Thats a good thing it will go pretty fast....it might not seem like it but it will.

Im really happy, yet now i dont know where our relationship is.. he has another case coming up for assualt (it was on the same night as the driving offence) and max he could get is 3 years. We have a court day wednesday. So if he gets caught guilty i cant stand by him.

Oh no so sorry to hear that! Maybe it'll be a short time too!

I dont want him to be away from me, idk if i can deal with being 22months away. Our relationship was not the best before hand. Can i have some advice? What would you do

I know that seems like a long time but it's really not. I'm by no means saying it's not going to be a long time in your mind because it will and I think all of us have looked at the calendar wanting the days to go faster knowing they won't! Are you in the same city/state where you can see him? My guy and I are 216 miles from each other as I'm in OH and he's in PA. All we have are cards/letters/pictures and few phone calls as he pays for them himself and has little money, however we're surviving and I'm going to be away from him for at least another 122 months, so if your love is strong and that's both of you because a one sided relationship dealing with all this isn't going to stay together for the long haul. Not all couples survive this kind of thing but you both have to really want it to work! I have to tell myself everyday we love each other and it really is going to be okay when that time comes. I'll admit it's hard for me because I'm an insecure person but for some reason the cosmos or fairies or whoever have kept us in touch and in love for all these years so everything's going to be okay, no not perfect or course, but okay! You said you guys weren't at your best, and you don't have to say if you don't want to, but you guys are going to have to address whatever issue or issues you have right now to see where you stand. You don't want to sweep the problems under the rug and wait til he gets out because that'll be a million times worse.

This makes me tear up. It makes me so sad. Bcos im being so selfish. The worse time my babe can get is 22 months but my 21st birthday i want it t be special. 122months i dont know how you do it. Your a very strong woman and i love that it makes me feel as if i can bounce the energy back off you. Yeah hes in peterborough and im in bedford thats like a 20min drive. Our relationship was bad for example, monday i would work 10-6 and he would be out the night before come abck at 3am, and sleep all day so by the time i came home at 6 he was out again and it became a viscious cycle and i feel now as if he still dont understand how it made me feel crying myself to sleep! So and the days before he got arrested i didnt see him for atleast 3days bcos i was at work he was out etc. I dont want to hate him. I spent 5years chasing him. It was love at first sight! And i truly believe in my heart of hearts. Hes the one x

Aww don't be sad. You're not being selfish. I do know how I do it and it's because I have never loved a man the way I love him. Not my oldest's sons dad, not my first husband, and not my late husband. Don't get me wrong I loved my late husband but I wasn't in love with him and yes there is a difference believe it or not. There are times when I start feeling like poo and think of sending him a break up letter but of course I never do! It was funny one time when I told him I was never going to write him anymore he wrote back and told me to stop because he knows I won't lol! When you say he's out does that means he's hanging with his boys at the bar or something like that? Is this constant behavior? I'm all for my man having his own life in addition to ours, which is one of the components to make a healthy relationship, however if he's always out like that, that's not good and fair to you. Maybe ask him how he'd feel if you were doing the things he's doing. Ok I'm going to put on my mom hat for a minute just to tell you that a woman shouldn't have to chase a man. If a man wants you he's going to do anything and everything to let you know! My late husband was shy but he managed to get up enough nerve to ask for my phone number because for him it was love at first sight! 5 years is a very long time to chase someone and you shouldn't have had to do all that and put in all that time. I'll say I told my guy I love you first but I wasn't chasing him. Like I've said before we broke up in fall 2011 but for all these years he's done the "chasing" of me. When a man goes to the end of the earth doing something like that he's telling you you're his top priority and that's how it should be.

Why don't you sit down and write him a latter telling him all this? One advantage of him being where he is is that you do talk more and its a way to sort stuff out without it truning into a screaming match.
Its good that his close by my man was about a 4 hour drive used to get up at 2am to go see him.

Its just im so young and this shit is being sprung on me. Like its stressful as it is! And hearing the other ladies stories with their men away for 6+ years heres me getting upset about 10 - 24 months but its hard regardless of the time frame. We were both sort of chasing each other but i was the one doing it more, and he knows how loyal and mature i am. Just so angry he fucked up! How stupid can he be. Omg suchaslife 2am?! That is so far. Why do they ship them out so far? Here the max is 40mins away thats crazy how did you manage that

Its ok its hard no matter how long there in for its hard really hard.
Have you talked to him about how your feeling? Yes he fucked up but who hasn't? Its just that some people fuck up more then others.
Yep 2am.....and i still wake up at 2 am! Used to get up at that time drive up get my room for the night have some food then out to the prison for the day i did get to see him Saturday and Sunday but it was expensive so i could do it once a month.
They go where theres a bad for them your lucky that he will only be 40 min away. Just think if you guys get through this your relationship should be stronger but you do have to keep talking to him about how your feeling being able to talk to him about anything is a good thing.
Take it one day at a time.

Yeah we spoke today and we both feel as if we needed the chat but we were both beatin around the bush about it. Thats so true. I read this paragraph to my mum and she agreed with you(shes the type of person who gives one chance and one chancd only type of thing. So im glad you got her to come round and be more accepting omg. So is your relationship with your man out of prison better? Like is it stronger? The day he got released how was you feeling etc thats the sort of stuff i would wanna know i know i got 10months but im thinking ahead lol! Thank you for the advice. I really do appreciate it. Ylu and gregsbaby have been like mother figures to me and i am grateful!

Oh god! You just made me feel old! Lol
Our relationship is heaps stronger and we know each other way better than what most people would in well a normal relationship.
You just gottta be up front and tell him no beating around the bush thats just wasting time.

Haha sorry! Didnt mean it like that i meant it in a comforting way, as youve been through this situation so you can give the best advice! The key is communication

Lol its ok i had one of the guys at work ttell me iam old lol!
Yes you do have to talk lots....and about stuff you wouldn't normally have time to you have the time now so use it to your advantage.

Oh god lol, i dont want to go through this again its the worse feeling ever haha