Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Hi,
I think I have to walk away from this. I can't continue to give my money, wait for someone who might not be able to offer me anything. And I'm a single mom, so all the money I am spending, I could be saving for my child. I resent this whole situation. I'm pissed that for the first 3 years I've been waiting for my boyfriend to propose b/c he has been saying how he wants to settle down and get married to me. Then he tells me that is going to jail for something that happened 10 years ago. NOw I have to wait 2 or MORE years up to 6 years for him? And then he might not be able to find a decent job b/c of the felony record. I"m pissed and resentful. I don't deserve this at all. I'm not married, he is just my boyfriend. I really want to just walk away. He lied to me this whole time. Plus, his sister tells me that he will owe 11K when he is released and my boyfriend never told me this at all. He is still keeping information from me, and I want to confront him when he calls but I also don't know if stressing him about this is good for him. But then again, I really don't care of his feelings if he is lying to me about 11K. I need to just walk away.
I think I have to walk away from this. I can't continue to give my money, wait for someone who might not be able to offer me anything. And I'm a single mom, so all the money I am spending, I could be saving for my child. I resent this whole situation. I'm pissed that for the first 3 years I've been waiting for my boyfriend to propose b/c he has been saying how he wants to settle down and get married to me. Then he tells me that is going to jail for something that happened 10 years ago. NOw I have to wait 2 or MORE years up to 6 years for him? And then he might not be able to find a decent job b/c of the felony record. I"m pissed and resentful. I don't deserve this at all. I'm not married, he is just my boyfriend. I really want to just walk away. He lied to me this whole time. Plus, his sister tells me that he will owe 11K when he is released and my boyfriend never told me this at all. He is still keeping information from me, and I want to confront him when he calls but I also don't know if stressing him about this is good for him. But then again, I really don't care of his feelings if he is lying to me about 11K. I need to just walk away.
And if he didn't tell you about the charges from 10 years ago to begin with and now has lied about the large amount of $ he will owe at the end of his sentence you may want to re-evaluate the relationship.
This is a hard road to go down. I was not strong enough to go down it as a gf but I love him and still keep in contact with him. He is my bf! But I have met some amazing women in this life who have connections and bonds with their men that I admire and would love to have.
If it is true love it will be worth it.
But ...One thing that was (and still is) extremely frustrating to me was that I couldn't have a completely open and honest conversation with my son because everything was being recorded. Same thing with letters.
It is possible that he didn't want to marry you because he knew the law would one day catch up to him. You have a right to know the truth about someone before you make a lifelong commitment.
And I think your kids should come first.
The sad reality is that prisoners barely survive inside without financial help from outside. The food is gawdawful, and they recently cut the library budget in half. It's hard to turn away. I resent the whole situation, too. Some 'indigent' prisoners are given a small allowance for basic grooming needs. It's like $20 a month in our state. It's not much, but it helps.
But I also agree with Luke "... I have met some amazing women in this life who have connections and bonds with their men that I admire and would love to have.
If it is true love it will be worth it."
=)
He found a good temp agency that works with felons. Our state also pays the employers up to $5000 for hiring felons, and also a tax credit of $2400 so our state does have companies that do hire felons. It's profittable for them. Also Mn does that too. I don't know how much, but similar. They give them a certificate to give whatever employer hires them to send in.