Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Im new to this site. I figured I needed to find people that could relate to talk to. Because of course family and friends can't relate. My boyfriend and sons father just recently got sentenced. He got life with parole for armed robbery and kid napping. And my life has been turned upside down. Family and friends act as if I should just be okay with this. How when the love of my life and my sons father has been given a life sentence. Now we were preparing ourselves that he'd have to do a lengthy sentence but more like 10-15yrs. Now this was his first offense, he's never even had a speeding ticket. And no one got hurt, he got kidnapping because a employee was present when he tried to rob an establishment. I completely understand that he has to pay for his crimes. But life just seems so very extreme. He had been being so strong since he got sentenced a few weeks ago. But I knew that was all a facade. Last night he finally broke down and told me he'd rather be dead than do all this time. I don't know what to say to that. I mean we had been talking about appealing or getting an attorney to look at getting him resentenced. You know just trying to find away to get him out sooner. So it broke my heart to hear he wants to die. I feel so very helpless that I can't really do anything to help him. I couldn't take it if he was dead. I don't know if anyone is going through something similar or can just provide kind words.
As for working on an appeal be in for a very long ride for that! My guy was granted an appeal in 2015 and he has been working very hard sending in paperwork to the courts to see where it stands and he still hasn't heard back yet! The justice system sucks big time!! The best thing you can do for him is write to him ALOT and let him know you love him and you're going to stay by his side no matter what! Even if you don't have that much to say just tell him you love him, trust me those 3 words will be needed each and everyday so as he doesn't think of ending his life. It's very stressing/depressing in there and he needs all the love and support from you he can get! If he has family/friends he'll need them too! But unfortunately more times than not they disappear,especially when it's a very long sentence; that's what happened to mine. If you don't live far from his facility try to go see him as much as you can. Phone calls are very expensive but if he can call you at least once a month or so that's good too!
I'm not going to sugar coat it and say this is going to be an easy ride because it's not. There are going to be times when you want to cuss him out for doing such a dumb a$$ thing, then there are going to be times you'll cry like a baby because you miss him so much! It's going to be a rollercoaster that you wish you could get off, but you can't until that time comes.
Try to keep yourself busy as much as possible so you don't drive yourself crazy. I see you have a son (how old?) so try and stay strong for him, of course there'll be days where you'll fall apart and that's okay too, he'll see you're human.
Hang in there and like I said come here as much as you want to vent. Sending super hugs!
If he pled out, he has no real appealable issues except possible ineffective counsel. If the sentence was an illegal sentence, then of course, he can appeal that. But in a plea, he agreed to the sentence and there are no grounds for appeal unless his attorney did a terrible job or misled him.
If he went to trial and was convicted, there are always things that went on in the trial which may be grounds for appeal. Improper jury instructions, the improper admitting of evidence, etc., are all grounds for an appeal. The appellate court will NOT replay the trial and second guess the jury, but if the state broke the law or deprived him of his constitutional rights and protections, then yes, he has grounds to appeal the sentence.
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Yes a lot of the time guys who do long amounts losse everything sad but true.
Keep coming back here we will try and help the best we can (definitely listen to REW about the appleal stuff he knows his stuff...hi REW :)) in good and bad.
Hugs and come back as much as you want.
I went thru a lot with my husband prison in ID, then work release he got lucky h got transferred their after being few about 2.5 yrs in prison. We did 5 yrs , now he is taking care of his old stuff from 2006 in seattle. Though we did somehow get lucky because he was out of state and doing interstate compact back to WA so we ended up getting instead of public defender here we got an actual amazing lawyer who had her own firm for 35 yrs. She did everything she could for us... including keeping amazing contact and communication between all of us. Even sending his fingerprints to the private investigation in california... she went above and beyond and he got 7 months of work release here in seattle which he started to do in October of this yr. We have almost 5 months left.... but as of before i didnt have much of support of anyone and my family hated him. He showed them after he got out of prison that he is ready to change and was a changed man.... and my parents love him now and support us and our families. Also i have support from my seahawk 12s friends. We are like a big family... its amazing how support can make a huge difference.
I hope you find support or figure it out how to stay positive. I was a mess for quiet a long time until i found my love of football sport and the people in it. But i can't even imagine being in your situation right now... it must be so hard. I hope u find a solid support and also decide whats important to you. hang in their with time things will come together.
But he may be able to appeal the sentence. The sentence he received is his biggest problem.
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