Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Ever have your loved one somewhat push you away emotionally because of stress? I can tell by this last letter my love has let these back to back lockdowns get him down. I tell him to write more so he can feel connected to us, but he only does about once a week maybe twice. I've been writing 5 days sometimes 6 days a week for the last 4 weeks with the lockdowns to encourage him and communicate etc. and at first he was really glad, now I feel like it's a lot of pressure on him to get letters everyday from me because he feels obligated to write and respond to what I'm saying. Some things I write about he rather just discuss in person. That's the problem, with the lockdowns, we haven't seen each other in a month or talked on the phone. My thought was that as long as this is going on, we need to write each other as much as possible to keep communication open, but he disagrees and wants to just wait until we're face to face. I honestly think his mind is preoccupied and that I need to stop the letters for now and just wait until we can see each other. Anyone been in this situation where you had to give your man/loved one space in regards to letters? Funny ... you figure that they have enough space already with them being incarcerated! But I figure, only he knows what he is truly up against in there, so I do good to just chill out on the letters.
He is stressed with all the lockdowns. I was never too stressed in prison, but there were a few times when I just was not emotionally up to writing, even though my lady friend was writing every day. It was nothing against her or that I no longer cared, but I just could not write a letter.
To this day I cannot really explain it. After a couple of weeks I was OK.
Prison is a very stressful environment. You are put in a place with a bunch of people you have never even seen before----and most of them you probably do not like very much. You have to follow all the rules and keep from getting hurt in there. You are continually worried about how things will be when you are released and yes, I don't mind saying that there is some fear there. All this just adds up to a stressful environment.
I would cut my letters down to two or three a week. He will write when he feels better.
Try not to worry. One thing for sure----you have him ALL to yourself, as I never saw any good-looking ladies walking around in prison. As a matter of fact, I never say any.
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Your husband is probably frustrated, angry, and very stressed. He needs some time to process all these feelings, to get past the strain of the lockdowns. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. He is just doing what he needs to do to get through this ordeal.