done this before.
Here is the way it is. I do not know how you presented yourself to the doctor. I cannot fathom that a physician would just not do ANYTHING to get you moving FORWARD on the process of helping. ANY step forward would have been progress.
All the doctors I have even known would have given you SOMETHING to at try to help. Maybe it would have been the MILDEST med at the LOWEST dose, which would not hurt a fly, but just the fact that they were addressing the problem would have made you feel much more comfortable.
I know a lot of patients "doctor shop" and maybe that was part of her problem, BUT antidepressants are NOT addicting and NOT dangerous, so that could not have been her excuse. Nobody, even drug addicts do not take antidepressants to get a high because it is impossible. Hell, antidepressants are not even a controlled substance---and it is because there is no potential for abuse.
Most anti anxiety drugs (Valium, Xanax, clonazepam, Ativan or lorazepam) yes, are controlled substances and on schedule 4. But she could have started you off an a VERY low dosage and put no refills on it to monitor your use. As it is, she did nothing.
As you can tell, this stresses me out.
A doctor is a piss poor excuse for a doctor if he or she is afraid or reluctant to prescribe needed meds.
Your emotional unheaval has gone past the "normal" stage. Maybe the doctor thinks you need to handle this better or reach inside yourself and find some patience.
This is one reason I am glad I am out of the pharmaceutical business. They are graduating too many doctors that do not want to be doctors.
BTW, listen to IhateWisconsin. She has many of the answers here.
rewdiazepam
Hugs,
Pat
My doctor immediately placed me on meds, and followed up with me for several months to see how I was adjusting and trying different meds to see what worked best for me.
If your doctor knows anything, that your brain chemistry will change and you won't be able to snap out of it naturally. When a person can't focus, sleep or eat, those are major issues that need to be addressed.
Until you can eat, drink Ensure. It's not heavy, and will give you the nutrients you need. I drank these in the beginning until I could finally eat something. My uncle is also on a regimen of several cans of ensure while he is on chemo & radiation therapy, do even doctors will recommend drinking it.
I am on this forum in an effort to learn about the subject matter. Not having been incarcerated myself or knowing anyone who has, this forum is an eye-opener.
Certain antidepressant meds will open your appetite. When I get stressed I suffer from anorexia {NOT anorexia nervosa} and the antidepressant medication I take that is effective on major depression and opens up my appetite is Remeron/Mirtapene.
You need to find a *competent* doctor.