I swear our "justice"system really sucks! My DH was murdered and the POS only got 4 years because he was 16 when the crime was committed, which still has me po'd big time! I'm so sorry his first/only offense they gave him so much time and in a max prison at that, that's crazy!

I can relate to this about his daughter growing up without him because my son is doing this too; not from my fiance being in prison (not his bio son) but because he was 17 months when the shooting happened. For me I'm absolutely dreading the day when I have to tell him what happened. I have lots and lots of pictures all throughout the house and photo albums so he can see his papa and I tell him all the time papa loves him!

I'd say to make sure you do the same and when she gets old enough have her write letters to him/go see him when/if you can and definitely phone calls when you can. I say when you can because phone calls are so expensive. We say on here to set a limit/budget every month so you're not going in debt.

You say you don't know how to make it without him, you're going to have to at least put on a brave face for your granddaughter because she's going to need you now more than ever, especially if you're becoming the guardian while he's gone, (unless the mom's still around). If you have a great extended family reach out to them.

It's going to be a long bumpy ride that at times is going to seem like forever (my fiance and I have 10 more years) and you want to throw in the towel, but don't give up on him. Sometimes when it's a lengthy sentence the family just says the hell with them (in our case) and never interact with them at all no kind of way.

I'll end by saying what my awesome bestie told me and that's they'll be home soon!! Big hugs!

WorriedmominOK,

From your screen name, I assume that you are from Oklahoma.

I was in the Oklahoma prison system for eight years a few years back. I served eight years of a 20 year sentence.

I can tell you anything you want to know about the Oklahoma DOC, as I am familiar with how the system in Oklahoma works; I also know a lot about each individual prison in Oklahoma or prisons in general.

You said, “I am so worried about his safety in a maximum security prison.”

Unless your son has a murder charge, he will not be going to a maximum security prison. Offenses with only a 12 year sentence do not have enough security points to send him to a maximum security prison. In Oklahoma, the only maximum security prison is at McAlester and I am sure a first time offender with only a 12 year sentence will not be sent there.

He may go to a medium, but most likely he will be sent to a minimum security prison. He will have no problems there as far as the other inmates are concerned, as violence at the lower security levels does not normally occur.

Anytime you need to ask me a question about prison or the system in Oklahoma, do not hesitate to contact me.

rewdiazepam

Thanks for both of your replies.
I will always supper my son and never give up on him. I will try and stay strong for my granddaughter but when my baby is in prison, it is hard.
Luckily my granddaughter has a great mom and we both tell my granddaughter how much her dad loves her.

I just need to find a way to stay strong.

Rewdiazepam - I sent you a private message.

I do understand the feeling you jave alot of emotions runnining thru you right now...but ALL i can say is jus to pray an be there for your son...God bless you ALL

Thank you desperate4help. I am praying for him all the time and I will always support him and never give up on him. My son is my world.

My dearest Mom
I know what you are going through. My brother has been in prison for 5 years and in the county jail now for the 4th time in 3 years. I am beside myself. It's one step forward, a hundred steps back. Let the love of friends surround you and try not to do this alone. If you have a church, embrace them and ask for help. You can make a difference on the outside.

Psalm 34:18-19 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

Hi Worriedmom, I too have a son that has been incarcerated for 3 years and 2 months. We go to trial this month and we possibly could be looking at life. Tears me up. My boy is also my life. Some days I have to take it minute by minute and not look into the future. I do maintain upbeat and positive for my boy. I have and do visit him 4 times a week, have phone calls and write letters. I to will never give up or turn my back on my boy. Our boys look to us so you have to be ok for your son. If you need to ever talk I am here❤️

Thank you all for your comments. We are all in this horrible situation and I know if we could we would get our loved ones out. I'm trying to take it day by day. This is truly the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.
You all are in my prayers

I could hardly read your message without crying. I'm in the same situation with my son. I don't know what to do to help my baby boy. He's my world and I can't do anything to help him.

My son is in prison for up to 6 years for a victimless crime; however, he has committed the offence in the past. He spent 15 years snorting meth and now readily admits he is a drug addict. He claims that his "crime" was a result of drug use and denies having offended before. He also has many of the traits of a psychopath. I don't know how to proceed in life. I believe my son does not grasp the seriousness of his actions. I have spent tbe past 10 years raising his daughter because the mother lost the privilege of raising her. I have nothing more to give him financially and emotionally. I feel hopeless for him. I love him dearly but must let him make his own way.