I hear ya. I feel like i am all empty inside without my hubby. he is my best friend in the whole world and my sunshine. he will call you or write. unfortunately it is normal to not hear for awhile after they go in. i am sure it is not because he isnt trying to get a hold of you. :)

Your kids really need you right now. I know how rough the beginning is, I remember it very well. I can see you're worried and sad, we have all been there before, but please remember your children can feel this too and they need you to be strong for them. They are only children and it can be so scary knowing mom is hurting. I know you probably don't believe it right now, but eventually you will find comfort in how patient you've become. Human beings have an amazing ability to adapt, it's the way we survive. Days and nights are so long right now, but you will hear from him as soon as he can. It's going to be okay. And we are all here for you too.

Please allow me to give you some fatherly advice from someone who has been on the inside.

Hon, and I don't say this is a critical manner at all, as I know you love and miss your guy, but you need to step back, take some deep breaths, and not allow your imagination to run away with you and poison your mind.

Many of you have guys in prison who are new arrivals. They want to write, I am sure, but the new setting is so hectic that it is sometimes difficult to do so in the beginning. Once they are settled in, their letters will come on a more regular basis.

It is not as if going to prison has somehow magically caused them to not care for you anymore. That is not what is happening.

Now think about this, ladies. Your guy NEEDS you as much as you need him. If you get so wound up over this and get down, who is going to help your guy with his stay in prison? Who will give him moral support? If you become a basket case, you will not be there for him.

Having a man in prison takes a load of patience. If your guy is new to prison, you and he have a longer journey ahead. Pace yourself.

As I have suggested to many people, if this is beginning to consume you---which it is to some---make a doctor's appointment this week and get some meds to help you cope. If your doctor cannot see you, find another one.

But it is obvious that some of you are having a very difficult time. If you hit rock bottom, who will look after your guy?.

Just my two cents. I am only making suggestions and trying to help.

rewdiazepam

Thank you rewdiazepam. I always enjoy reading your sentiments to situations.. I agree that this is hard for the me to handle and I am fastly falling apart. Calling around today to find another practice to see... I understand he needs to get into the flow of things but he has to remember what its like for me not to hear or see him for over a week now... i am trying to understand but yes I am fearful of the unknown... The silence is driving me mad.. I just need something. anything to let me know he's alright..

I too enjoy the perspective. Keep us ladies focused! Lol

You also have to remember that men aren't as used to expressing their feelings, or writing letters. Some just don't know what to say in a letter.

Sometimes mine did write from the heart, but sometimes it was short and sweet. Towards the end he barely wrote at all because we talked several times a day, BUT he got upset if I didn't write almost daily. Letters in there are like gold. It's also a status symbol. The guys notice who gets mail and who don't.

And when they first get into the prison, can you imagine what's going through their minds. The fear of the unknown and what they have heard prison is like. Also wondering what will happen to you while they are in. They do wonder if you will wait, and how you will survive.

Rewdiazepam is right too, they have alot they go through in the beginning. Doctor appointments, appointments with counselors, etc. Their heads are spinning in every direction at first.

I rarely got lovey dovey letters. Sometimes I got upset because he was just writing things that he needed me to do, or basic stuff I wanted more. But that just wasn't him. Out here he is loving, and a softie, in there, they don't want to be seen as a softie. That could be dangerous. They can't show they are lonesome or scared. That is dangerous too. They cannot be seen as someone that could be pushed around. They really can't be seen in tears. They have to hide their emotions.

I think my guy in some ways was relieved when he spent 3 months in solitary. He didn't have to deal with any of the guys and the prison crap, and had alot of time to sleep, to make the days go away, and avoid all the bs that goes on there with egos etc.

They certainly can't tell you what's going on in there, if something is wrong. It can't get around that they told us, or they could be perceived as snitches, because even if they don't tell, we could.

What I am trying to tell you is there is alot they have to deal with. And alot of it IS missing the real world. I see it now, with him home, he wants to experience EVERYTHING that he missed out on for so long. Even grocery shopping. He is so excited to do things and see things. The things we see and do everyday and think they are nothing.

I hope this helps some.

Mine also told me it was hard to find anything to write about since he did basically nothing all day, every day.

He told me on the phone he had a very long letter to write as soon as he got his supplies this thursday. I am just incapable of waiting. I wonder about things. I've told him I'm waiting. No one else can replace him. He has had my heart for as long as I can remember. Even my kids' father didn't have this type of hold on mylove. Waiting for that call, waiting to be able to see him, waiting for his letters...its just too much. I literally have no contact and its freaking me out. I need to have him..at least part of him in my life... whatever way that is right now...