Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
The visiting yard has its cast of strange characters---even weirdoes---but it also is the site of much anguish and many tears.
I did not receive that many visits. My parents were in poor health and the only visits I did receive was one every two months by an old high school sweetheart----God bless her.
On the visiting yard, you would see mothers, dressed nicely as if they worked in a bank or something---come to visit their son or husband---or their BF. By the mother's appearance you knew that she or her son had never had any dealings with the criminal justice system and both were simply lost, but doing the best they could.
But she was there because she loved her son or husband with a love you rarely see any more. Yes, you could see she was uncomfortable and her sitting among all the other inmates with the unkempt
beards and prison tattoos made her stick out like a sore thumb.
I had to play the role of the hardened convict at times to get along in the medium security prison I was at, but it literally broke my heart.
This is when I began to worship the prison ladies instead of just take them for granted.
She, like ALL the ladies on this board, had a trait that 90% of the people on earth never have and never will----an unconditional love for another human being. This is why I have learned to worship every single one of you ladies here regardless of your personal circumstance.
She was making a difference in another persons life.
Like all the great ladies here, she was willing to put herself out there, to face possible rude behavior by the COs, to be treated like a third class citizen, to brave rain or snow, to stand in line for hours to be with the person she loves.
If there is a hereafter, the women who support the men in prison will be in the most coveted place, to live for ever more. I am including the ladies on this board.
Yes, I saw many tears on the visiting yard---tears of frustration, tears of confusion, and yes, tears of hope for both the lady and her son---or the wife and her son.
Hope is a funny concept. It is always there, but sometimes it does not make itself evident.
Sometimes the HOPE is in the form of a woman coming to visit her man.
See, my remarkable ladies, it is not so much what we have accomplished here on earth that is important, but how we have treated our fellow man that is important.
Not only did I see the upper class represented there on the visiting yard, but I also saw the poor.
The visiting yard is where all the mothers, Gfs, or wives converge for one a small period of time----to see the man they are waiting for. For a few hours, they are all equal----women who love an inmate.
Many of the ladies were not wearing expensive clothes. In fact, some looked as if it was bought at your local garage sale. Many no doubt spent their last dime to buy gasoline to make the trip in a car that was about ready to completely break down, a jalopy or a rattle trap.
Such acts of selflessness you rarely see these days.
But they all came----in all kinds of weather and whenever the visiting yard was open.
They---and I am talking about you, my fellow poster--- are the true angels in this world and do not let anyone tell you different.
See, I know these things, as I was there. I saw how the visits and the tons of letters you write to your "man" made him stronger and gave him the will to go on----even in the darkest days.
Everyone who knows me----the older posters here----know how much I admire you all. Call it admiration, call it praiseworthy, call it great, call it wonderful. They are all the same. You ladies are great.
Everyone who knows me also knows I do not say things I do not mean.
You are doing a service that very few people are willing to do.
If nobody has told you that you are special lately, I just did.
God bless you all, I love you with all the being I have.
rewdiazepma
I did not receive that many visits. My parents were in poor health and the only visits I did receive was one every two months by an old high school sweetheart----God bless her.
On the visiting yard, you would see mothers, dressed nicely as if they worked in a bank or something---come to visit their son or husband---or their BF. By the mother's appearance you knew that she or her son had never had any dealings with the criminal justice system and both were simply lost, but doing the best they could.
But she was there because she loved her son or husband with a love you rarely see any more. Yes, you could see she was uncomfortable and her sitting among all the other inmates with the unkempt
beards and prison tattoos made her stick out like a sore thumb.
I had to play the role of the hardened convict at times to get along in the medium security prison I was at, but it literally broke my heart.
This is when I began to worship the prison ladies instead of just take them for granted.
She, like ALL the ladies on this board, had a trait that 90% of the people on earth never have and never will----an unconditional love for another human being. This is why I have learned to worship every single one of you ladies here regardless of your personal circumstance.
She was making a difference in another persons life.
Like all the great ladies here, she was willing to put herself out there, to face possible rude behavior by the COs, to be treated like a third class citizen, to brave rain or snow, to stand in line for hours to be with the person she loves.
If there is a hereafter, the women who support the men in prison will be in the most coveted place, to live for ever more. I am including the ladies on this board.
Yes, I saw many tears on the visiting yard---tears of frustration, tears of confusion, and yes, tears of hope for both the lady and her son---or the wife and her son.
Hope is a funny concept. It is always there, but sometimes it does not make itself evident.
Sometimes the HOPE is in the form of a woman coming to visit her man.
See, my remarkable ladies, it is not so much what we have accomplished here on earth that is important, but how we have treated our fellow man that is important.
Not only did I see the upper class represented there on the visiting yard, but I also saw the poor.
The visiting yard is where all the mothers, Gfs, or wives converge for one a small period of time----to see the man they are waiting for. For a few hours, they are all equal----women who love an inmate.
Many of the ladies were not wearing expensive clothes. In fact, some looked as if it was bought at your local garage sale. Many no doubt spent their last dime to buy gasoline to make the trip in a car that was about ready to completely break down, a jalopy or a rattle trap.
Such acts of selflessness you rarely see these days.
But they all came----in all kinds of weather and whenever the visiting yard was open.
They---and I am talking about you, my fellow poster--- are the true angels in this world and do not let anyone tell you different.
See, I know these things, as I was there. I saw how the visits and the tons of letters you write to your "man" made him stronger and gave him the will to go on----even in the darkest days.
Everyone who knows me----the older posters here----know how much I admire you all. Call it admiration, call it praiseworthy, call it great, call it wonderful. They are all the same. You ladies are great.
Everyone who knows me also knows I do not say things I do not mean.
You are doing a service that very few people are willing to do.
If nobody has told you that you are special lately, I just did.
God bless you all, I love you with all the being I have.
rewdiazepma
You see things that we see, know what we feel, and help us understand what we don't get answers for from those in the prisons, our guys, or the staff.
You explain things so we can get through this better. You get us. Thank you so much.
You are my hero. And yep, I guess by your standards, I am one of those angels. I have went through so many tough times, and don't think I would ever stop. That is unconditional love, even though on a day like today, when he is crabby, not at me, but the place and god knows what else, I still love him and stand by him. Somebody's got to.
No, you are more than an angel.
You are an archangel, the angel among angels. And a pretty damn tough one at that.
I watch and observe things on the board. I have seen you with a stick-to-it-ness that is almost above human understanding.
Your guy may not realize it---and he probably will never admit it---but you are the glue that holds your and Ivan's relationship together.
Yes, you and all the other ladies here are my beloved friends.
rewdiazepam
I know I'm rambling but I just wanted to let you know how nice it is to hear the things you say.My husband is a great guy and tells me all the time how much he loves and appreciates me but hearing it from someone who doesn't even know me makes it special.Thank you, I needed a boost today!!
Hugs,
Pat
No one knows what this is like unless they are going through it, and lord knows, with him in and out so often, I sure have went through many things that maybe can help me help others.
I am strong sometimes, then at home at night a mush pot. Full of sadness and tears. And anger too.
I used to try to find ways to fight the charges, but in the end, you can't win. Sometimes you do find things they are doing wrong, and if you go about it the right way, you can make some changes to help them, but aythe end, they win anyway.
Patnard, I am sorry it looks like he can't get out sooner. Enough is enough. What a waste of precious life, and people other than ones who love him, that don't even know him really decide his fate. That m akes me mad.
Joslyn2 your journey has only just begun I am afraid, with no answers when it will be over. Until he is found, there is nothing anyone can do for him.
Best advice is go at this one day at a time. Don't consume your every second of the day being sad. Find something to make you feel better even for a little bit. Having the grandkids sounded like it was a good thing.
I find that coming on here, helping others helps me. We need to put our energies in other things besides thinking of them.
My fiance finds things to make me feel better. Pushes me at times to go somewhere, do something besides sitting in the house.
At first it's a chore, just making yourself do something, but it gets easier. Even just cleaning the house good, has been hard sometimes. I think because it was always spotless when he was home, and if it looks like that now, it reminds me of him being here, and that is painful sometimes. So I let it go for awhile, but hated it. It's not perfect yet, but better, and I feel better after I do it.
I am sticky glue to him. I stick to him and won't let him go, for his own good, and he knows that. Hope he remembers when he is free.
Any help I may give doesn't even compare to the comfort that Wisconsin has given people over the years. She is the matriarch of this forum. She probably does not want me to say that, but it needs to be said.
I have to spread myself so thin as I am in prison reform, supporting those wanting to reform the sex offender registry, and supporting the many families with sons, husbands, and family members affected by prison or the registry. I also do work on behalf of prison inmates who have been wrongfully convicted.
I am the voice of the underdog, those that have been disenfranchised and cast out by much of society.
I don't get over here as often as I like, but I do read all the posts.
All of you are special. You may not realize it and maybe nobody has told you lately but you are "special people." Never forget that.
I love you all.
rewdiazepam
In my journey here, I have hiked through the wilderness and across the sunny meadows. I've refreshed myself by the cool streams and taken shelter from the storms. I've recently climbed into some pretty hilly terrain, but there are still mountains before me. I cannot walk this journey alone; I depend on my brothers and sisters here to get me through.
Be at peace as much as you can, and always remember to breathe.
MWAH!!!! to my
MATRIARCH??? Hmmmm that sounds important. I think I like it. Do I get a crown too??? Why not? My fiance says I AM THE KING.. when I ask why he gets to decide things, or why he thinks what he says is better than what I say... He says it in a deep, royal type voice, with a British accent. HAHA
Maybe matriarch is too much, how about THE QUEEN?? Just kidding.
Thank you REW
I think some woman should catch you and never let you go, but then she wouldn't share you with us. I already know about how you feel on that subject though. So JUST KIDDING! LOVE YA
I don't get on here every day, but when I do, I read every post. You ladies are amazingly strong. This site is a blessing to me for sure!