Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
When a loved one has a problem in prison, many family members are reluctant to either talk to the prison officials or email them for fear of retaliation against their loved one. Some even fear that their loved one will get the reputation of being a snitch if his family calls about a problem.
If your loved one has a problem with medical or with a transfer, by all means call and attempt to get it rectified. Same goes if he is having a classification probglem. When you call, ask point blank questions. Be direct, but above all BE POLITE and civil. If you come off as an ass, they will slow play you and it will never get done.
Remember above all BE NICE AND BE TACTFUL. Prison officials do not respond well to crude language, loud outbursts, threats, or demands.
By being direct and point blank, they cannot evade your question or beat around the bush. If they don't know, ask them, "Who could I contact to fix this problem?" If they think you might be going over their head to find a solution, many times the problem will be fixed at the local level. Also threats rarely work against these people so threatening to go to the warden will probably cause more problems. Rather than threaten, just do it without saying anything.
If your loved one is having problems with a special medical diet in the kitchen, or as I said, with medical or a transfer, by all means contact them. The squeaky wheel gets the most grease and if you say nothing, nothing will ever be done---trust me on that.
Regarding a problem with the mail. Unless you think a letter has been lost, there is no reason to complain to the mail room. There are too many methods they can use to cover up any problem. Complaining about the mail being slow is counterproductive. Some mail room employees have been known to single out inmates and throw their mail in the trash. Remember that.
Regarding a problem with visitation. If you are having problems getting approved for visitation or have questions regarding visitation, yes, contact them. But if there are actual problems in the visiting room----food machines empty, COs being rude, etc.,----there is no point. If they take it out on your loved one or your family, they can make a visit an adventure instead of the enjoyable time it should be. They see visits as PRIVILEGES not rights, so there is no real push for visiting to be as nice as it should be.
These are institutional problems. No inmate will hold it against your loved one if you inquire about these types of problems. These are legitimate problems.
BUT STAY OUT OF PRISON POLITICS. If a CO is treating you son unfairly, let your son take care of it. And don't DARE call the prison to complain about another inmate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would also be careful in calling and complaining about a case manager. Instead, just ask your same question to someone higher up the ladder. If you get the reputation of being a chronic complainer, it will be like the little boy that cried wolf---the will quit responding to you.
Many of these people are petty and mean-spirited. Remember that. But most are lazy and incompetent. Just know who you are dealing with.
It is very effective to let them know in a subtle fashion that you are the WIFE or the MOTHER and that you are very concerned about this problem----and you are looking for a solution. No, don't DEMAND a solution, just say you are looking for a way to solve the problem. Many inmates have no family on the outside to fight for them, so when a staff member hears that you are the wife or mother, their ears perk up.
The generalized conditions such as a/c, heat, kitchen food, canteen privileges, etc. are also problems that you want to stay away from. There is little heat and no a/c usually and conditions such as the food will not change anyway.
I know most of you understand this, but I had a lady yesterday that called the Lieutenant to complain about another inmate AND a CO. She did not know better. This is what really prompted me to write this.
Unless there is an egregious civil rights violation, let your loved one take care of it. If there is a serious violation, it is time for an attorney anyway.
Phone calls are effective, followed by emails; snail mail is the least effective means of dealing with a prison problem.
This is just what I observed during my time in prison.
Just trying to help.
rewdiazepam
If your loved one has a problem with medical or with a transfer, by all means call and attempt to get it rectified. Same goes if he is having a classification probglem. When you call, ask point blank questions. Be direct, but above all BE POLITE and civil. If you come off as an ass, they will slow play you and it will never get done.
Remember above all BE NICE AND BE TACTFUL. Prison officials do not respond well to crude language, loud outbursts, threats, or demands.
By being direct and point blank, they cannot evade your question or beat around the bush. If they don't know, ask them, "Who could I contact to fix this problem?" If they think you might be going over their head to find a solution, many times the problem will be fixed at the local level. Also threats rarely work against these people so threatening to go to the warden will probably cause more problems. Rather than threaten, just do it without saying anything.
If your loved one is having problems with a special medical diet in the kitchen, or as I said, with medical or a transfer, by all means contact them. The squeaky wheel gets the most grease and if you say nothing, nothing will ever be done---trust me on that.
Regarding a problem with the mail. Unless you think a letter has been lost, there is no reason to complain to the mail room. There are too many methods they can use to cover up any problem. Complaining about the mail being slow is counterproductive. Some mail room employees have been known to single out inmates and throw their mail in the trash. Remember that.
Regarding a problem with visitation. If you are having problems getting approved for visitation or have questions regarding visitation, yes, contact them. But if there are actual problems in the visiting room----food machines empty, COs being rude, etc.,----there is no point. If they take it out on your loved one or your family, they can make a visit an adventure instead of the enjoyable time it should be. They see visits as PRIVILEGES not rights, so there is no real push for visiting to be as nice as it should be.
These are institutional problems. No inmate will hold it against your loved one if you inquire about these types of problems. These are legitimate problems.
BUT STAY OUT OF PRISON POLITICS. If a CO is treating you son unfairly, let your son take care of it. And don't DARE call the prison to complain about another inmate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would also be careful in calling and complaining about a case manager. Instead, just ask your same question to someone higher up the ladder. If you get the reputation of being a chronic complainer, it will be like the little boy that cried wolf---the will quit responding to you.
Many of these people are petty and mean-spirited. Remember that. But most are lazy and incompetent. Just know who you are dealing with.
It is very effective to let them know in a subtle fashion that you are the WIFE or the MOTHER and that you are very concerned about this problem----and you are looking for a solution. No, don't DEMAND a solution, just say you are looking for a way to solve the problem. Many inmates have no family on the outside to fight for them, so when a staff member hears that you are the wife or mother, their ears perk up.
The generalized conditions such as a/c, heat, kitchen food, canteen privileges, etc. are also problems that you want to stay away from. There is little heat and no a/c usually and conditions such as the food will not change anyway.
I know most of you understand this, but I had a lady yesterday that called the Lieutenant to complain about another inmate AND a CO. She did not know better. This is what really prompted me to write this.
Unless there is an egregious civil rights violation, let your loved one take care of it. If there is a serious violation, it is time for an attorney anyway.
Phone calls are effective, followed by emails; snail mail is the least effective means of dealing with a prison problem.
This is just what I observed during my time in prison.
Just trying to help.
rewdiazepam
He was moved a week later.
I only wish I had called her sooner. He told me that the day after I made that call, he saw his counselor.
So the people at the prison were completely unhelpful, but I carefully moved up the ladder, and things improved very quickly.
I know exactly what you are talking about, just went through something today actually. I ordered him a property package back on 9/2, I tracked it and found out it was delivered to the prison and signed for on 9/10, but he had not yet rcvd his call out to pick up his package from the property room. I was informed by one person that 1 pair of shorts was missing from the package so it was being held until they rcvd the pair of shorts. I asked her when that would be and she said I don't know, they are out of stock...I became very frustrated and finally I did call the wardens office. In the end they agreed to refund me for the missing shorts and release his package, why couldn't this have been done in the first place and saved all of this aggravation.
On the other hand, I became very upset this past weekend in visitation because of something I saw a CO do to him, he cautioned me not to call the prison, said it was not that big of a deal, so I did listen to him, after all he is the inmate and the one who has to live there right?
Sometimes we have to contact people if our guys are being mistreated or harassed but it helps to know the right way to approach it.