To all the wives, girlfriends, mothers, and family members who have sons/daughters, boyfriends, husbands and loved ones in prison----

I realize that this is a tough time for you. I know it is really tough. The days endlessly drag on, you may be struggling, and the day of his or her release seem so far into the future.

I do work in prison reform, sex offender registry reform and support for the families of inmates. I was also an inmate once, so over the years I have seen the full spectrum of sorrow that these situations leave.

BUT I am here to tell everyone that there IS life after prison. In a way, the life post-prison is a way to start a new life with your guy, a life that can be both productive and loving.

Much of the success after prison is what they newly released makes of his situation. If a person has a positive attitude and is willing to work and get his hands dirty, he will do fine. I deal with sex offenders and regular prisoners have a much easier time after release than registrants. No, everything will not be hunky dory, but is anything in life every perfect????

If I didn't know that there were second chances for those that made a mistake or that someone has no future after his or her release from prison, I would not even be typing this message right now. I would just pack it in and go fishing or something.
But I believe in people and I want people to believe in themselves.

Over the years I have seen Soooooo many men and women come out of prison to still have a decent life. The idea that prison ruins a person is just talk from people who do not understand the system.

After prison, an inmate still has control of his or her destiny. True, the job market is reduced, there is a certain stigma with ex-inmates, and it will not be rosy, but we have to admit that he/she is out of prison with the opportunity to start all over.

Jobs are harder to find, but they are out there. A person just has to be persistent and not accept failure. We cannot accept failure. But a person can get into a trade or go back to school and re-invent himself. Nothing prevents anyone released from prison from doing that.

In most cases, the only thing that will cause failure after prison is when a guy just throws in the towel. A person is never a loser until he or she just gives up.

I have seen my inmate buddies and the friends I support become landscapers, start a construction company, install siding and metal roofs, become a welder, get into HVAC and become a plumber. One inmate friend I know became such a good plumber and had so much work that he had to hire a couple of guys.

If a person is good at his trade, he will always be able to find work. When people have a leaky roof, an overflowing toilet, or an air conditioner not working in one hundred degree heat, they don't care who fixes it----even an ex-offender. They just want it fixed.

At the same time I have seen marriages and relationships blossom far beyond the couple's expectations as the time away from each other had made their bond even stronger. Many young men and women have used their prison experience to become very strong individuals with real goals that they attain.

Many people will say that relationships often fail after prison. Well, so what? Relationship fail for people who have never been to prison in the first place. Is that a reason to never try???

We cannot have a defeatist attitude no matter how much sand is kicked into our face.

Most of the inmates' families I help are young inmates. They and their spouses or girlfriends have so much of their life ahead of them that it is a tragedy if they allow the system to be an obstacle in the way of their happiness.

Help for all is out there. I personally will try to help anyone here if they have a problem they cannot solve regarding prison and the aftermath. If you ever need me, message me. This is what I do---help prison families.

God bless you all,

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