Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Jays_Lover 03/26/2018

Hey Guys!
This is my 1st time posting and I need find someone who is in the same boat as me. I decided to reach out and get a pen pal and I met someone who I thought would just be a good friend. Ya know? Someone I can talk to, vent to and he could do the same. I didn't intend to be feeling the way that I do about him but I love him. I'm not sure if I'm "In Love" but I definitely love his ass. He doesn't ask me for ANYTHING! He calls, writes and sends emails all the time. It would be good to find a friend I could chat with who is somewhat in the same situation as me. I haven't told my friends about him because I don't want the judgement to start. Is there anyone going through what I am right now? Im nervous and scared about the way I feel about him only because I want it to be a success and I want to build with him when he comes home. Am I crazy?

Ms.901996C 03/26/2018

Nope.
I'm in the same position.
All I have to say is...don't feel nervous or scared. Keep communicating. If it's meant to be, it'll happen.

I haven't told anyone because of the judgement either.
So...welcome Jays_lover! (Does that nick name have anything to do with the Toronto Blue Jays?) :)

Patiently_Waiting426 03/26/2018

Yeah you’re def not crazy, but def a non traditional situation. I think it’s normal to have some reservations at first but as Ms.901996C said keep the communication open and honest. Have you met him yet? I think when you know more abt him and your feelings get stronger if they do you will feel more secure in your connection and care less abt what ppl think. Tell them when you’re ready.

Jays_Lover 03/27/2018

Ms.901996C......You are so right! If its meant to be, it'll happen. I think I'm a little nervous cause we connect so good in such a small time. It takes alot for me to open up and our conversations are just amazing. I never want them to end. Honestly I wanna tell my friends sooo bad but I just can't right now. So I'm gonna just wait. And no his nickname is Jay that's where I got the name from...Thanks for responding!!!

Jays_Lover 03/27/2018

Patienly_Waiting....Thanks for responding!! But no I haven't even met him yet! Its only been like 4 months. I want to meet him but he is 8hrs away from me which sucks. We gonna start with the video visitation when the prison he's in gets it which should be soon. Yeah you right about me feeling secure once I know more about him. I'm so looking forward to it!

Ms.901996C 03/27/2018

Take it one day at a time. Hey...it could work or it may not but you'll never know unless you try, right? Don't put too much pressure on either of you for it to work because sometimes the best of relationships don't work and we learn from every situation. The best thing about situations like the ones we're in is that you get to know each other from the inside out.
Enjoy every moment! It doesn't seem like it but the days, weeks and months fly by.

Jays_Lover 03/28/2018

Yes Ma'am. You're right. I gotta try. And yeah I consider him my best friend cause we've gotten to learn so much about each other and still learning. We have no problem communicating. I want it to stay that way.

Patiently_Waiting426 03/28/2018

Hey Jay!
I hope you get to meet him soon! I met A in April, but actually MET him face to face in August. 8hrs sounds far, but at least it’s driveable. I fly to see A every 4-6 months which is a pain, and pricey bc of car rental and finding a place to stay, but it’s worth it. Being able to see him on video chat will be nice I’m sure! But like Ms above said just enjoy getting to know him for now. :)

TxDan 03/28/2018

Hi everyone I'm new to this site & to this group.......I have insight on everyone in here or perspective if you will......I'm a ex felon I spent 10yrs in prison been out 16yrs..... I've had a few pen pals while in there but unfortunately none of them worked out we communicated & all but that jus lasted only a few months....but I moved on & did my time I've known a few women since I've been out that have met & married a guy from prison........but then some they meet & everything seems to be going ok then something happens.....unfortunately there are guys in there that yes they say all what you want hear but half of them are jus looking for a free ride once they get out....even if they don't ask anything from you now they could once out......I'm not trying to scare you away from being a penpal but as everyone says take it slow don't jump into anything fast even if he seems to be "THE ONE" for you I'm not bashing those guys that are really liking to settle down & turn their life around.....jus be careful

Ms.901996C 03/28/2018

Thank you for the "heads up" Dan. That's pretty cool of you.

This con has always terrified me. One of K's friends (well, they're no longer friends) did that to his girlfriend. Everything was good until he got out. Her two kids even called him dad.
Pretty pathetic and now K and the ex girlfriend are friends. She and I keep in touch and was so happy that K stood up for her.

I've heard the stories first hand.
Keep safe ladies. Open your eyes and trust your gut.

Jays_Lover 03/28/2018

Welcome TxDan! And thanks for the info. I'm keeping my eyes wide open with this. I'm praying for the best!

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