I am so sorry you are feeling so down but you can't give up. Please try and give it some more time you will hear from him and hopefully someone will call you back. I was excatly where you are now 8 years ago but you can do this we will be here for you and your children need you. It will get better, I promise.

I don't even want to go home to check my mail... I know I'll be disappointed.. I don't want to go home ever. I work as much as I can. I can't do anything fun with anyone. I have no one to talk to but on here... I can no longer see the bright side of this... I've lost him... and my heart is so torn up ... thanks for caring.

Hon,

We all care about you. I care for your health and well-being. If I didn't, I would not be typing this message right not.

You have NOT lost your guy. Where do you think he would go? And why would he not want or care for you anymore?

I have seen many people overwhelmed and in a tizzy over events of which they have no control. Your guy's situation is out of your hands at the moment.

He will write---when he can. Not only do you have to stay strong and healthy for him, but you also must be there for your kids.

It is obvious to me, as a health care professional, that this situation is consuming you.

Please, please, get in to see a physician this week. He can give you something to ease the anxiety and help with your depression. Many of the meds he might give can be purchased at Wal Mart on their $4 plan. Celexa is a great antidepressant.

This situation is bigger than you are. There are times in life when we have to realize that we need help outside ourselves.

Let me know what you decide to do and how you are doing. Will you promise me that?

I care for you and just do not want to see you so upset and in such turmoil

rewdiazepam

PS BTW, you HAVE NOT failed at anything.

Years ago, I was pretty despondent too. I had a son and a fiance in prison at the same time. A double whammy. I even went to a therapist to see why I was going so crazy. But she was no help. Her advice was to MOVE ON, so I did. I moved on out of her office. Then I tried to find a support group in our community for people that have someone they love in prison, something like the groups out there for alcoholics families. There was none. Then I found DS. It helped in ways nothing else did. WE do understand because we are or have gone through it. You have so many people with information, and experience, and just caring that it really does help. We have gotten alot of people through their ordeals, as they got me through 3 years of mine.

I have both of them home now, and I thought that day would never come. But I am still here. I care about all of the wonderful people on here. And I am hoping that I can be some sort of inspiration to some of the people that think this is going to last forever. I did too, but it does end. We will help any way we can. Rew... is a good one to get advice from, he knows things from the other side of it. He can also tell you what your guy is going through.

I would encourage him to find out about getting a job in there, to help pass the time and make a tiny bit of money. It also helps him feel he has a purpose to the day. Or take every class offered to him.

And/or take up craft projects like mine did. He makes money from them, and it also gave him something to do and to be proud of. TONS of the guys crocet, knit, make jewelry, or other craft projects that are beautiful. You don't see on those prison shows rooms of guys knitting or crocheting. That wouldn't make good tv. But its happening.

wow, ihate - knitting and crocheting in prison? i am going to send mine some yarn - LOL... get to work babe! hee hee hee

No, hopemagnet, you can't send them yarn, that would be against the rules!!! HAHA You have to have them ORDER it from approved companies that the prison's must get a kick back from.

But can you imagine all these so called tough guys knitting and crocheting. Mine loved keeping busy. He tried crocheting, couldn't get into it, or it was too hard. But the craft project he is doing is making us lots of money, both when he was in there, and out here. They have a display case in the visiting room where other visitors can see what they make and buy them. One prison took a percentage of the profit, his last one didn't at all. He even had guards interested in buying them.

I sat and watched him doing the cross stitch thing with plastic mesh and yarn the other night at home. It is part of the semi truck piggy banks he makes. He did it so fast, he didn't even look while he was doing it. I had a terrible time doing it right.