Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
I have such mood swings! I feel crazy most of the time. I have no idea how long he's going to be away. This week we might hear something, and I'm a nervous wreck. I can't seem to get my mind off the worst case scenario. I feel superstitious and paranoid writing about it- like I might jinx us. I know that's just crazy but I feel so many things all day long, and some of them wake me up in the middle of the night. I cannot seem to get a grip, no matter how hard I try. Being alone doesn't help, but I have no alternatives right now. I've never been a weak person before, and I have gone through some serious stuff in my life- but this is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with.
How did you get through the beginning? Especially if you had no one, and your kids needed you? I'm trying to pull it together for my son, he doesn't deserve this sadness, especially at Christmas. I feel guilty on top of everything else. I don't want to tell Adam how I feel, because I know it's even worse for him. I wish I could stay in the moment but my mind keeps going to the worst places.
How did you get through the beginning? Especially if you had no one, and your kids needed you? I'm trying to pull it together for my son, he doesn't deserve this sadness, especially at Christmas. I feel guilty on top of everything else. I don't want to tell Adam how I feel, because I know it's even worse for him. I wish I could stay in the moment but my mind keeps going to the worst places.
I took on his family genealogy search. This was something so hard, but so time consuming and interesting I did it gladly. Then I would be able to send him things, talk to him about what I found on our phone conversations, and it was a way of us working together on something.
I sent him pictures of everything I did to the house, or things I sewed, etc. It felt good to keep him knowing what my life was like.
The genealogy thing was especially fun. He hadn't known his dad most of his life. Found out when he was 16 that his dad was not dead like he had been told. Took him til age 29 to find him, and then his dad died 5 years later. So he had found out nothing much about that side of his family. So I found so many things, way back to the 1400's. It truly became a mission of mine. And I believe it helped me get through for a few months.
Take on anything you can to focus on, instead of the sadness. That doesn't help either of you. He will truly be glad to hear you happier, or more focused on something but the trial, the impending doom, the problems this is causing both of your lives. Give him that. Find things that will excite him that you are doing. I got my business administration degree while mine was in. He was so proud of me.
Mine is now home, I am in CNA classes, and internship. He is working so hard, and things are going better. I am telling you that to hope you will see that all this long misery does come to an end eventually. You have to keep your life going while he is gone. For yourself, and for him. You can make it through this, even though you feel you can't, like your heart is ripped apart, like nothing makes anything better, and like you have never been more alone in the world.
I did it. Mine was in over 3 years, but he had only been home 10 months from the last time of 2 years.
Take up hobbies, go volunteer, do something that makes YOU feel good, and it will make him feel good you are doing it. They love hearing about our activities. They don't want to always know how bad our life has become because of where they are.
I hope this helps, along with everyone else's posts.
You are going to at first think that nothing anyone says will help. But possibly one or two things once in awhile will subconsciously sink in and little by little help you.
This group helped me tremendously. It gave me something to look forward to. I would come on here and talk to people that I became really attached to. We helped each other. I SURVIVED his prison sentence, and life is pretty much good.
I never thought I could say that while I was going through it. REALLY!! I was a mess, just like you are, in every way.
I want to do my best.
Thank you for your wise words and support. I'm happy for you that your man is home. I wish you both love and happiness.