Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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artty6423
artty6423
Hi all,

I am a new member on here. I am not sure exactly what I am doing and or if I am doing this right, but I came here looking for some support.

Tomorrow will be one of the hardest days of my life, as my friend, the possible love of my life will be incarcerated. He will be serving a short term (30 months). But the next 30 months is going to be the hardest 30 months of my life. I am going to miss him so much. I want to be strong and supportive for him but I am such a mess myself. I can only be so strong...I have been there for him from the time he was initially arrested to his hearings and his final sentence. I cry sometimes until I have no more tears to cry. I am just looking to see if there is anything/s that people have found helpful when in a similar position.

Also, I guess I will be sending letters, but dont have a clue what to say in the first letter. We have been writing each other letters for over a year so I know we can communicate through the letters. Just hard as I will miss all the long phone calls, the weekends and the trips together.

And also are there any books about prison life, or supporting a loved one or family member in prison?
vckmag42
vckmag42
Hi artty6423, I remember all the feelings you describe; breaking down the first time my son went to prison. He was only 18. He had a 2 year sentence but only served 9 months. I was so depressed I had to go on medication. So if you are feeling bad you should visit a doctor. It will help. Now 7 years later my son is back in jail again. A lot has changed - instead of Western Union payments I use JPay now. I find it very convenient. They also have an email service and phone prepay. You can also buy music for an ipod but check and make sure it s allowed where your brother is located. My son can't have the music app so I send him words in a letter of his favorite songs. Sometimes he writes to me and asks me for songs that are just so depressing - I tell him I can't send that to you. I send him something encouraging.
artty6423
artty6423
Ya its just hard on me. I dont know. Like my friends really dont know and even if they did it wouldn't help me, like no one can relate to it except those who are going through it or have gone through it.

I am thankful that with everything that we did his 20 year sentence was cut down to 2.5! and hopefully there wont be any going back. I can hardly take it, I dont know if I could take another sentence and all.

What sucks the most is that from the time of his arrest to the time of his sentence was 15 months. So while he only got 30 month sentence he really got 45 months. Ughhh...the system moves so freaking slow. It annoys me to no end!

By the way does anyone know anything about then BOP and the inmate locator? it shows his release date in 778 days which is only 2 years and 40 days when he was suppose to have 2 and a half years. Under the header release date it says actual or projected. I'm super confused - does this mean they anticipate him getting out early or what?
stacyanne1975
stacyanne1975
He does 85% in federal. He could also get out earlier than that going to house arrest or a halfway house. My brother's date on there is Feb 14,14. Well, that is his real release date, but he gets out earlier to a halfway house and than to house arrest. Your friend could get out earlier than that date. Taking classes and getting a job is some of the things they will look at, that is why I thought you should mention the class thing to him.
If he is a first time offender, in there for a non violent crime, there are things you can do to get him out early because of the Second Chance Act. You can do paperwork yourself or hire someone. I paid someone to do my brother's he got 11 extra days because of it, I wanted more of course, but I am glad it got him something. Google second chance act, you will see what I am talking about.

I would start on it right away, it takes forever with these people. I hired someone last September and we did not get an answer until the end of June. Your friend's sentence is 3 months longer so he may be able to get a little more time on the outside than my brother.