That's awful. Some people just aren't cut out for this waiting and worrying and not having a life with them. Maybe it's better, but he won 't think that right now. Maybe she thinks she wants to break up with him, but will miss him and it won't be over. It's a hard adjustment for everyone. Some just can't do it. But those of us who genuinely love them can. Wait and see how it turns out. It may not be over.

I don't know that there is anything to say to him to make it better right now. He will have to go through this whatever way works for him. He will be depressed and sad. That's not going to be easy. The guys in there will tell them their stories of being dumped, or cheated on. He will hear it all. I don't know if it will help to hear it, but he will hear he isn't the only one.

Ihate is right he will hear it all from the guys in. Yes some are not cut out for this ride at all then you get ones who go through all the waiting and visits then only for the guys to find out that they have been cheated on the whole time......yes i do know of a few cases of this.
the best thing you can do for him right now is listen to him and just b there for him..make sure he knows its not the end of the world things can seam worst in there then what they would out hear for them.

Thank you. Yesterday was rough. He said he completely understood where she was coming from but it hurts terribly none the less. I was thinking the same thing Suchaslife -that I would rather she be truthful then lead him on for a long time just to find out she hasn't been faithful. Life goes on.

It's hard for him, I'm sure, but she is entitled to move on. I hope that your son is okay. And as the others have said, who knows what the future holds?

Thats true angeladam.

As a mom, we want to fix things when our kids hurt. My son went to prison for four years. He and his then gf had an 8 month old daughter. She cried when it was getting close to him to have to go to prison. She cried with him and all of us when it was the weekend before he had to go in. But she was young. He wasn't gone long and we heard she was cheating a lot. Not just one guy, but quite a few. A couple of his friends even were with her.

I would see her posts on fb, showing her out drinking, partying, leaving her daughter who knows where, totally trashed, and thinking it was so fun and funny. And yet, was taking his calls, promising to go see him soon, but never went, except once. He would get ready for her visit, wait, and she wouldn't come. Sometimes she would answer his call and have some lame excuse. Over and over.

Turned out that she got caught in the worst way. She was in a horrible car wreck with one of the guys she was cheating on him with. The guy DIED! It was on the news and in all the newspapers. He would of found out somehow. She was injured bad, in the hospital, so I knew he had to be told. He called me that day... I didn't know what to do or say to him. Then his friend called me. I said don't tell him til we figure it out. But my son called him back shortly after and so he was told.

I was so proud of my son. I was driving down to MN from Wisconsin, to go get my granddaughter to take care of her because her family had to be at her side.She had many injuries.

My son called me and told me that he knew, and it was ok. He was just glad she was alive. That their daughter needed her mommy. He said he had figured she was not going to wait for him. He knew before he left, sort of. They had made plans to marry after he got out, but he had known she was too wild, and too dependent on having the attention of guys, and them waiting on her and helping her to wait four years. He said it was ok. He put himself in prison. But I reminded him that she had made drug runs for him too. That she had lived pretty damn well off the drug money he made, that eventually put him in prison. He said, It's ok mom.

I found out awhile later that he had called his dad, my ex, and had asked him to send her flowers, and he told his dad what to put on the card. It said " I am glad you are ok. I will always love you. I want you to recuperate and live a good life". He sent the flowers. She cried.

RIght after the accident when she had woke up from being unconscious, it wasn't the guy that died she cried out for. It was my son. She was young, immature, needy, an alcoholic, and scared.

She isn't my favorite person. She now, years later gives my son a lot of grief about the child support if it's late, because he moved on, found his true love, has a good life, nice home, nice things, and more kids. And he is an excellent Daddy to all of his kids, and his gf's kids too.

He said he could of reacted many ways. He could of got in fights, because of anger of this situation. He could of fell into a deep depression. But he took his blame for being in prison, leaving her and his daughter, and all of us.

If they truly did something to be put in prison, they usually really do grow up fast, and admit they are there because they did something to be there, and in my son's case he said something worse would of happened to him, or he would of done something worse to someone else if he hadn't been arrested.

They go through many emotions in there. They do a lot of soul searching and growing up.

I don't know how old your son is, but hopefully he will find these thoughts to get through it easier. I also don't know if your son really did anything to be there, or if he shouldn't of been arrested.

My fiance is also in prison right now. He has went through many classes, treatment, had to write papers on his actions, how he could of changed things, and many more things. He has had to really dig into his head for many reasons while in there. It has made him depressed, sometimes angry, sometimes bitter, sometimes really apologetic. We have survived several times he has been in and out and back in again. But many don't.

My son probably was too young back when he went in for this serious relationship. Just because they had a baby didn't make them ready for life. But now, this boy turned into a man, and he is awesome. It took a lot of tears, stress, and frustration for this mom to finally get the son that I am SO proud of. His name is Andy, by the way.

I don't know any of the particulars of your son's story. His age, what he did to go to prison, or anything about him and his gf. But I thought this might help to know that my son DID do bad things, he did mess up, he did have a baby to think about but he didn't while drug dealing and other things. He did have a very young, irresponsible gf. But he has flourished and he does say it was a lot to do with being locked up, stopped from the illegal stuff, and made to have time to think about what he wanted his life to be.

Andy now has 3 daughters...( ooops with 3 different mama's), two stepkids, one of his daughter's is his now gf's daughter too, and they are expecting a baby boy in March. And she has 2 kids from before. He has stepped up to the plate, turned into a hard working man and very loving father.

I didn't think he would ever amount to anything. I figured he would either die doing the things he did, or end up in prison forever. He has made a 100% turn around. He is now a real homebody, helps his grandparents a lot, is a wonderful person and friend to many.

And that ex that cheated on him and dumped him soon after he went to prison... she is a mess. She lives at her brother's house, with her loser mom. They all drink all the time, most don't work, SHE is selling drugs with her now bf. They live in a really trash filled house, and I cringe when my granddaughter has to be there. She is so jealous of my son's good life now. And I laugh!! The best revenge on her for her actions is HE IS HAPPY, and has a better life without her.

Oh my goodness Ihatewisc. I'm so happy your son is doing well and that prison turned his life around. Actually HE turned his life around and for that you can be grateful. Thank you for sharing your story. My son is very young and so is his girlfriend. She is still taking his calls and says she will remain his friend but it was just too stressful for her. I get that and I also understand that she does have the right to move on. She is a lovely young girl who deserves to be happy.

I hoped my story would be encouraging to you. Showing there is hope even when they have done terrible things. I am now so proud of him. I still worry about him going back into drugs. He is under a lot of pressure being the only one supporting them and having another baby on the way, and paying child support to one woman, and trying to get his business running where it pulls in enough money regularly. He is struggling, but says he has too much to lose to go back to his old ways. He is even trying to quit smoking, which he has done since he was 13. He says sucking on carmel lollipops is helping him. Instead of a cigarette in his mouth, he sucks on those and duh, they taste better too. He has gone through bags of them. I suppose now his teeth will rot away. HAHA